Lost (Book 6 of the Forbidden Series)

17

She stared at him with that shocked expression in silence for far too long. This had not been the reaction Zeke had hoped to receive when he had professed his love. He had gone out on a limb and made himself vulnerable by admitting to how he felt. He never had in his life told any woman he loved them. Yet here he sat with his heart out in the open, and she simply gawked at him like he had two heads.

“This is the part where you say something back.” He playfully prompted her, hoping things would not take a turn for the worst.

Kat sat up and pulled away from him. She clutched her silk robe shut at her breast and Zeke knew right away he was not going to receive the answer he had been hoping for. Zeke sat up and tried to steal his emotions preparing himself for the worst. “I like you very much, Zeke…”

“But you don’t love me.” He said saving her the trouble of saying it.

“I just can’t. We’re just too dissimilar. You’re so young and free. My life is too different.” She said trying to explain.

“What you mean is you can’t settle for a guy like me,” Zeke said getting out of bed. He pulled on the shorts he had worn in. He would have to find the housekeeper to get his clothes back. “So, which is it exactly that you object too? Was it the poor young biker, or the poor young cop?” He asked turning to face her.

“It’s not like that Zeke. Please be reasonable. You can’t possibly love me.” Kat argued standing up and facing him.

How could she possibly know that? Why couldn’t he love her? Because he was poor and couldn’t give her all the things she deserved? She already had it. Because he was young, she thought him a child and incapable of love? Damn it she was far younger than he was when she first married. Not one of these reasons were valid excuses as to why he could not love her. However, it did confirm one thing for him. He had been right about Kat’s motives. When it came to him, she had been slumming all along.

Normally being used in such a manner would never faze him, but he had never expected to fall in love, and to be used and cast off by the one who held his heart was the worst pain he had ever experience. He would gladly experience that butcher doctor and being shot a hundred times over than listen to Kat say he was a fool for loving her.

“Don’t tell me I can’t love you. I know my own heart.”

“You’re just caught up in the moment.” She suggested. “Everything feels so nice you only think you love me.”

Zeke walked around the bed and took her hands in his. He looked her in the eyes. “Do you remember that night at the fair? When we were dancing under the stars, and I kissed you beneath the fireworks?” She smiled recalling the magical night as he did. “I didn’t say it, but I knew I loved you then.” His hand caressed her face. “I’m not confused. I’m not caught up in the moment. I love you; I want to know if you could love me too?” Zeke asked. If he gave her more time maybe she could grow to love him. “I know you believe in love.”

“I do, I believe that love is forever,” Kat said with a tear in her eye her gaze drifting to the nightstand. “And I have already given mine away.”

Zeke’s gaze followed hers to the nightstand where he saw a picture of Kat and her late husband. His emotions churned inside him. Anger, envy, jealousy, and pain all mixed into a huge lump in his belly. He had never met this man, but he had become Zeke’s worst enemy. The only thing standing between him and the woman of his dreams was a memory. If what she said was true. If real love was forever, then he had already lost her. “If that’s true then I’m doomed forever to be alone. Because you already have my heart.”

Kat touched his face, her fingers warm as she gently caressed his jaw. “You’ll love someone else.” She promised.

“No, I won’t. I would give up everything for you. If only you asked.” He swore, taking her hand and kissing it, but she pulled away. She was still resisting him.

“I can’t.” She breathed with tears in her eyes. “I can’t give you what you want. I’m sorry.”

Zeke’s heart was breaking, but he held back the hurt. Zeke didn’t want to make her feel worse than she did. He forced a smile and moved to leave. “I suppose then that there is no point in continuing this farce.” He said. “I predict that I won’t be able to change your mind about us.”

Kat reached for his hand and looked up at him. “Why can we not just enjoy one another like in Tennessee? Everything was simple then.”

“The rules were different then,” Zeke said. “We had a level playing field.”

Kat threw her arms around him. Her body clinging to his Zeke couldn’t help but put his arms around her too. Holding Kat against him, he never wanted to let her go. He wanted to hold her forever. “Please don’t leave like this. Stay, it might not be love,” she said staring into his eyes, “but it can still be something wonderful.” He knew he had to leave while he still had a shred of his dignity left. Then Kat looked up and her mouth crushed against his in a desperate, passionate kiss that stole the last of his self-respect. He was lost to this woman. He could deny her nothing. “Stay with me.” She breathed.

“Yes,” Zeke said giving in as they fell back against the bed. He held her close kissing her sweetly. Knowing it would never last, but he would do anything to see her smile. “Until they recall me I’m yours.” He said staring into her deep green eyes. “In every sense of the word.” When she smiled up at him, his heart ached because he knew he could not keep her.

***

Morning came and went, and it was near noon when Zeke dragged his weary body from Kat’s bed. He was alone when he woke. Kat had risen perhaps a bit more used to pulling late nights, and early mornings then he was. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, Zeke raked his fingers through his long hair and rubbed the stubble on his jaw.

His gaze drifted to the picture bedside. It was like David’s eyes were watching him. Like he knew from beyond the grave that another man was moving into his bed. Zeke reached out and pushed the picture face down. He stood up and walked over to the vanity where Kat had clipped the picture of them. She looked good in his shirt. The fact that she put the picture up somewhere personal filled Zeke with hope. Maybe she just needed convincing, or maybe he was kidding himself.

Zeke heard the door open and grinned. “You come back for more baby?” He said turning around. Zeke nearly jumped out of his skin when Beth smiled at him her dumpy arms filled with clothes. “Sweet niblets!” Zeke snatched the blanket off the bed and hastily tried to wrap it around his waist to hide his nudity and stumbled over the length of the blanket falling back over the corner of the bed and landing on the floor on the other side.

Clutching the tangled blanket around his waist, Zeke could hear the old woman laughing. Sitting up he peeked over the edge of the bed and watched as she put around the room sorting things out.

“Don’t be silly.” Beth teased. “I have taken care of this family and my own for over forty years. You have nothing I haven’t seen a million times.” She assured him as she laid one outfit after the next on the bed.

Uneasy Zeke climbed to his feet still keeping a death grip on the blanket. “Don’t you knock?”

“What for, you are in here alone?” Beth replied honestly not seeing the intrusion. “The bambina has gone out.”

“Kat’s gone out? Where?” He asked curiously.

“To break poor Mr. Farewell’s heart. She said something about not being the same breed.” Zeke smirked when he heard the good news. She was dumping the stuffed shirt. “I took it upon myself to find a suitable wardrobe for your stay in New York.” She said.

Zeke walked around the bed as she laid out one outfit after the other. Everything from casual to formal. Everything looked so very expensive perhaps worth more than he made in a year. “What am I gonna do with this?” He asked taking up the sleeve of a tailored tux.

“Mrs. Kat has tickets to the ballet tonight. Mrs. Eve is performing, and she will not miss it. You must dress appropriately.” Beth said handing Zeke a pair of designer jeans and a whine coloured button-up shirt. “This you can wear now.”

Zeke groaned. He didn’t want to go to the ballet. He would have to shave and clean up. He wasn’t good at that whole fru-fru thing. “I don’t suppose you can find me a razor and some shaving cream?” He asked.

“Already in the washroom waiting for you.” She said with a self-satisfied smile.

Zeke looked at the door that led to the connecting bathroom. “It’s not his razor is it?”

Beth smiled understanding his discomfort. “No, it is yours. Rolland picked it up when he went shopping this morning.”

“And the clothes?”

“General use, not David’s.” He was sleeping with the man’s wife but wearing his clothes would be too weird. “When you are ready to come down there is food waiting in the kitchen, help yourself.” Beth then left the room giving Zeke his privacy.

Zeke tossed the blanket aside and went into the washroom where he found the grooming supplies. The washroom was larger than his room back in Tennessee. It baffled him how Kat could be so used to all this and had enjoyed herself in that sleazy bar and that crummy cramped room. It said a lot that she could be comfortable anywhere. Zeke looked at his scruffy appearance and ran his hand over his jaw. The least he could do for her was clean up a little.

He lathered up his face and carefully dragged the razor along his jaw and neck removing the growth. He then rinsed his face and climbed into the shower. After scrubbing up, Zeke ran a brush through his long hair and tied it back to keep it tidy. There was a small bottle of cologne on the counter another gift from the servants. He had never put cologne on before and used it sparingly.

Zeke then dressed in the new jeans, minus the usual tears and holes he was used to, and the dress shirt. He left it untucked and rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. On the floor by the foot of the bed was a brand-new pair of boots clean and polished. Pulling them on Zeke checked his appearance once more in the vanity and then left the room.

He could hear life all over the house. He headed downstairs and, in each room, he saw someone doing something. There was a huge playroom where many of the young kids were playing. Farther down a game room with a pool table, foosball, air hockey and some other games. Zeke found his way to the kitchen and as promised food was waiting. A feast was laid out on the table and counters buffet style. There was more food than he had ever seen. Grabbing a sandwich, Zeke decided to explore a little more. Taking a bite of what had to be the best chicken salad sandwich he had ever tasted Zeke wandered down a set of stairs to the lower levels of the mansion.

There were narrow hallways and windows into each room. He wasn’t sure what he was looking at. Many of the rooms had chairs and expensive equipment. Various musical instruments and what looked like soundproofing on the walls. Mixing boards, huge speakers, and gold and platinum records mounted to the walls.

