Craved

Chapter 5.

Alison POV. 

For the past two months, in my dreams, I woke up warm, too warm, but now it was a reality. 

I lay on my side, with a warm body compressed to my back. Zac was pressed up against me. One of his legs was in between mine, acting as a barrier between my two thighs. His hand wrapped around my torso, underneath my shirt and curled between my breasts until his hand sprawled against my chest. 

His blankets were at our feet, our own body heat keeping us warm.

He fit against me perfectly, as if our two bodies were made for each other, to fit together in perfect harmony. I had missed his warm body against mine, especially the feel of his skin on mine. 

I looked at his clock on his bedside table, the hands showing that it was almost midday. I move as slowly as I could to get a good look, but he stirs behind me. 

I hear him groan unintentionally as he wakes up. He shuffles his body closer to my own, breathing in a heavy breath. 

“Good morning,” I say, softly. 

“What time is it?” he says, groggily. 

“Almost twelve,” I said.

“I haven’t slept in this late for a long while,” he states and small swell of pride filters through my chest. “Thank you,” he says. 

“I’m glad I could help.” 

His hand moves against my chest, curling in tighter against one of my breasts and I gasp softly. I especially missed the feeling of his hands on my body. He freezes as he realises what he’s doing. 

“Oh s**t, I’m sorry,” he fumbles, removing his hand quickly from underneath my shirt, making me laugh. He moves his body back, until he is lying flat and I turn my body around to face him. 

“It’s fine, really,” I tell him, still laughing. 

“God, I missed that sound,” he says, keeping his eyes closed. 

I trace my finger over one of his closed eyes, trailing it down to his cheek. 

“How did you sleep?” I asked, drawing my finger away. 

“Great, thank you,” he says. 

I sit up, looking down at him beside me. 

“What?” he asks. 

“You know this can’t happen again,” I state. 

“It’s not like we did anything bad,” he says. 

“I know, but it can’t happen again.” 

“Why not?” he asks, sitting up to be levelled with me. 

“Because I’m meant to be distancing myself from you,” I answer honestly. 

“Why?”

“Honestly,” I pause for a moment, sighing. “Because whenever I’m around you, my judgement is clouded, and I need to think clearly… about us.” 

“I’m not the one to jump into my bed,” he jokes, and I push him, making the both of us laugh. 

“This isn’t a joking matter,” I say, looking away from him. 

I thought about the two months that have passed and how much pain I went through. Then, I thought about the first time I saw him and how he didn’t look like himself, how the hollowness underneath his eyes completely crushed me. Emmett told me that he had been through hell and to make joke of all the pain that the both of us went through, just didn’t make sense. 

“I know,” he says, softly. 

“In all seriousness, we do need to talk about us,” I say. 

“About?” he says, turning away from me. 

“What we’re going to do about us.” 

He looks at me, sitting silently. 

“You never came to the Red or Last Words in the past two months,” I explain, and watch as he nods his head. 

“Why?” I continue, needing answers. 

“I thought it was what you wanted, for me to stay away?” he almost asks. 

“Yes,” I say in an almost whisper, nodding my head. “Space is good.” 

“Do you still love me?” he asks abruptly, and I’m shocked by the confidence in his question.

“Yes,” I respond too quickly. 

I don’t think I would ever stop loving him, couldn’t even fathom it. 

“Well I love you, and there’s nothing more to really say about it,” he shrugs. 

“It’s not that simple,” I state.

“It is for me, Angel,” he turns his body, sitting on his knees in front of me. 

“Look at me,” he says. He grips the sides of my face and I look up to meet his beautiful blue eyes. “I’m itfor you and I know that because you’re itfor me. There will be no one else apart from you, Alison. I love you so much.” He shakes his head. “I couldn’t imagine a future without you.” 

“Stop,” I warn, pulling his hands away from his wrists. “It’s too much… Thisis too much, Zac.” 

“Stop being so afraid of how you feel for me. I know you love me just as much as I love you, so what’s the problem” 

Tears threaten my eyes. 

“I don’t trust you,” I answer honestly, a tear betraying my cool composure. 

He pulls away from me, a look of defeat on his face. 

“I don’t trust you with anything,” I continue, now all the tears fell down my face. “most importantly, I don’t trust you with my heart…”

“So what? You’re ending it now to save you from what? From allowing yourself to love me? That’s stupid, Ali.”

“Saving myself from heartbreak that I know will destroy me,” I justify.

He shakes his head again. 

“So, what are we going to do?” he asks. 

“I don’t think there is anything that we can do.” 

“That’s bullshit, Alison!” 

“I can’t be with you just yet,” I confess. 

He sits back away from me, running his fingers through his hair. 

“I know nothing I will say will change your mind, but know that I will always love you, and protect you, and be there for you… waiting for you when you change your mind,” he says and then he grips my face again, forcing his lips onto mine. 

It is such a primal kiss, full of want and need, from the both of us. Desire explodes through me and I moan against his mouth from the shock. 

In this moment all of the angst and heartbreak of the two months, dissipates. 

He breaks off the kiss, panting and I do the same, trying to drag precious air into my lungs. 

“I need to shower,” he says, completely parting from me and getting off the bed. 

I watch him exit the room, my whole body slackening from the lack of his presence. 

I soon follow after him, wiping at my face when I exit his bedroom door, I look up and see Emmett entering in his room. 

He stops and stares at me, his all telling face, revealing his thought. He was questioning what I was doing in his room. 

“It’s not what you think,” I tell him, walking towards him and then past as I walk to my room. 

“What am I thinking?” He asks, following after me. 

“It’s not that.” I point my finger at him in warning. 

“I saw him walk out slightly earlier and then there’s you walking out too,” he says, following me into my room. “And you’re dressed like that,” he points to what I’m wearing. 

“It’s my PJ’s,” I note. “What I sleep in.” I express the word ‘sleep’. “All we did is sleep.” 

“He woke you up?” 

I nod my head in response. 

“You didn’t mention his nightmares were that bad,” I say, getting my clothes ready for work tonight. 

“I figured you would find out for yourself.” 

“Yeah well, he hasn’t slept properly in two months.” 

“Did he tell you what is giving him nightmares?” he asks. 

“No,” I say. 

“Well s**t,” he exclaims and that was the understatement of the year. 

“Just don’t play any games with him,” he warns. 

“Don’t play any games with him?” I repeat his words and laugh. “It’s funny that you think I’m the one capable of these types of games.” 

“You are the biggest flirt,” he says, and I roll my eyes. 

“What Zac and I have, goes way beyond flirting, Em,” I say with a stern voice. “So, stay out of it,” I warn. 

“Down girl,” Emmett says, holding up his hands as if he were surrendering. “Just be careful.” 

“Always am,” I say. “I have to get ready,” I tell him and that was his cue to leave my room.