Sun and Moon Saga

Chapter3

“When someone comes to you with big dreams, don’t be too quick to belittle their ambition and dreams. Inspire and help them in any way you can. Even the beautiful butterfly was once a caterpillar.”

Jennie

I tugged on the window shade's string to let in some natural light while I danced to Airplanes by B.o.B occasionally singing along to it. How ironic that this song is playing as I pack my belongings since, in less than 48 hours, I would be boarding on one. I couldn’t keep myself from smiling as I paced back and forth from my closet, piling clothes on top of my bed. I have been longing to return to Seoul, my birthplace, and spend quality time with my mother. I am ecstatic, to put it mildly. Considering that my mother had intended to move somewhere other than Seoul, I am even more thrilled and relieved that she decided to return. The plan was for me to continue my education overseas rather than in Auckland, but I had another idea. For a while, I was convinced that I was going to pursue a career in criminal justice, but that ambition died the moment I received my first MP3 player. To kill time and boredom, I drowned myself in music, where I was able to free myself from thinking about bad things that connected me to how my life was and could have been in Seoul. I would get lost every time I put on my headphones and listened to anything and everything. It was a stress reliever as I became engrossed in the lyrics and the feelings that emerged. My entire being becomes enthralled with the music as soon as the rhythm begins to pulse. Thus, I have always had this nagging desire to work in the music industry. Even though I am aware of how much it will drain me and have heard several stories from my mother about how difficult it is and the kind of life you end up having once you make your public debut, I still managed to dream of it.

As soon as the next song on the playlist began to play—Katy Perry's California Girls—I reached for my phone and hit the next button. That is the last song I want to hear because it makes me think of how my mother was considering moving there. Having said that, I am happy we are returning to Seoul. I threw my phone on the bed on top of the clothes I had managed to make a mountain out of. Abruptly, I heard something fall in the corridor. When I turned around to investigate, it was not just something—it was someone.

"I had assumed that you would make my packing easier, but instead you created a mess that I now have to clean up.” I scoffed slightly, annoyed.

It was my friend Tyler who offered to help me pack. While he was carrying the bins that were still full of my junk that I had to sort through and throw away, he stumbled upon the stack of shoes arranged outside my room.

"Listen, Jennie Ruby Jane, I didn’t pass on the opportunity to hang out with the boys at the arcade to be bossed around,” Tyler huffed with his Kiwi accent.

I gave him a side eye that made him raise his eyebrows, widening the view of his ocean blue eyes.

“Well, you’re free to leave,” I sassed with a smirk. “You’re acting like I forced you to be here, and let’s not forget that you offered.”

He kept staring at me, and I could almost tell what was going through his mind. Tyler placed the bin down and started to make his way towards me. I gave him another side eye and before I turned away, he grabbed me by the arm and whispered teasingly,

“I offered because I know Jennie Ruby Jane pays her debt accordingly.”

He moved even closer, invading my personal space, as I inched my head away from his and rolled my eyes.

“Seriously? And here I am thinking that you were doing this to help a friend out. But you are here to compensate, aren’t you?” I said coyly as I raised an eyebrow.

Tyler quickly pecked my neck with his lips, and without flinching, I arched my neck more to give him more real estate to tour. I let out a small moan and cried, “Not now, Tyler. There’s so much to do, and can’t this wait until later?”

“Come on, Jennie. You’re leaving, and I’m really going to miss our makeout sessions. Besides, your aunt stepped out so we have the house to ourselves.” Tyler said beggingly. Although I couldn’t convince myself that I actually wanted him to stop, I had to compose myself. But f**k, the next thing I knew, my eyes were rolling back as his warm tongue slid beneath my earlobe and left behind moist trails of saliva. He put his hands around my waist and proceeded to explore every inch of my neck, so I gave in and wrapped my arms around his nape. After all the makeout sessions we’ve had, he knew exactly where and where not to put his hands. Before we had our first kiss, I gave Tyler an orientation so he knew which parts of my body were off limits. For the sake of all curious minds, Tyler Smith is not my boyfriend. He is a friend who happens to be a boy who I trust among all the boys in my school. In contrast to the other boys, who are horny and nasty, I feel at ease with Tyler. Despite his outward displays of lust and forwardness, he is a gentleman. For the record, our relationship is strictly platonic, and he respects my boundaries when it comes to making out. We are just two 14-year-olds who are experimenting with our sexuality. I pulled back and looked at him in the eyes and snarled, “You better not be like those other boys who kiss and tell. The last thing I want people to remember me by is having the reputation of what those damn i***t gangs of maniacs are spreading about me.”

