A TRIBE CALLED JUADAH

A TRIBE CALLED JUADAH Chapter one Jedidiah, you’re a disgrace to this family. How will I, Reverend Simon Judah, face the congregation when they find out that my daughter is pregnant? Out of wedlock. My husband, please take is easy. Okay, let her go and stay with my sister in Kano. She can have the baby there. Don’t tell that, Jedidiah. Daddy…I disown you. (crying) Ah daddy please. I will bear my cross, 36years later. Mama Jedidiah: I soak and cover myself with the blood of Jesus. I soak and cover my children with the blood of Jesus. God will watch over you. You will not take a wrong step, by the Grace of God, the Lord will touch your heart. You will not miss your steps. It is well with you my children. Today will be successful in Jesus name. (drinking night changer). Mama Jedidiah: ah… Ejiro... it’s so fine (looking at the sons panting), hasn’t finished. He’ll meet me outside. My child is a good artist. Ah… today will be good. (greeting from the outside). Ah… mama j? good morning ma, good morning sir. Bisi: mama j. Mama Jedidiah: yes, Bisi. Bisi: young forever Mama Jedidiah: Ah-ah Bisi, you didn’t hail me well. Black don’t crack, what goanna be goanna be, there is nothing you can do about it? Joseph: mama j good morning ma. Mama Jedidiah: your joseph, nothing must happen to my tricycle. Can you see how I am taking good care of them? Joseph: yes, ma. Mama Jedidiah: take. Joseph: I promise I’ll never disappoint you. Mama Jedidiah: if you disappoint, you have a guarantor. Joseph: yes, ma. Mama Jedidiah: where is ejiro? Ejiro: I’m coming mummy. Mama Jedidiah: bisi, should we give you a ride? Bisi: don’t worry, my boyfriend is coming. Mama Jedidiah: Your boyfriend? {laugh} don’t you know men are scum? Bisi: my own is not a scum; Mama Jedidiah: I’m still bearing the brunt. Enter, before it starts raining! Bisi: don’t worry. Mama Jedidiah: I’ve said my own. {she drove with her son}. Another part of the story in section! Linda husband: Linda! Linda: yes! Linda husband: look, if you don’t tell me the person that gave you the money for you to start this nonsense pepper and tomato business, I’ll throw it away. Linda: what? Papa Linda: I will throw it away. Linda: you wouldn’t dare! Do you know I struggled to start this business? You’re telling me nonsense! You wouldn’t dare! If you try it, you would hate me! Linda husband: I WILL HATE YOU? Linda: you will hate me! Linda husband: I will hate you Linda! {scattering all the items} Linda: {screaming}{indistinct scatter}! Audience: do you want to kill her? Linda husband: you’re holding a graduate. Another section of the story mama Jedidiah driving a tricycle saw the both couple fight on the street and stop she Michael’s mother… I’ve always told her to stop fighting her husband. {she coming out of the tricycle}. Ejiro: mummy wait… Mama Jedidiah: I can’t wait! Ejiro: mummy wait! The person I want to deliver this painting to is also waiting! Mama Jedidiah: rushing toward their direction to stop the fight. I said you should stop fighting your husband what is wrong with you? Linda: Look at what he did to my goods! Mama Jedidiah: Michael’s, why? Linda husband: hey! Keep quiet. I’ll ask all the questions. Mama Jedidiah: Ah-ah? Mama Jedidiah: Your boyfriend? {laugh} don’t you know men are scum? Bisi: my own is not a scum; Mama Jedidiah: I’m still bearing the brunt. Enter, before it starts raining! Bisi: don’t worry. Mama Jedidiah: I’ve said my own. {she drove with her son}. Another part of the story in section! Linda husband: Linda! Linda: yes! Linda husband: look, if you don’t tell me the person that gave you the money for you to start this nonsense pepper and tomato business, I’ll throw it away. Linda: what? Papa Linda: I will throw it away. Linda: you wouldn’t dare! Do you know I struggled to start this business? You’re telling me nonsense! You wouldn’t dare! If you try it, you would hate me! Linda husband: I WILL HATE YOU? Linda: you will hate me! Linda husband: I will hate you Linda! {scattering all the items} Linda: {screaming}{indistinct scatter}! Audience: do you want to kill her? Linda husband: you’re holding a graduate. Another section of the story mama Jedidiah driving a tricycle saw the both couple fight on the street and stop she Michael’s mother… I’ve always told her to stop fighting her husband. {she coming out of the tricycle}. Ejiro: mummy wait… Mama Jedidiah: I can’t wait! Ejiro: mummy wait! The person I want to deliver this painting to is also waiting! Mama Jedidiah: rushing toward their direction to stop the fight. I said you should stop fighting your husband what is wrong with you? Linda: Look at what he did to my goods! Mama Jedidiah: