The Alpha and Her Secret Mate

Missing

Dan gave me some recommended reading about pack dynamics, so I go to the library after a meeting with the warriors. I flip through the pages, but I can barely see him. I just keep running Alex’s words through my head, that he’s scared I could be anyone but his. I can’t do this anymore, I have to find him and make this right. I can’t sense him anymore, and there’s a nagging fear in the back of my mind. It’s been hours since I could feel him.

I nudge the book closed, and the cover lands with a dull thud. I leave the book on my desk in the library. I know the library is open to pack use, so I try to keep it a little neater than Grandpa’s office upstairs. I’m still sure that my book will be untouched when I come back for it.

I wander through the house slowly, searching for any sign that Alex has been here. I sigh when I catch a whiff of his scent, but it’s faint. He must have been here hours ago. I wander outside and stand on the porch for a moment, my nose turned to the wind. Just six months ago, just the suggestion would have felt absurd, but now it’s an instinct.

“I know that look,” Molly says with a teasing voice.

I turn to see her sitting on the porch swing. I was so focused on finding Alex that I’ve hardly noticed anyone else. “A-and what look is that?”

She grins. “You’re looking for your mate.”

I falter and her smile widens.

“Don’t worry, you’ll find him soon enough.” She winks at me.

“Oh, yeah,” I say, my mind filled with images of Alex. “I mean, no rush. I’ve got plenty going on here.”

“Oh, Layla,” she says, reaching out to rub my shoulder. “It’s not wrong to wish for your mate before you find him. The Goddess will send him in due time.”

“Yes, the Goddess’ will above all.” The blessing feels awkward when I say it, but it must be what Molly was looking for because she smiles and turns back to the book in her lap.

I walk down the porch steps, trying not to look like I’m fleeing the conversation with Molly. I wonder again if it would be easier to just tell the pack that Alex is my mate, but a nagging fear is lodged in my throat. They can barely take me seriously now. What will happen if I have a mate by my side? Would it be better if I just let Alex take my place as Alpha anyways?

At this thought, my wolf growls, and I know that’s not an option. I couldn’t abandon my grandfather’s pack that way.

I’ve been wandering absentmindedly, focused on looking for Alex, so when an arm grabs me around my waist and pulls me back, I scream in surprise.

A hand claps over my mouth, stifling the scream, and I bite down, but it tastes familiar.

“Alex?” My voice is muffled through his hand as he pulls me into an empty storage shed.

“Shhh,” he whispers, turning me around in his arms.

“I missed you,” I whisper, leaning into his embrace. The rush of relief I expect from his presence doesn’t come. I feel unsettled, something still feels off.

“Oh yeah?” he asks, his voice tickling my skin. “What did you miss?”

I ignore the feeling and turn my head to look him in the eye. “Hmmm…I missed holding you,” I say, as I wrap my arms tighter around his body. “And kissing you.” I lean forward on my tippy toes to touch my lips to his.

He blinks, and then his grey eyes are practically glowing. I take a half step back away from him, but his arm holds me in place.

“Alex, what’s going on?”

“Do I need an excuse to kiss my mate?” he asks. My whole body quivers in response to his possession in his voice. I can feel his smile against my lips.

“Never,” I whisper, kissing him firmly. With his body pressed against mine, I feel his tongue dart against my lips teasing. "Alex," I whimper.

He laughs at my desperation, but I can feel the same longing in him.

I pull him closer to me and slip my hands under his shirt. He groans when I dig my fingers against his skin. I pull him against me and press my body against him. I want him, and I can’t feel him. I can’t sense him like I usually do. With my mind. With my wolf.

“Alex,” I whine. He pulls me closer against his chest, and he takes my bottom lip between his teeth. When I gasp, he slips his tongue into my mouth and warmth rushes through me. “Come back to me,” I whisper.

“Hmmm…?” he hums the question against my lips, and I push my body against his, trying to replace the usual mindlink I have of him with a physical proximity.

