My Ruthless Alpha

Dance party

Jazmine's pov

The sound of my name falling from his lips should've felt like heaven calling me home, it should have put my heart at peace but it didn't.

Instead, it wrecked me. He wasn't rejecting me, he said it himself, he'd never reject me; but why did it feel like it.

Why did I feel my world collapse with each step he took away from me? Why did it feel like I was dying? Why did it weaken me?

And why was I suddenly so cold?

It wasn't on the outside, which would make sense. It was inside, deep within where I couldn't reach, where I couldn't warm myself up.

A place so far from me I knew he was the only one that could reach, but he was walking away.

“What happened?! Did he reject you?!” Chelsea growled, forcefully grabbing my face to look at her, tearing my eyes away from the vision of love walking away from me.

“Jazmine?” Her voice softened, her fingers on my face wiping away tears I hadn't even felt falling.

“Please tell me what happened? What did he say to you?!” She was getting frantic, like a mother whose child was hurt and couldn't figure out the cause.

“I'm going to kill that asshole Alpha!” Her fury returned in a split second, her words exactly what I needed to break through the thickness in my throat preventing me from speaking.

Why did it take her threatening him for me to even react?

“No Chelsea, he didn't reject me” I said softly, the thought of her harming him hurting more than him walking away.

“He…” I couldn't even find the words to explain, what do I even say?

He's still so in love with his dead mate, he doesn't know what to do with me?

Damn, that thought hurt more than I could imagine. She's dead, and I'm right here yet he chose her.

Was I that unlovable? Was she so much better than me?

I mean, yeah she was like him and I'm only human but she's dead for heaven sake!

Or maybe he just didn't want a human for a mate.

“He what? Jazmine what did he say to you?!” Chelsea asked again and I couldn't bring myself to repeat those words that made me feel so inferior.

“He's hurting” the girl with the green eyes, pale skin and pointy ears said, to me rather than Chelsea who'd been asking.

“In ways none of us can understand. And this time of the year is… exceptionally hardest, his darkest” she continued, moving her eyes from me to the direction he'd left in.

“This is when she… died?” The words fell hesitantly, almost hoping it was excuse enough to wash away these feelings of inferiority and rejection.

Finding another mate when your grief is the worst must've been such a shock. Maybe he just didn't know how to handle it all.

“Yes” a tear slipped down her pale cheek but she wiped it off so fast and graceful, I thought I'd imagined it.

“He'll come around” she said, her gaze hopeful; making me wonder if she was saying it to me or herself.

“Bullshit!” Chelsea growled.

“Is Jazmine supposed to wait around for him to sort himself out?! And how long will that take?! Huh?! A day? A week? A f*****g year?!” Chelsea was going crazy and as much I wanted to tell her to stop, her words stung.

How long would it have to wait for him? Could I wait for him?

“She deserves to be with a mate that chooses her over everything and everyone!” She screamed, ripping me apart.

And she was right, I did deserve someone that was just for me, and he clearly wasn't.

What if he never came around? Would I be stuck here waiting for someone who wished they could be with their dead mate?

Wouldn't it be better if he'd just rejected me?

Fuck! I didn't expect the pain that shot through my system, weakening my knees.

“Jazmine…” she began to speak but I cut her off, I couldn't stand there listening to her defend him when I was falling apart.

She was his friend after all, not mine. Of course she would say anything to make him look good.

“Chelsea, please take me home” my words came out a broken whisper as a sob wrecked through me.

Chelsea didn't hesitate, she shot the girl a dirty look and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, guiding me away from the group I'd failed to notice on my way out to talk to Ezra, and all the way to the parking lot.

She helped me into the passenger side and quickly dove into the driver's seat and sped off, driving like a maniac and for once I was glad.

She took me to her house so I wouldn't have to explain to my dad what had happened and I was grateful. Her parents wouldn't be home until tomorrow so I had time to put myself together.

“Go sit down, I'll get us some junk food and we can watch something. I'll call Judy and explain everything, just go sit down” she said when we got into the house, making me sigh in relief, here I was thinking she'd want me to tell her every single word that came out of his mouth.

It took her a couple of minutes to pile all the snacks from her pantry onto the coffee table and some even on the couch.

“I ordered some pizza, should be here in about 30 minutes, she said coming back with two bottles of wine and one of vodka.

“Your parents are going to kill you” I said, almost laughing at the fact that she never touched her parent's alcohol and she'd taken not one, not two but three bottles because I got my foolish little heart broken.

“Someone broke into the house while we were at work” she shrugged, making me laugh.

“And speaking about work, Judy said she understands why we left and you can take tomorrow off too” she said, filling up a glass of wine and giving it to me.

“I'm pretty sure I'll be able to work” I said, taking a big sip of the bittersweet liquid, feeling the smoothness of it slightly burn on its way down. And what was that fruity after taste?

“Mmmmm” I moaned as I breathed in its aroma, that was some really good wine.

“I know, my mom's good at finding the best wines, and you're absolutely not going to work tomorrow” she said, smiling after taking a sip from her glass.

“I bet it's expensive, and working would keep me busy so I won't think about him” I said, not realising how odd it was that we were having two conversations at the same time.

“Oh it is, and it's exotic. Aaaand you need a day to yourself before having to see people” she said, settling into the couch while looking for something to watch.

“Tastes exotic and FYI, time to myself means crying about a boy that walked away from me without giving me a chance, even though he's my SOUL MATE!” I said, feeling tears sting my eyes.

I needed more wine.

“Those tears in your eyes are the reason you need a day to yourself” she said, making me roll my eyes, causing the tears to fall.

I quickly wiped them off and kept drinking, focusing my gaze on the TV, even though my mind and heart clung to the image and feel of him like my life depended on it.

He'd felt so good, and warm. And that electric charge when he touched me? I had no idea what that was but I'd never felt so alive before.

It's like I'd only been existing before him and now, I didn't know if I could breathe properly again without him.

I needed him.

“Do you want to talk about it or do you want another drink?” Chelsea asked, now facing me.

How long had I spaced out that she'd taken notice?

“Drink, please” I said, handing her my now empty glass.

Pizza arrived and we stuffed our faces till we couldn't move, not once regretting it because it was that good.

Or maybe it was the alcohol.

I don't know when, but at some point, we got so drunk we couldn't keep watching movies and decided to have a dance party.

And I forgot about him, yes, the ache in my chest never lifted, but at least my mind wasn't paying it any attention.