Michael’s, why? Linda husband: hey! Keep quiet. I’ll ask all the questions. Mama Jedidiah: Ah-ah? Papa Linda: so, you have been taking my wife to sleep with different men for money, right? Mama Jedidiah: what? Linda: No! Mama Jedidiah: Linda. Linda: I just told him that you lent me money to start this business. Mad man. Mama Jedidiah: Ah-ah! Michael’s daddy, she’s telling the truth. I’m the one that lent her the money. She told me you’re always going out. Because you don’t have a job. Then I offered to lend her the money, she said she needed thirty thousand naira to start this small pepper business, and she will pay gradually. Linda husband: will you shut up! Shut up, your liar! Mama Jedidiah: Ah-ah! Linda husband: you’re a liar! Mama Jedidiah: you’re all here watching him beat his wife! Audience: he is a useless man! That’s how he behaves! Linda husband: {looking toward the person who insulted him useless man} you are the useless person! Mama Jedidiah: Where did you meet this mad man. Linda husband: Jedidiah… don’t you know that when a man is talking, you keep quiet as a woman? If you don’t stop talking, I will discipline you the same way I discipline my wife. Mama Jedidiah: who are you going to discipline? When you are not out of your mind… Real men don’t beat their women.They take good care of them. They provide for them. In turn, women respect their men. You are just a useless man. Look at me very well. The only thing that makes you a man is the one straw and two bags of pure water dangling under your trouser. Linda husband: are you not ashamed of yourself? Mama Jedidiah: why should i? Linda husband: are you not ashamed? You have five sons, from five different men. Mama Jedidiah: and so? Linda husband: from five different tribes in the country! Mama Jedidiah: and what about! Linda husband: wa-zo-bia-mo-boare are you not ashamed? Ejiro: daddy Michael’s! mind yourself! If you disrespect my mum, I will deal with you! Mama Jedidiah: yes. Linda husband: you will deal with me? Ejiro: yes! What will you do? Mama Jedidiah: what do you want to do? Ejiro: we shall see. Linda husband: I will deal with you! Mama Jedidiah: don’t worry. We shall see. Linda husband: I will deal with you! Another section of the story Ejiro the last born of mama j. children called all his brother’s starting from the first to the 4th born. Emeka: Ejiro, what’ sup? {on call}, what… where? I’m coming there now! Emeka Judah 35 years old. 1st son of Jedidiah Judah. Adamu: Ejiro, Mummy! What happened? Where? Pluto, please come take over. Adamu Judah 32year old 2nd son of Jedidiah Judah. Pluto: I am eating. Where are you going Pere: what? Mummy. I am coming {horn blaring, criminal. Stealing someone wallet} Pere Judah 30years old 3rd son of Jedidiah Judah. [ongoing commotion] Shina: Hello last child, why are you disturbing me? What? Where? [ongoing commotion on street] olu Judah, 27years old 4thson of oluwashina Judah Judah Emeka: Where is he? Adams: you call yourself a man right? Pere: come outside, my brothers and I just want to have a conversation with you. Shina: [bottle smashes] {screaming} come out! [indistinct commotion] if I don’t stab you today, my name is not shina! [indistinct commotion]. Linda husband began to run for his life, they all chase after them. Ejiro: Ejiro Judah 25years old 5th son of Jedidiah Judah {poured Linda husband bucket of water}. He fell down, they gathered him, beating him helplessly. Linda: Mama Emeka’s, please… Mama Jedidiah: what? Were you not there when he disrespected me? Linda husband: [shouting and screaming] Mama Jedidiah: shina! Pere! Let’s go! Emeka, and Adamu let’s go. Linda husband: [groans] they’ve killed me. Chapter two Did daddy Michael’s tell lie? It’s the truth it’s not like I was sleeping around with different men, you see Emeka, I had him when I was 17 seventeen years old. I was young and in love with kalu.I got pregnant and kalu relocated. Along the line, I met sanni, the father of my second child, Adamu he took me to his family, they said I can’t marry him because I am from the Yoruba tribe and I already have a child. Sanni was also betrothed to someone else in Kano state. That’s how I was shoved aside. Then I met Boma, Pere’s father. He performed the necessary rites to make me his wife. A year after Pere was born, Boma died, [exclaims in pity]this is bad, so heartbreaking. [relishes] it’s not yet bad, my fourth partner is shina’s father. Lekan isiaka. A.K.A Swanky. He was my children’s home tutor. A handsome young man. I thought to myself “I need a father figure for my boys”. We had an introduction ceremony got married and he became the father of my children. A year after shina was born he ran away with all