my life

hey,today wasn't going good well i installed this app...because i wanted to like talk or smg ,express my feelings its not really a book but i can be a book of my life today is Friday 3rd of may and in a month I'm giving panelinies which is totally shitty i'm totally lost i hate everything and my only goal for life is to lose weight how great can that be? i'm not even close to be happy not even a little bit i'm lost wherever i just wanna feel free rn,like i haven't gone out in monthsss i wished i would but my bestie didn't come and now I'm sitting in my room crying for my like begging for some help begging for some saving that'll help me get out of my miserable life and make me feel alive again happy maybe i wanna feel like breathing again the fun thing is that ill go to church you know i love Jesus i don't know why I'm destroying myself i guess its my only way of dealing with pain dealing with emotionless people and this shitty government that cares less for my happiness why give those stupid exams anyway? my life is shittu and nothing's gonna change