Craved

Isaac POV. Every day when I parked my car, I would look up at her window and hope that her light would be on, or if I waited long enough maybe it would. Some days I hope that she’ll come to the window as if she was waiting for me to come home. Her window was above our parking space, not far from the kitchen window.  Fuck, I missed her.  She said that she needed space, so she was going to live with Maddie for a little bit. I’m glad she has Maddie, but some days I wish that she had nowhere to go so that she’d have to stay at home… with me. I hated how selfish that sounded, but someday it felt like she was the only one who could cure my cravings.  I slept whenever I wasn’t doing anything else; probably because I saw her in my dreams sometimes. She would always look the way she did in the first dream. Long brown waves of hair and a halo on top of her head. I always thought she was glowing, but in the dream, she was vibrant… almost blinding, and I would wake up needing to blink away the light.  Burney would constantly comment on how I looked like a zombie at dinner, so I stopped eating meals with them. I told Emmet to get pizza for dinner so that I could at least eat alone.  I figured that surely Alison hasn’t affected me as much as I thought, but before I stepped into the shower, I looked in the mirror.  I was stark naked, staring at a face that was hardly recognisable.  Hollow cheeks and dark crescent moons dipping underneath my eyes.  I really did look like a zombie.  I dragged myself in the shower. It looked a lot like Alison’s, but it was on the other side of the house.  I pressed my forehead against the wall, letting the water cascade down my back.  I missed having her body in the shower with me. Missed having her lavender scent everywhere. Missed feeling her body, coated in soap.  I could feel my d**k twitch, demanding as always.  I wrapped my hand around my length, closing my eyes as I did.  Fuck, she has no idea how many times I have f****d my hand imagining it was her.  My body needed her, wanted her, craved her.  My breathing was deep as I began panting. My thighs began to tighten as I thought more and more of Alison.  I began working my hand against myself, imagining Alison, her curves and her soft skin. Her mouth wrapped around me, taking me deep into her mouth. I thought about the first time I made love to her. She was so warm, always is so warm and wet. Christ, she was the sun and I felt like Icarus, flying too close.  I remembered f*****g her in Last Words, how desperate she was to let me pause inside of her, thrusting into her slowly.  I moaned softly with my mouth wide open, finding my release as I came in my hand.  “f**k,” I groaned softly, punching the wall in front of me.  I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.  I loved her so much.  By the time I finished drying and got dressed, I left the bathroom, heading into the living room. I was about to sit on the couch when the front door opened.  “Emmet, did you get the pizza like-” I tried to say, but as I looked up, Alison stood in the doorway.  She wore those tight black denim jeans that shaped her hips deliciously and a lavender long sleeved top. Her hair was down, in her natural curls, shaping her face.  She held onto the handle of her luggage as if that would keep her from falling.  She looked just as good as the first time I saw her.  I stood frozen in place with the wind completely knocked out of me.  She is so beautiful.  “Hi,” she said, softly. Her voice was full of nerves and I could see her chest moving up and down quickly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you I was coming back, but I just-” Without controlling myself I pushed myself forward towards her, taking her face in my hands and crashing my lips onto her.  The past few weeks have been death without her, and this was like taking a fresh breath of air after drowning for weeks.  I crashed so hard into her, backing her up against the front door, slamming it closed. She tasted terrific. I pushed my tongue into her mouth, tentatively stoking her own and feeling my d**k harden. I pressed my body against her, feeling her soft moan in my mouth when I pressed my hard-growing d**k up against her.  Yes, baby, feel me. Feel how hard you make me. Feel how desperately I need you. Feel how desperately I crave you.  “f**k, Angel,” I whisper against her lips.  One of my hands clutched at her jaw, tipping her head up so I could taste her more.  I hiked up one of her legs, pushing it higher to my wasted so I could push my hips and press against her in her most sensitive spot.  I desperately wanted to be buried there. Unable to control myself, I began pulling her shirt up, putting my hands against her smooth stomach. I worked my way down, unbuttoning the button on her jeans and pulling down the zipper, feeling her shake when I did. I pressed my hips against her yet again, listening to her soft moans.  Just as I was about to push my hand into her pants, she grabs my wrists firmly.  “Stop,” she whispers, and puts her hand on my chest, pushing me away.  We were breathing heavily, the both of us breathing extremely heavy, trying to catch our breath.  I held my hands against the wall beside her head. We both kept our heads together, breathing in the air that the other let out.  God, I wanted her so badly.  “Sorry,” I whispered back to her. After a few more moments of staying frozen together, I pulled away.  “It’s… it’s fine,” she says, trying to find the right words. I scanned her face. Her cheeks were reddening, a soft blush shadowing across her cheeks. I knew that my eyes would have been filled with so much love looking at her and it concerned me to have her know that. I looked away from her, brushing my hair back off of my forehead.  “How… how are you?” I asked, finally.  She chuckles. She begins adjusting herself, looking how she looked when she first walked through the door.  “What?” I ask, a little nervous as to why she was laughing.  “You practically jump me and now you’re asking me how I am,” she says, still laughing.  “Yeah, I guess I am.” I brush my hair back, again. Seeing her smile made the corner of my mouth twitch in response.  After a few seconds of silence looking at each other, she finally spoke.  “I’m great.”  “Are you hungry? Thirsty?” I ask. I would get her anything she asked for.  “No, I’m fine, thank you.”  She was looking at my face intensely, which was making me even more nervous. I kept my eyes down casted, too embarrassed to meet her stare. She was assessing me, no doubt seeing the zombie appearance that everyone else did.  She reaches a hand out and cups my face, her thumb lightly brushing underneath my eye and my eyes flutter until they close.  “You haven’t been sleeping,” she states. I look up at her now, desperate to see the concern that I could hear in her voice.  Her eyebrows were pulled together and her eyes were glassy. She knows that I struggle to sleep without her now and the evidence is all etched on my face.  “I’m sleeping fine,” I lie. I don’t want her to worry about me. I want her to focus on herself and then us.  She draws her hand away and I watch as a defeated look crosses her face.  I knew that the conversation was ending, but as always, I was desperate to keep her talking. To keep her around me.  I looked at her small suitcase next to her.  “Are you staying?” I asked, keeping my eyes on her suitcase. “For now,” she nods her head and I want to scream. I wished she would stay always.  “I’ll let you get settled in,” I said. I took a couple steps back away from her, keeping my eyes anywhere but at her. I didn’t want to overcrowd her. If staying away from her was what will make her stay, then that is what I would do.  In the time she was gone, I didn’t go to Last Words or the Red. I knew she needed time away from me to think and even though it killed me to stay away, I did.  Just as I turn on my heels to head back to my room, I heard Emmet enter in through the door.