Lost (Book 6 of the Forbidden Series)

18

The receptionist announced Kat and a moment later the office door opened, and Keith stepped out into the outer office a huge smile on his face. “What a pleasant surprise.” He said kissing her cheek. “Please come in.”

“I hope you’re not busy. I would hate to intrude on you if you are.” She said following him into his office. There was a great view from his window, and the office was spacious but filled with shelves, books, and thick briefs stacked on his desk.

“You could never intrude. I was reading this latest brief and needed a break anyway.” He said leaning back on the corner of his desk. “To what do I owe this visit?”

Kat smiled awkwardly. She had decided this morning it was unfair to juggle both men and after the kiss, they shared it was painfully obvious to her the fire she needed was simply not there. Keith was a wonderful man, but when it came to sparks, he fizzled out.

“I wish I was here under more pleasant reasons,” Kat said nervously running her hand over her white slacks. “It is about Zeke.”

“The FBI agent?” She nodded, and Keith took a deep breath, a look of understanding washed over his face. “I was right about the way he was looking at you, and you have a thing for him?”

“I’m sorry. I never expected to see him again. But apart from that, I think we both know you, and I would never work out. I could never be the woman you need me to be. I can’t be a politician, and you’re no rockstar.”

Keith nodded and stood up a look of defeat on his face. “That is true. I’m sorry to see you go, but I understand. I appreciate you telling me now.” He looked hurt, but he was taking the news well, better then she had expected.

Kat reached into her purse and handed Keith a sizable cheque. “A campaign contribution.” She said as Keith took it. “You’re a good man, and you’re good for the city. I wish you the best of luck.”

He smiled and offered her a hug. “Thank you. If for any reason you ever need anything, please do not hesitate to call me.”

Kat walked out of that office with a smile. Keith was so understanding. She didn’t know if this thing with Zeke was worth it, but at lease Zeke understood her. Right now, she was looking for a little fun, the sort of fun Keith couldn’t give her.

***

Kat had a few errands to run while she was in the city and did not return to the estate until late afternoon. Damien and Eve had left long before she returned home having to be at the auditorium earlier than the rest of them. Kat was grateful to find that Beth had laid out her gown for the night saving her some time. Kat hopped into the shower quickly and then rushed around her room preparing. She pinned her long hair up in place and allowed the odd golden ringlet to hang down her neck and over her shoulder.

She slipped into the full-length soft peach gown Beth had placed on the bed. The hem of her gown dusted the floor even in her heels. A thick white satin belt tied around her narrow waist and Kat pulled the long white gloves on. Sitting at her vanity Kat chose her pearls from her jewelry box and a matching pair of dangling earrings. She dabbed a bit of perfume at her neck and stood up. Ready to go, she joined her guests downstairs.

They were all dressed fashionably in long elegant gowns and perfectly tailored tuxes. Dane was helping Nadia on with her silk wrap when Kat approached them. “Have you seen Zeke?” She asked wondering where he had gotten off too.

“He is having a drink out on the patio,” Nadia informed her. “He was waiting for you to come down.”

Kat strolled through the house and out onto the huge stone patio out back. She paused abruptly as she saw Zeke lounging in the plush patio chair. Zeke rose to his feet placing his drink on the glass table next to him. He was dressed like the others in a finely tailored tux. Complete with golden vest and cummerbund. A jewelled clip where a tie should have been the fabric draped his hard body in a flattering way that accented his male attributes. His face was cleanly shaven making him look even younger than he was. His long hair was brushed and pulled back neat and tidy. He was utterly stunning.

Zeke smiled as he looked her over. “You look breathtaking.” He said coming to her and kissing her lips.

“You clean up very well.”

“Thank you.” He grinned adjusting the cuffs of his black jacket. “I feel a little funny in this monkey suit, but I suppose I can’t go in jeans and leather.” Kat laced her arm with his and placed her hand on his forearm.

“Shall we go?” She said walking with him to the front of the house. Outside were two limos waiting to take the large group to their destination. The drivers got out and held the doors open as their passengers climbed inside. Zeke slid into the seat next to Kat as they rode to their destination with her parents and her children. Their friends in the limo that followed.

“I’ve never been in a limo before,” Zeke said with some excitement. “This thing is huge, and it’s got a bar.” He pointed out. It amused Kat to see how easily excited he got over things she had come to take for granted.

“Wait until we get there.” Layla laughed. “I hope you’re not camera shy.”

It was well publicized that Damian Sanchez’s young wife was staring in the performance that night and that her family would be in attendance. Whenever that many stars were in one public place at a time the paparazzi were always swarming. Zeke had no idea what he was in for.

When the limo pulled up to the front doors, Zeke was gawking out the windows at all the press being held back by security. There were microphones and cameras everywhere. The door opened, and the flashing lights almost blinded Kat as she stepped out after her mother. Zeke stepped out behind her, and the excessive flashes increased. The paparazzi frantic with the new face. A rakish young man on Kat’s arm.

“Smile dear, you’re about to be famous,” Kat said lacing her arm with his and smiling for the cameras.

“Is that a fact?” Zeke grinned as they posed for pictures. “If that’s the case what do you say we give them all something to talk about.” He said with a mischievous wiggle of his golden brows.

Kat looked up at Zeke and gasped when he pulled her hard against him and kissed her passionately in front of everyone. Her head spun, and her knees felt weak. Zeke held her up, and when his lips lifted from hers, she could barely breathe. “Well, now that should make the front page.” She breathed with a huge smile. Kat looked around at all the people yelling questions at them, and she took Zeke by the hand. “Let’s go inside before they break down the barrier,” Kat said dragging Zeke up the stairs and into the building. “You are scandalous.” She scolded. “You have no idea what you did out there.”

“I kissed you,” Zeke said as she pulled him aside from the other patrons.

“They’re going to be talking about that for weeks. The press is going to kill themselves trying to figure out who you are. You won’t be able to set foot near a window without someone trying to ask you questions and take your picture.”

Zeke toyed with one of her long ringlets and smiled a little less concerned then he should have been. “Relax kitten it’s not that big a deal.”

“Don’t call me that!” She snapped sharply causing Zeke to retract his hand in surprise. “Don’t ever call me that,” Kat repeated and stormed off to the ladies’ room.

***

Zeke stood silent and confused. Just moments ago, they had been enjoying themselves. Now Kat was furious with him. Why would a casual term of endearment invoke such an explosive negative response from her? She had reached a similar way in Tennessee when he had last called her kitten. It wasn’t an offensive term, and yet she reacted as if it were.

“Did I say something wrong?” He asked her father as Kat’s mother followed her to the ladies’ room.

Mike frowned with a heavy sigh. “Kitten is what David used to call her. If I were you, I wouldn’t call her that again.”

Zeke sighed. Once again, a memory had ruined their evening. “Can I ask your honest opinion?” Zeke said looking Mike in the eye. “Not as a father but as a man.”

“Alright,” Mike said casually.

“Do you think she can move on? Do you think Kat could fall in love again?”

Mike was silent for a long moment. “She will never love anyone the way she loved David. If that’s what you want, it’s never going to happen. I don’t care if you’re the best lover in the world you’re never going to replace the man she believed to be perfect all her life.”

Hopelessness consumed Zeke once more. Kat was never going to love him, and that truth weighed heavy on his heart. The harder he tried to earn her affections the more he drove a wedge between them. Nothing he said or did changed anything.

Mike showed Zeke to their balcony seat overlooking the audience below and the stage. The performance began, and still the seat next to him was empty. It was some time before Kat appeared in the box and took the seat beside him. She didn’t even look at Zeke when she sat down. They sat in silence watching Eve and the other dancers move gracefully over the stage. Zeke couldn’t concentrate as he kept glancing at Kat to see if she would look at him.

At intermission, the audience rose with applause and shuffled out to stretch their legs. Zeke took Kat’s hand and hung back in the box as the others left. The heavy dark curtain separating them from the now crowded halls fell closed, and they were finally alone. “Kat, please talk to me. I’m sorry I upset you.”

Kat sighed and ran her palms over her flat belly. “You did nothing wrong. I’m just a little touchy about certain things.”

Zeke took her hands in his and gazed into her eyes. “I love you so much. I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy. Only I can’t help but feel like you won’t let me.” She couldn’t even look at him as he spoke.

Kat pulled away and took her seat once more. “You do make me happy. More than you know, but I can’t forget him.”

“You don’t have to forget him,” Zeke said sitting beside her. He captured her chin between his fingers and forced her to look at him. “Just don’t let him come between us.” She went quiet once more. “I think we need some time alone.” He said when she did not speak. “Just me, you, and nothing on but a smile.”

Kat couldn’t help but chuckle at his brazen suggestion. “Soon, I promise my guests will go home in the next day or so. Then it will be just you and me.”

“And your servants?”

“They have their own house. I think they deserve some time off.”

***

The next two weeks Kat made the excuse of being gravely ill with the terrible flu that had been going around to avoid going out or receiving any visitors. She and Zeke had the entire estate to themselves. Of course, Beth and Rolland both knew the real reason Kat had locked herself away but over their decades in service of her husband they had learnt that confidentiality was of the utmost importance. Besides Kat had given them both the time off and the elderly couple had retired to their own spacious home on the far side of the estate, so Kat and Zeke were virtually alone.