“Alex, please,” I whine. I don’t even know what I’m asking for. He’s clearly right in front of me. He’s surrounding me, but he’s also missing. “Come back, don’t go.”

He laughs, “Layla, I’m right here.” He kisses my forehead, and with a sigh, I feel my awareness of him come rushing back. I feel his skin, warm against mine, but I also feel his pulse racing with desire. I feel the longing in his heart and the full force of his existence.

I rest my head against his chest and giggle with relief. “I missed you,” I whisper again. I let my hands wander over the firm muscles of his chest. I breathe him in, while his fingers trace small circles over my shoulders.

“I was barely half the day,” he whispers teasingly into my hair.

“It felt like much more,” I say, realizing as I say it that it didn’t feel like more time. It felt like more distance, more of a divide.

I feel him grin against my hair, and I can see it in my mindlink. “If you’re going to greet me this enthusiastically when you miss me, maybe I should leave for a day. See what you think then.”

“NO!” I yell, throwing my arms around his waist and holding him tight. “Don’t go.”

He shivers happily in my grip, and I can sense his wolf do the same. “No, I don’t think I will.” He holds me close, and I bask in the relief of feeling him again. I genuinely don’t know how I lived without him for so long. I never want to again.

When he pulls me back, I follow eagerly. His fingers sink into my hair, and his fingers graze my scalp sending shivers down my spine. He turns around with me, then in quick succession, I feel the wooden walls of the shed slam against my back followed by Alex’s lips, soft against my mouth. The contrast is agonizing, and I yearn for a firm touch to prove that he’s here with me.

My hands snake around his waist and I dig into his hip bones to pull him closer.

“Uh-nuh,” he says, grinning against my lips. In a flash, he’s captured both of my wrists in his palm and pinned them against the wall over my head. I push back against him, and he snaps my hands back against the wall. “So, naughty,” he growls.

The rumbling in his throat makes me yelp needily, and I chase him catching his bottom lip between my teeth. I laugh when he groans against me. His pulse is racing to catch up with mine, and his face is flushed.

“Look at me,” he whispers gently.

I raise my eyes to meet his, and I nearly melt under his gaze. His eyes are glowing, but not with the cold distance if before. Now he glows with warmth and affection and the weight of a thousand things he wants to say to be and the lifetime he plans to use to say them all.

“Where were you all day?” I whisper, resting my forehead against his.

“I never left the grounds,” he says. His hand comes up to cup my cheek, and he releases my hands, guiding them to cling around his neck.

I skim my fingers through the short hair at the base of his scalp, and he smiles comfortably. “Seriously, what happened?” I ask, nudging him with my hip.

His eyes narrow for a flash. “Nothing?” he says as he pulls his head back, just an inch, away from me.

“Really?” I say, my fingers still. “It felt like you were gone.” I try to laugh, try to show him how much his absence hurt. “Did you use one of the blocker bracelets?” I ask, remembering the device Alex made to block the mindlink. It has it’s useful moments, and also it’s deadly. “I didn’t think it would work with the mate bond?”

“It’s a cuff!” he snaps with a grin at our old argument. “But no, I didn’t.”

“Are you sure?” I ask, tilting my head in consideration. I try to recall exactly how I felt all day. He was gone, and if I tried to sense him, it was like he got farther away.

His expression hardens. “What are you suggesting?”

I’m frozen for a moment under his intense stare. He usually makes me squirm with just a look, but not like this, not so uncomfortably. I want to push, but I don’t even know how to describe the feeling I had. “It’s nothing,” I say, and his gaze softens incrementally. “I just like being here with you.”

He smiles, and I relax, tension flooding from my shoulders. Alex presses a soft kiss to my forehead, and I sink into his touch. “We don’t have to hide you know,” he teases.

“Don’t push your luck,” I say, tightening my arms around him.