Unspeakble

What is the best thing to end your day? For Rico the answer is clear, chocolate milk. Especially after hard day like move out and unpacking your many stuff you bring from old home into this new home.  Unfortunately, his body and mind is not in good condition. That is why tonight not only a glass of hot chocolate milk will be his companion but cigarette too. Rico sit on his dining chair, ignite his cigarette and begin smoking. His brooding habit every night made him realized if his s****l orientation as bisexual will never be accepting by his parent. If he still live with his parent, sooner or later they will know. Rico's parent is very conservative and will never accept him as bisexual, to add his pressure Rico is only child. That is mean his parent have very high expectations for him to get marriage with a woman, have a child and live happy ever after, cliché. Well, Rico never deny idea about it. He wants it, a beautiful woman as his soul mate, lovely children and happy family. However, if you want something it does not mean you have to do it now. This is where problem begins. Rico inhale, exhale and feel tobacco inside him to remind his decision to left his parent and live away from them.  "Papa, mama no matter what happen. I am still your son and always be. But i can not hold it anymore! You forced me to marriage as soon as possible and produce grandchildren. What do you think i am? Baby factory?" Anyone who watch Rico speak with a glass of hot chocolate will agree if he is insane. Lucky for him, no one around but poor him no one to share his burden. Only hot chocolate and cigarette with him tonight. "I am bisexual. I have attract feeling with both men and woman. I had ex boyfriend and girlfriend. It is wrong to love men and woman? Okay, i admit if i want to marriage woman, be a good father and build my own happy family! You want to know why papa? Because you failed me! Your mistress make me f*****g sick!" His voice start shaking "I will show you papa. Real men will keep his family safe no matter the odds!" "My dear mama, i want you to know how lonely i am. You are too busy to take care your unfaithful husband and neglected me..." Rico can not hold his tear anymore "Now both of you pretend like everything covered and okay even after everything happened in our family! You don't f*****g understand my feeling, f**k!!!" After many years, finally Rico success hit his break down point. When he still lived with his parent remaining silent is a good way to avoid conflict and drama into his family. But now, his wall of protection is falling. "Did you know? I had s*x with many girl. I am not f*****g innocent and little boy anymore! HAHAHAHAHA" You can say it is irony when you shout this in front of glass while you crying.  "No matter you teach me about life, i have more experience than both of you! I know what is good for me and thanks to papa now i know how to be a good father by avoiding his mistake!" "I can f**k with anyone who i want to, i will marriage if i want to and i will have children if i want to. Not because you want bloody damn grandchildren mama!" There is only one logically answer why Rico become like this. He never came out to anyone else. So, when his parent become annoying to the max level, he decided to leave but not with his trauma. After all this brooding insane night need to be stop, tomorrow morning is his first day in office. His life will gotten worse if he come to office after yelling to glass all night long.  Rico put out his cigarette and drink his chocolate milk in one shoot hope it will turn into wine and ease his mind.