They spent countless hours laying by the pool wearing nothing but a smile, kissing, and talking about everything. Zeke made her feel just like a kid again. When they were hungry, they cooked together. Kat had to admit, a lifetime with private cooks she had no idea what she was doing. However, Zeke seemed to have it well under control, once Kat had forgotten to put the top on the food processor before turning it on. The food shot out in every direction like the small machine was possessed.

Zeke laughed so hard at her with guacamole all over her and the kitchen. She didn’t find it funny at all. Kat scooped up a handful of guacamole and smashed it in Zeke’s face putting an end to his laughter and a start to her own. She squealed when he retaliated by throwing a hand full of shredded cheese at her, and a food fight broke out. Chasing one another around the kitchen each trying to get the upper hand. By the time he caught her from behind, they were both an absolute mess. All sorts of food were caked into their hair and staining her clothes. They were filthy, and the kitchen was trashed.

Zeke lifted her feet off the ground and spun Kat around. In those moments she saw the sparkle in his baby blue eyes. He had a way of making her crazy, of making her so carefree and happy. He seemed to understand her on a deeper level. Like he knew what she needed from moment to moment even before she did.

In the evenings they would kill time in the game room where Zeke spent hours teaching Kat how to make the trick shots he was so famous for. At times Kat would settle down with her guitar to play, and Zeke would do his best to sing along, often off key.

At night they lay in bed holding one another and talking about their childhoods. Their wild teenage ways. Kat would recount stories of raising her wild son or growing up with her notorious brother. What it was like to be mother and rockstar. They shared their dreams for the future, and Kat couldn’t imagine things ever changing. She couldn’t remember feeling this happy since David died.

At times her joy and contentment gave her pause for concern. Kat felt guilty; she felt as if she were betraying the memory of her beloved husband. Caring for Zeke felt so right at times and so wrong at others. She tried hard not to dwell on it. It would not last forever she would remind herself. The time would come when he would be called away and their time together would end once more. So long as she did not give her heart, she would not forget the man she had loved for so long. But she would not waste their time dwelling on what could have been, what should have been, what would never be. Life was too short, too precious to waste.

Then one day, while they were making supper and laughing over a story Zeke, was telling about a family football game where his older brothers tried to use him as the ball they heard ringing. At first, the sound was faint muffled by the sounds of their laughter. Then as they realized the ringing was coming from the cell in Zeke’s pocket, their laughter faded and the ringing grew louder. Soon there was no other sound but the sound of the ringing echoing through the kitchen.

They both looked awkwardly at the table. He had to answer it, and when he did, she knew what would come next. Good-bye, and the start to every sleepless night alone. The start of all her tears and the ache of her heart, a return to the loneliness and emptiness. Zeke reached his hand into his pocket and removed his cell phone. She watched him hold it to his ear. “Tucker.” He said answering his phone. There was a long silence, and his eyes fell on her. He looked so sad, and she knew this was the call. “I understand.” He said hanging up.

Zeke sighed and stared at her as if he were trying to find the words. “It’s time to go,” Kat said for him trying to smile while inside she wanted to cry. She didn’t want his leaving to be any harder for him than it already would be.

“Yeah, I got to go. The trial is scheduled, and I got to be in the courtroom.” He said casting his eyes down. There was something he wasn’t telling her.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“Court’s in session two days from now.” He said looking at her. “I got to leave now, and drive all night to get there on time.”

Kat felt like she had been slapped. Just like that, he was gone. A call and he was gone. Zeke could not even stay to finish dinner or spend the night and leave in the morning. He would just up and walk out the door. “So soon?”

“They are entitled to a speedy trial.” He said rising from his seat. Zeke rounded the table, and his hand touched her face coaxing her to look at him. She didn’t want to look at him; she didn’t want to say good-bye. “Kat look at me.” He whispered. She didn’t want to. “Baby please look at me.” She slowly turned her face, and her eyes met his. She saw all the love and all the agony he felt at that moment. “Tell me you love me and I will come back right after the trial.”

“You have a job to do.” She reminded him.

“I’ll resign.”

“And do what?”

“Flip burgers at McDonald's, I don’t care so long as it’s here with you,” Zeke said resting his forehead against hers. His lips threatened to kiss her good-bye. “Tell me you love me. Say those three little words and I’ll come back.”

She couldn’t say it; she couldn’t say she loved him. She didn’t want him to leave, she desperately wanted him to come back, but she couldn’t say the words he needed to hear. Kat swallowed back the pain she was feeling, and a tear rolled down her cheek. “I can’t.”

She expected his kiss, but Zeke pulled away. There was so much heartache on his face. “Then you won’t see me again.” He whispered, his words were like a knife in her heart. Zeke turned and walked away. Kat watched as he disappeared down the hallway. She listened to his heavy footsteps as he walked to the door and then she heard the door close behind him. Kat’s head dropped to her hands on the table as she cried. Each time he left it hurt more than the last. She couldn’t bear to see him again. It would likely rip her heart out.