Craved

Chapter 3.

Alison POV. 

Emmet walked through the door balancing two pizza boxes in one of his hands. 

“Hey.” 

“Hi,” he responds warily, frozen at the door. His eyes are scanning the room and he looks toward Zac and Burney’s corridor. 

“Does Zac know you’re back?” he asks and there’s a harsh tone to his voice. 

“I just saw him…” 

“Good,” he says, closing the door. He walks towards the table and puts the pizza’s down. His shoulders were set, and I knew he was mad at me. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was coming back,” I tell him.

He sighs heavily. “You shouldn’t be sorry about that.” 

“Then what are you mad about?” I ask. 

“You left. You left without letting a single one of us know where you were going,” he says, and his voice is harsh. His positions his body so that he is facing me. 

“Em, I didn’t-”

“We got back home to find some of your stuff missing. We didn’t know where you went to, Alison. You could have gone back to that shithole of a house you used to call home” 

“I would never go back there.”

“Well none of us knew where you were!” he began raising his voice. “I didn’t know where you were and more importantly Zac didn’t know where you were… he was f*****g panicking, Alison.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen.” 

“Just be thankful for Maddie for messaging Zac, otherwise we all would have been on the street combing it to see if you’re in a gutter dead or something.” 

“Don’t be dramatic,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I was fine, I just needed space.”

“Well next time can you at least let your best friend f*****g know where you are!” he raises his voice slightly higher and I could see his chin wobble. 

“I am sorry, Emmet. I wasn’t thinking… I just needed to leave,” I confess. I spoke in a soft and soothing tone and I watch his composure come undone. 

He takes a couple stride towards me and wraps his hands around me. 

“I missed you, Kiddo,” he says, and I can hear his heartbeat.

“I missed you, and again, I am sorry…” 

“I know, just don’t do it again.” 

After parting I take my things to my room and begin unpacking while Emmet sat on my bed and ate one of the pizzas. 

“Did you know?” I asked with an all-knowing look. He knew what I was talking about. 

“Yeah,” he says, looking away as if he was ashamed. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask. 

“It’s not my secret to share,” he states with a shrug.

“I respect that and completely understand, but this is the second time, Emmet that you knew something about Zac… to warn me about…” I couldn’t put it into words.

“You’re trying to say that I should have told you what you are being warned about,” he fills in the blanks for me. 

I nod my head in response. 

“Of course, I wanted you to know, Ali.” He begins shaking his head. “But, they’re not my secrets to share.” 

“I suppose there’s a very fine line between being a good friend for everyone,” I shrug. 

I knew he was doing what was best. He wanted to do right by everyone. He wanted to protect me along with Zac’s secrets and I completely understood it, but it doesn’t I like it. 

After reflecting over my final words, I finally asked the question that has been worrying me for two months. 

“How is he?” 

He takes a deep breath in, taking his time to find the right words. 

“He misses you… a lot,” he finally says. 

“How is his sleeping?” I ask, which was my main concern. 

“Not great, but he’s sleeping more now than what he used to…” his words fade and there’s something that he’s hiding. 

“Tell me everything,” I say. I can handle it… or at least I would try to. 

He sat silent on my bed for a second too long. 

“Was he with someone else?” I ask, panic evident in my voice and I felt as if I was beginning to hyperventilate imagining him with someone else. 

“No, not like that…” he says and takes another deep breath. “He’s been having… nightmares,” he finally confesses. 

“How bad?” I ask. A flash of the purple shadows under his eyes comes to mind and I want to cry. 

Emmet only responded by giving me a look that gave away the answer. 

His nightmares were bad. 

“Do you know what they’re about?” I ask, hoping that maybe Zac would have confided in Emmet, but Emmet shakes his head. 

“I can hear him sometimes in the middle of the night… or very early in the morning… and then he will get up and you can hear the TV.” 

Again, we drifted into silence, the both of us reflecting over our conversations.

I imagined myself running into his room and holding him, letting him know that everything was okay now that I’m bad, even though it really isn’t. I wanted him to be happy even if it meant that I was unhappy, because that’s a sacrifice I would do for him. 

“Love sucks,” I murmur. 

“Tell me about it,” Emmet says, and he rips off the crust of his pizza with his teeth. 

“Will you stay?” he continues, after swallowing the piece. Such a simple question with so many possibilities. I wanted to stay forever, to stay with my best friend and the love of my life. I truly did, but not when everything was so complicated. Maybe I could stay… if everything resolved itself out, but I didn’t want to give myself false hope. There was nothing more I hated than having my hope shattered. I knew when I was entering into the house that I would stay until I was able to find a place that I could afford. 

I nod my head. “As long as I can, I suppose.” 

“You’re looking for other places, aren’t you?” 

I nod my head again. He knew me well.

“I’ll see how we handle everything.” Everything being that if Zac and I could get along not being together. “I’ll look at other places and if I find somewhere, then I’ll go.” 

I promised myself that I have to get out of here, no matter what happens between Zac and myself. I have earned myself enough money now that I should be able to find somewhere to live by myself. 

“Okay,” he says, nodding his head. “I’ll help in any way that I can.” 

He gets up from my bed, holding the almost empty pizza box now in one hand and wraps the other hand around me.

“It’s good to have you back,” he says against my hair. Once we part, he begins moving to my bedroom door. 

“Oh Emmet?” I call out to him before he can leave. “Could you keep the information about me moving out to yourself? I don’t want the others to know just yet,” I said. 

“Of course, Kiddo,” he smiles a forced smile and I replicate it back. 

That wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. As soon as my bedroom door was closed, I pressed my forehead against the door and took a deep breath. 

This past year was already so chaotic, from moving, to falling in love, to finding out everything about him and what he was hiding, everything that happened in the year was because of him.