The Wallflower's Revenge

AWR Chapter 45: Let go

Tell me how you feel."

"What? I'm okay."

"Gosh, until now, you're still bad at lying." She chuckled to ease what I feel. I avoided her eye contact to still defend myself.

"No, really...don't worry. I will just sleep to make myself better." I insisted and it made her sigh, a hopeless one.

She always knew that she couldn't force me to tell something I want to keep for myself. I admire this attitude of my best friend so much.

"Please tell me if there's something you might need help with."

"Sure." I started the engine again and held on to my steering wheel. We reached the house with a lonely vibe. I don't really feel like talking to Sheira. I am sure she understood my silence this time. She went to the bathroom instead. She just did her half-bath while I sat on my bed.

I looked at the cabinet where I hid my mother's diary. I also don't have the mood to read her diary, either. I feel like I am going to be more miserable if I read the details of her previous writings.

Why is everything kind of messed up? Sometimes I want to ask why I belong to those unfortunate individuals who experience nothing but miserable situations. I feel like I am trapped for a lifetime only to experience these kinds of stuff.

I lay on the bed feeling exhausted. I closed my eyes to relax my body. I could compare the physical pain to a whole day spent at the gym. I never expected that what I have seen yesterday would have this kind of impact on me. Did everything just sink in today? I felt betrayed and I feel like I can't easily accept it.

I felt Sheira sit on the bed beside where I am right now.

"Are you still awake?" She tapped my arm.

"Hmm." I answered lazily, not minding to open my eyes for her.

"I want you to tell me what you feel."

"If you're a real friend, you would know."

"You told me last time not to assume things. It's better to ask directly to you, right?" She sounded worried, too worried, I am thinking that it is not Sheira whom I am talking to right now.

"I don't know Sheir." I tried suppressing what I felt but my tears were really traitors. They just fall whenever they like. I can't even stop them.

"Well, you can't cry like that and be hurt if nothing's wrong."

I sighed as I opened my eyes. She wiped my tears using her handkerchief that she got from her tiny bag.

"Is it bad to feel hurt when someone lets you feel special and then he will change all of a sudden?"

"Wow, what do you mean by that?"

"Oh c'mon Sheir! Snap it! I exactly know you knew what I meant."

"No. Honestly, I felt confused. I don't know what to say." She murmured, looking into my eyes.

"Ok. Let me explain it to you, for example, if someone made you feel you're the only one he'd ever adore, then one day, you caught him cheating, what will you do?

"I will kick his ass and let him know how dumbass he really is." She said while clenching her fist in front of me.

"Whoah...you will really do it?"

"Of course, the odds will ever be in my favor." She confidently stated, still looking angry.

"Thank you my superwoman," I replied in a soft voice. She chuckled and somehow it made me smile a bit. I am thankful that Sheira is here to lighten the mood.

"But seeing you, it's enough for me to also feel bad. Too bad I just couldn't stand it sometimes."

"Yeah, that's what I mean. He made me feel special by putting efforts and then I will wake up one day, knowing he has some unfinished business to attend to."

"I badly wanted to know, though. Do you feel special towards Gavin this time, Becca?"

"No!" I answered her in a defensive manner right away.

"Gosh, I am not planning to argue with you whether you like him or not. Relax!" She chuckled and it made me feel embarrassed of my actions all of a sudden.

"I hope you will solve your personal issues and be real in front of me. I miss that part of Becca." She murmured as she leaned closer to me. She fixed some strands of my hair a bit and put it beside my ear. She also touched my cheek and pinched my nose.

"Ow!" I touched the tip of my nose because she pinched putting pressure on it.

"So what's your plan now?"

"I don't know."

"If you ask me and if I will decide for you, I will make sure that Gavin will never be near you again. I'll make sure of that."

"Yeah, I guess that should be it."

"You will get over with it soon, dear."

"Thank you Sheir. I love you. Please stay with me for a while."

"Sure, I'll just be here for you. You can adopt me for a day, it's fine."

"Adopt?" I asked between chuckles.

"Of course. I have to tell it to you because I can clearly see that between you and mom? There's no difference at all!"

We laughed together like nothing happened. I realized I needed small heart-to-heart talks like this with Sheira. Somehow, it eased the pain. It's also an eye-opener for me. If that scene where Klaire kissed Gavin didn't happen, I will not realize for myself that he's very special for me, too.

But of course, I will not tell it to Sheira if I will not prove it for myself. I want to be sure of my feelings like what I always do.

----

Gavin drove his car quietly. Klaire sat on the passenger's seat and she's looking at him very intently.

"Why did you come back?" He asked calmly without looking at her. He preferred focusing his attention to the road.

"You know the reason why, Gavin! Don't be an idiot."

"Why are you acting as if you're a clingy girlfriend when you clearly know we're over?"

"Over?" She chuckled with sarcasm. "Who told you that?"

"When you headed back to New York three months ago, you even initiated the breakup even if I didn't want to."

"Gavin, it was just a misunderstanding. As if you didn't know me too well. The important thing is, I am here now."

He was so pissed off that he stopped his car beside the road. Gavin thinks that if he will continue driving his car with all he felt right now, they might crash somewhere. He even gripped the steering wheel tightly.

"We're over now. I hope that's clear to you."

"Why a change of heart now, sweetheart? Is it because of that Rebecca? Is she the woman you're proud of?"

"She isn't just any woman, Klaire."

"Wow. How could you say that in front of me? I am not even intimidated by her presence. She's even less to be considered a threat." She said as she smirked.

"Snap the hell out of it, Klaire."

"Didn't you miss me?" She said as she touched his cheek passionately. She even kissed him on the lips again, deeper, hungrier, wilder this time.

"Let's stop this." She let go of him but they were both breathless. Klaire grinned at him as he looked into her eyes.

"I always knew you. You will always be mine, sweetheart. I know you can't just replace me with someone else."

They went inside Gavin's unit and Klaire flared up the heat that's building within him. Without him noticing it, they were already making love in many corners of the room.

"Just like how I wanted…" She bit her lip while covering her naked body with a blanket. Gavin is lying on his back, staring at the white ceiling. She laid on top of him as she put her arms around his neck.

"I miss you so much. I couldn't get enough of you, honey." She whispered to his ear. Gavin avoided by moving his head away from her face. He preferred looking at the other way.

He tried to let go of Klaire's arm but she gripped tighter.

"C'mon, I know you crave for me. You can't easily avoid this." She said in a very seductive manner, she even leans her face closer to his ear. She nibbled his earlobe and she could feel his breathing become ragged.

"See? I'm the only one who could ever do this to you."

Gavin kissed her back, more passionately this time that Klaire moaned with pleasure. The night seems endless for the both of them.