My abrupt outburst of anger surprised Tyler. And you can see the frustration in his eyes as he sighed, “Ugh, why would you need to bring that up right now for crying out loud? Like, seriously, Jennie, you’re kind of proving those rumors true right now. It didn’t take long for my d**k to harden the moment I got a taste of your neck. But you cut me off from getting really hard.”

His words caused me to gasp in disbelief, my eyes wide open.

“Are you f*****g joking, Tyler? You better be joking, or I will send you home with blue balls this instant!”

“See. You are a c**k tease, Jennie.” He scowled jokingly.

"Yo!" I yelled as I pushed him so hard that he ended up on top of a pile of clothes on my bed. Tyler pulled me in by the waist as he fell back, causing me to topple over him and rub up against his semi-hard p***s. If someone other than Tyler said those things to me, I would have been extremely offended and irritated. Rather than taking offense at his words, I leaned forward and kissed him. He didn’t contest my actions and instead reciprocated my gesture hungrily as he prepared to open his mouth. The moment he parted his lips, I slipped my tongue in in search of his. The moment I felt his tongue on mine, I moved it around in circles, and he did the same. Tyler gripped my neck as he continued to pound me with kisses that were full of lust. As I remained on top of him, I felt my n*****s becoming harder beneath my cardigan. He was in full arousal, and I could feel his stiff member rub against my folds. Our bodies were in agreement to roll our hips together and grind. I started to feel friction between my legs, accompanied by moisture. We moaned in between our kisses. We grinded our hips together, making his d**k even harder and my core wet. I knew we had to stop, even though the feeling was so sensational. Being the gentleman that he is, Tyler never put any pressure on me to go beyond just dry humping. As a result, we have never really had penetration; we are both still virgins. He usually gets up and finishes himself in the bathroom while I, well, I have my ways.

I forced myself to pull away even though I did not want to, and you could see the disappointment in his eyes. “Come on, Tyler, you know the drill.” I reminded him.

“Don’t you want to just do it for the sake of you know…” Tyler suggested, as I shot him a look of uncertainty.

“For the sake of you know what, Tyler? What? You think I would give you my virginity as a going away present?” I snarked with a grin. He let out a sigh and wiped the saliva from his mouth. He continued to gaze at me through his blue, dissatisfied eyes. I gave him a pursed-lip smile and jabbed at the tip of his nose with my index finger. It took him longer than usual to get up, but he was startled when he felt a vibration next to his head. He trailed his hand back to where he felt the vibration and discovered my phone buried under a tank top. I grabbed it from his hand and saw a text message from my mom. I rolled over on my bed, freeing Tyler from under me as he rushed to the bathroom to relieve himself. I slid the unlock on my phone, and I read the message.

Eomma:

A mother thinks about her child day and night, even if they are not with her, and will love them in a way they will never understand. I love you, Jennie-yah. See you soon.

I smiled at her thoughtful message and read it again before I replied.

Less than 48 hours, eomma! I am almost done with packing and I can’t wait to see you! I love you, eomma. Please be safe 😊😘

I stared at my ceiling for a while after I replied to my mom’s message, processing the fact that I would be leaving this place I once called home. The same place where I spent a lot of my prepubescent years discovering myself and making friends as well as enemies along the way. I made great memories with friends by sharing first experiences and traumas that taught us valuable lessons. I looked around my room, taking mental pictures of where my things were placed. My posters on the wall, pinboard with a collage of Polaroid pictures, and framed awards and trophies were placed on my bookshelf. My close circle of friends has no idea about my plans in Seoul. When they kept pestering me about why I didn’t decide to continue my studies in Auckland, I simply strayed away from their question and told them, “Just wait, and you guys will see.” I got up from my bed, walked towards the book shelf, and took out my yearbook. While flipping over the pages, my eyes began to well up with tears. I saw faces that I will surely miss. I paused at the location of my photograph and began reading the quote I submitted beneath it.

“When someone comes to you with big dreams, don’t be too quick to belittle their ambition and dreams. Inspire and help them in any way you can. Even the beautiful butterfly was once a caterpillar.”

I smiled after reading it and closed my eyes as small tears fell on my cheeks. As I closed my year book and embraced it against my chest, I felt that I was closing the book of my life in New Zealand at the same time. A book filled with many years and many memories that I know I will embrace as well. And not long after, I will start a new volume as I take a leap of faith in an attempt to fulfill my dreams. Following your dreams is not always as easy as it appears. When you see a movie about someone pursuing his or her aspirations, the usual narrative leads you to assume that, after one or two hiccups and a couple of hours, you will eventually obtain exactly what you want. The real world works differently; for some people, this dream path may come true, but for the majority of us, the journey to our dreams is lengthy, difficult, and unexpected. And confidently, I’m ready to take on the unknown that awaits me in Seoul as I start the next volume.