my money.He left with everything Pere’s father left behind for me. He took it all and went to Ibadan. He has a family there. {grasps] yes. I went back to square one with four children. Now to my fifth partner my experience with him was shameful. {relishes} but I will say it. I met Ejiro father in abeer parlor. I was very depressed so I started drinking. I would always go to the beer parlor and have drinks with him. In the process we became intimate. He was also depressed because his wife left him.I didn’t bother telling him I got pregnant for him.In everything, I will not bury myself. Despite the circumstances, I’m very proud of my children. They’re Jedidiah five boys. Judah’s, and I’m proud of them. Hmm? Linda: mama Caro. I will be on my way. Mama Caro: Yes. Linda: Mama j. please the money you lent me, I will work hard and repay you Mama Jedidiah: okay? Don’t worry, you can pay back as soon as you have it everything will be alright, take care. Mama Caro: my regards to your children. Bye Linda: bye. Mama Caro: mama Emeka take it easy, this is too much. Mama Jedidiah: you think I’m drunk? Mama Caro: you’re not drunk. Mama Jedidiah: no… {singing and dancing, laughing} Mama Jedidiah mother-in-law arrived from a journey, coming toward the house to see her daughter-in-law. Welcome Grandma. Thank you my child. Grandma: shina! Shina: ma? {smoking and running upstairs} Grandma: come back here. Ah-ah Shina: ah! Grandma welcome! Grandma with the best okpa! Nobody dares come close! I hope you brought gift? Grandma: from the minute I smelt that nonsense out there, I knew it had to be you. Shina: it’s not what you think ma. Grandma: I just pray that thing you smoke will not destroy your lungs. Shina: Amen! In Jesus’ name! Grandma: carry this beg upstairs, let’s go up. Quickly! Grandma: Jedidiah. I am not happy with what is going on. Can you see your boys? They’re useless. Look at Emeka. I brought him up. Well brought up child. Or is it Adamu? He was brought up by my sister Mary-jane in Kano. They’re both top-notch, but these two! Nonsense. {referring to Pere and Shina} Mama Jedidiah: mama, they are my children. From Emeka, to Adamu, to Pere, to Shina, to Ejiro. They are my children. If it is because of daddy Michael [referring to Linda husband]. He got what he deserves. Grandma: Jedidiah, allow your mother-in-law, to help you. I will take these two back with to Aba. When they see discipline, they will change. Shina: Never! I cannot go to Aba. When I am not venturing into a thrift business. Are you kidding me? Grandma: can you hear him? Pere: grandma me too. What do I want to do in Aba? With all these swag, I will now go to Aba. Mama Jedidiah: will you shut up? Excuse me, both of should go inside. Grandma: did he say swag? Mama Jedidiah: I said go inside. Mama please, just take it easy with them. Grandma: Jedidiah you are the one spoiling these boys. You are indulging them. Mama Jedidiah: mama, I’m not. please let me go and get something to eat….and drink… What do you want to eat? Another section of the story: it’s were Emeka is working C&K FURNITURE. Elvina: ma? Collate: yes? Elvina: ma, we have thirteen of these. Collate: Get the calculations right… Are you deaf? Elvina: I heard you, ma. Collate: and you couldn’t answer. Elvina: I know them ma. Collate: like agama. It’s this mop on your head that’s blocking your ears, you’re calling it human hair. Get out of here! Elvina: morning sir! [greeting her boss]. Chairman: morning. Collate: good morning sir. Chairman: yes. Emeka: Mpa chigozie. Welcome sir. Chairman: Emeka. Emeka: sir? Chairman: come. What is it? Do you want to attack me? Emeka: no sir, Chairman: then why?Are you a he-goat? Emeka: no sir. Chairman: a tall handsome man like you should know to always use a deodorant. Your stench is overwhelming. Emeka: I am sorry sir. Chairman: please leave! Collate: I always tell him. He doesn’t listen. Chairman: collate. Collate: sir? Chairman: bring the Alaba report. Collate: okay sir. Nwba-baby: [calling chairman]. Chigozie pick you call. Oga take it easy. Those things are expensive. Ugonna move closer, why are you fidgeting? Ugonna: I’m recording them. Nwa-baby: hello? Chairman: Nwa-baby. Nwba-baby: Don’t babying me!I’ve been calling you since, you refused to pick your call. Chairman: My phone has been on silent,you understand. You know I don’t like to hear my phone ring when I’m at work. I don’t want that. What matter? Nwa-baby: baby, it’s the financial crime task force officials. They are here. They have been searching and scattering everywhere. Chairman: what is it? What are they looking for? Do they have a Search warrant? Nwa-baby: yes, they came with a search warrant. Chairman: