Craved

Chapter 4.

Alison POV. 

I showered quickly, using the last of my shampoo and conditioner in my hair. After I showered, I went straight to my room and dressed in an oversized top and comfortable laced underwear. 

I was exhausted, both mentally and physically. I was in way above my head and now I felt like I was drowning.

I really didn’t know what to do with myself anymore. This hurt… Love hurts, and I don’t think I was ever expecting it to hurt this much. 

I remembered his body on mine when I first arrived, his sweet, intoxicating smell and the way he always makes me feel good. I rest my head back on the pillows, a massive headache pressing against my right eye. I sat in the dark reminiscing on the way he made my whole body come alive for the first time in two months. 

I don’t understand how anyone could love someone like this. As always, it scared me. It made me panic and feel as if there was a massive weight on my chest. 

Could I still live here? Could I still continue living here if by some miracle I could forgive Zac? I felt it would still be best if I lived on my own… for the time being. 

I would never want Zac to leave my life completely. He was a permanent fixture on my life now and I don’t think I would be able to get rid of him, even if I wanted to. He was engraved in me. 

I don’t think I would ever be able to love someone else the way I do him.

I close my eyes, letting a couple tears fall down my temples. I tried to let sleep submerge me and drown me whole, the thoughts of his lips on mine keeping me company as I drift off. 

My slumber is shattered when a cry erupts, and I sit up in my bed. 

Did I imagine that?

My heart was pounding against my chest. Being woken so abruptly… 

Another cry pierced my soul and I’m on my feet, running to where the sound was coming from. Zac’s room. 

It was a nightmare. 

Every hair on my body was standing to attention. 

I stop outside of his room, my hand on his doorknob. 

There was no sound coming from inside his room. I was breathing heavily, no doubt my sprinting across the house woke everyone else up. 

As I waited patiently, trying to hear him in the room, the door opens, and Zac was standing there holding himself up against the door. 

“f**k, Angel, did I wake you?” he says, in an exhausted voice. “I’m sorry.” 

His t-shirt is visibly drenched in sweat and he stood in front of me as if he was defeated in some way. 

I grabbed his hand, leading him back towards his bed. Even in the pitch-black night, I could still navigate us around the room and find his bed. 

“What are you doing?” He asks. 

“Shh, just sleep with me, please.” 

I kneel on his bed, dragging him from behind me when he stops just before his bed. 

“Don’t do this because you pity me,” he says defensively, and I’m sure if it was daytime, he would be able to see the annoyed look on my face. I still held his hand in my own as I kneel on his bed, waiting for him. 

“I’m not doing this out of pity!” I say and I’m sure there was enough annoyance in my voice to get my point across. “You’re tired, I’m tired, so can we please just sleep?”

He hastily kneels on his bed and I pull him the rest of the way from his hand. 

“Wait!” I tell him, kneeling in front of him as he does the same. 

Ever so slowly I reach for the hem of his shirt and pull it up.

“What are you doing?” He says, pulling back. 

“Taking off your shirt, obviously,” I said with sarcasm dripping from my voice. 

“Yes, but why?” 

“Because you’re drenched in sweat,” I tell him. 

Once his shirt was off a chill ran over me. He helped me take off his shirt the rest of the way and his clock on his nightstand provided what little light to see the outline of his body. Now, he was half naked, kneeling on his bed with me, also half naked, doing the same. 

How easy it would be just to reach out to him, and feel him…

“Let’s get some sleep,” I say, looking away from him. I shuffled underneath his covers and listened to him do the same beside me. 

His smell was intoxicating in this room. I felt like crying just from how much I had missed it. I faced away from him, trying to resist temptation, and instead curled his blankets underneath my chin, taking a deep breath in to savour his smell.

I hear him sigh loudly beside me, shifting into another position. 

“Are you okay?” I ask, whispering. My back was facing toward him, but I could feel his eyes on me. 

“I’ll be fine,” he says. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask. I wasn’t too sure what to do in this type of situation, but for him I would do anything. 

“It was just a bad dream,” he brushes me off. 

I turn over onto my back, turning my head to look at his shadowed side profile. 

“What was it about?” I ask and patiently wait for his response. I hear his heavy breathing beside me as he tries to decide what he’ll say.

“I don’t want to talk about it just yet,” he finally says, when I thought he may have not heard my question. 

“Well, I’m here if you ever do want to talk about it,” I say, then without thinking, move closer towards him, turning onto my other side to face him completely. With confidence, I rest my head against his chest and then drape my arm around his torso. 

I was worried that maybe this isn’t what he wanted, or that he doesn’t want me to do this right now, but then he wraps his own hand around my arm and buries his head into my hair, inhaling deeply. He rests his own head against mine, leaning his body further into me. 

“Be honest with me?” I whisper. 

“Always,” he responds. 

“How bad are the dreams?” I ask, and I feel his whole-body freeze. 

Again, he doesn’t respond for a long time, processing what I had asked him. 

“They’re bad,” he whispers, and buries his head next to mine again.

“Bad enough that you’re not sleeping,” I state the obvious. 

I tilt my head up and am met with his down turned face, looking at me. I cup his cheek, letting my fingers caress his soft skin and my thumb to lightly trace over the dark shadows underneath his eye. I tilt my face up further until my nose touched his. 

“I will always be here for you,” I whisper, pressing on his cheek a little firmer. 

His hand rose until his finger curled around my wrist, holding it against his face and I hear him take a rigid breath in.

“I am here for you,” I rephrase. 

One tilt up from my chin and my lips were on his, lightly taking in his bottom lip and sucking it. As soon as my lips touched his, a spark ignited throughout my body, like it was waking up from years in slumber. 

I parted from him, keeping my body close to his. I lifted myself up to press my lips lightly on his temple. 

“Get some sleep now,” I said, softly. 

I positioned myself back against his body, wrapping my body around his, and his body to me. 

Not soon after, I felt his body relax against mine, and fell asleep to his gentle snoring.