Farther down the hall Zeke heard music playing. Not rock but classical. He headed toward the open door and looked inside. Inside was a huge room with hardwood flooring and floor to ceiling mirrors across all four walls. Speakers were mounted in the corners, and a long waist-high railing was mounted on the far wall. It was a dance studio he realized.

Inside he saw a beautiful young dark-haired angle. Her hair pulled back tight in a bun, and her tiny firm dancer’s body wore black tights with a see-through silk skirt around her tiny waist with black ballet slippers on her tiny feet. She moved with such elegance and grace like she was gliding along the hardwood floor.

Zeke watched as she spun and pranced around the room. She had some talent if he remembered correctly, this young thing was Kat’s sister-in-law. Suddenly she noticed him and came to an abrupt stop. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Zeke said coming farther in. “I wasn’t staring. I was looking around when I noticed you. You’re very good.” He said wiping his hand on his jeans and offering it to her. “It’s Eve, right?”

Eve shook his hand with a sparkling smile. “Yes, and thank you. I have been dancing all my life and tonight will be quite the production. I’m a little nervous and thought I would practice a little.”

“I think you’ll do fine.” He said reassuring her in her talent. “What is all this, this whole level of the house I mean? It’s not like the rest of the house.”

He watched as Eve began to stretch bending and reaching one way and then the other. “The entire family is into the performing arts. Musicians, dancers, and so on. When David had the house built he added this level of in-house studios so they could practice, compose, coronagraph or anything else they may need to for professional use. It’s very handy; all the studios get a lot of use.” She said stretching her left leg way above her head and maintaining her balance. Zeke couldn’t help noticing just how incredibly flexible this woman was and thinking just how damn lucky Damien was to go to bed with her.

“Are you the only dancer?” He asked trying not to stare.

“No Alexander is a dancer too, but more into the hot-blooded Latin dances. You know the tango, the rumba and that sort of thing. He is really good you should see him move the man can set the stage on fire. Lucky Layla.” She snickered.

“Are you coveting other men darling?” A male voice drew their attention and Zeke watched as Damien walked into the room a bottle of water in his hand. He was a tall man with devilishly dark good looks and the same bright eyes his sister had. Only in his eyes, Zeke saw jealously as he walked by and kissed his wife.

“Of course, not darling I have my hands full with you I couldn’t handle another man.” Eve teased taking the water he offered. Damien stood close to Eve and kept his arm around her waist possessively. It was clear to Zeke he was perceived to be a threat. She was pretty but not Kat. “We were just talking about talent.” She said, clueless about the tension in the room.

“Oh, and what is your talent… Zeke is it?” Damien asked.

“I can hustle pool,” he grinned, “and drive like a demon. Nothing like you guys though.”

“We like pool, in fact, we got a pool table. Why don’t you come up and shoot a game with us guys?”

“Sure.” Zeke accepted and said goodbye to Eve. Damien walked Zeke back upstairs and led him to the game room.

“I’m going to tell you something right now that you need to understand if you’re going to be around here,” Damien said as they stopped outside the door. Damien looked into Zeke’s eyes with violence in his own. “We are all very possessive of our women. Tread lightly.” He warned.

“I assure you my interest is strictly in Kat.” Zeke tried to soothe his ire, but his words only furthered Damien’s annoyance with him.

“Yeah, about that. My sister has had a bit of a rough patch this past year, and she is very vulnerable. If you’re messing around with her heart, I will beat you to death with your cock.” Damien then smiled and opened the door. Inside the game room were the men from last night. The guys from Kat’s band, her father, son, and now brother. The only friendly face he saw was Alexander. Zeke suddenly regretted accepting Damien’s pool challenge.

Zeke played doubles teaming up with Alexander against Dane and Mike. He was impressed with how well they all could shoot. They posed a challenge. Zeke was leaning against the wall holding his stick and watching as Alexander lined up his shot when Dane came to stand beside him. Dane didn’t look at Zeke, but there was no question that he was speaking to him.

“My mom is a wonderful woman. Not a sugar mama. If you think for a second that you can swindle her I will cram this stick so far up your ass you will have to have it surgically removed.” Zeke couldn’t even reply before Dane casually walked away to take his shot.

Zeke looked across the room and saw Mike glaring at him with fatherly disapproval. The sort of look that said ‘hurt my baby girl - cop or not - I own a gun.’ Alexander came to stand beside Zeke and pat him on the back. “Relax buddy you look too tense.”

“I get the feeling everyone in here doesn’t like me too much.”

“That’s not true. They like you they don’t like you with Kat.” Alexander said. “They are all very protective of her.”

“I see that.” Zeke had stared down hardened killers, Columbian drug lords, men that would slit their grandma’s throat for a piece of rock and tweaked out crack heads that would rather gut you then look at you; but Mike Sanchez scared the hell out of him. God, he wished Kat were here to act as a buffer.