Tenant’s Secret Love

It was a rainy evening. The cold wind whipped up the fallen leaves as it raged through the city. Violetta and I stood under an umbrella in front of the Maternal and Child Health Hospital. Amid the crowd, she looked a little pale as she looked at me. “Lucas, I'm pregnant.” I froze for a moment, then said with wide eyes, “Go find the person who got you pregnant. Why did you call me out?” "I've only slept with you this year, so who else would I find?” “Do you believe me when I say that you are the only woman I have slept with this year?“ ”Lucas, do you consider yourself a man?“ ”We are all here to have fun, so don't blame me for this. If you want me to take responsibility, then produce something tangible, don't play empty promises with me. Who the hell wants to be a father in a daze?" Violetta said to me after a moment of silence, ”The baby has already been aborted, so where is there any proof?” I was a little angry: “Do you think I'm stupid? You got rid of your child, and then...” I raised my hand, and then I felt even more speechless, and said, “Then, tell me that the child is mine. Are you being naive or am I really stupid? ...Violetta, let's be adults, can we do something decent?” Violetta looked at me with her lips pursed, and after a while she said, “You don't want to take responsibility, do you? Tomorrow I'll go to your company...” “Damn it...you don't have to be like that!” I said angrily. Violetta looked at me with her lips pursed, but I felt that she was a good actress. I met her in a bar and had a one-night stand with her. A woman who frequented bars said that she had had s*x with me, a man, in one year. If I believed her, I would be a fool. I didn't want to get entangled with her anymore, so I took out my wallet and handed her all the 100 yuan bills in it: “You just want money, take it and leave me alone!” Violetta didn't say a word and didn't argue with me anymore. She nodded and walked towards the hospital with an umbrella, as if she still owed some money. Looking at her lonely back in the rain, I suddenly felt an indescribable emotion in my heart. Although I didn't believe that the child in her belly was mine, and although I was very annoyed with her, I felt that her life must not be going well, otherwise she wouldn't have hounded me like this. After a long silence, I finally called out to her, “Wait...” Violetta looked back at me. I took out a bank card from my wallet and handed it to her: “This card can be used to withdraw some money. You've just had an operation, so buy yourself something to help you recover.” Violetta didn't take it, however: “No, thanks. Seeing that you're willing to take responsibility is what I wanted. I'm looking for you because I don't want to be slept with and then get pregnant by someone!” ... In the bar, I drank alone while waiting for Harlan, my only friend and colleague in this city with whom I can confide. Since the first day I came to this bar, I have seen too many lonely women and empty-hearted men drinking all kinds of alcohol here, either in silence or looking for something called “drunken living and dreaming” with desire in their eyes. In fact, when we abandon our bodies during the day and let our souls get lost in this sea of lights and colors, we are already drunk and living a dream. I don't remember from which night onwards, I started to regard this place as my home. I like the women here, who sway their hips; I like the swaying lights; I like the drinks in various colors; I like the smell of perfume mixed with tobacco; I like the drunkenness and living a dream here, and then, in the drunkenness and living a dream, engrave the messy past as a tombstone. Light a cigarette, pull off the film from the pack, cover your eyes, and watch the flickering lights. Your body sways along with the lights, and in the light refracted by the film, I seem to see a kind of decadence that just gets by! I can't help but get lost in it! ... Harlan pulled off the film from my hands, and suddenly my world became clear again. “What's the rush? What do you need?“ Harlan put down his briefcase and took a cigarette out of my pack and lit it. ”Lend me some money, I've been f*****g ripped off!“ ”Got some girl pregnant again?“ Harlan said nonchalantly. ”f**k you again! I really got ripped off this time...“ ”Who ripped you off this time?” “Why are you asking so many questions?“ ”I always lend you thousands of dollars at a time, so at least let me know who the hell is cheating me!“ ”Violetta,“ I said, lighting a cigarette in my anger. ”The flat model?” “That's her. Your world is full of thieves. She said that I was the only guy she slept with in a year. Do you believe that? Harlan, if this happened to you, would you believe it?“ I was so excited that my fingers made a ‘cracking’ sound as I pounded on the table. ”This kind of thing could never happen to me. Besides, she wouldn't cheat you out of a few thousand dollars. Last month, she shot all the promotional posters for our department store, and she got more than 10,000 yuan in compensation...” I snorted and interrupted Harlan, “Don't you look at what she usually spends. Is ten thousand yuan enough for her to use for a month? Now she's having an affair with someone else and has no money to clean up after herself, so she thinks of me, her cheap s*x friend... I'm really cheap. I shouldn't have been kind enough to introduce her to our company in the first place. I didn't make less money for her, and now she's backstabbing me. Does she have any conscience in the industry?” Harlan, however, ignored my anger and asked me in a low voice, “Did you bring that thing when you slept with her?” I thought about it for a long time and could only remember that I was drunk and could hardly remember if I had worn a condom. After a while, I said, “I did... Otherwise I wouldn't be saying that I've been cheated!” Harlan looked at me suspiciously, and after a long time, he sighed and said to me, “Lucas, we've been friends for almost ten years, and sometimes I really want to persuade you. I know that Brittany breaking up with you was a big blow to you, but it's been two years now, and there's really no need for you to treat yourself like this... Youth waits for no one. Find a girlfriend and settle down, okay?” When the name Brittany was mentioned again, I subconsciously froze for a moment before saying, “Don't bother... I'm fine, man! “No worries! Right?" ... Harlan talked me down for a long time, and I impatiently dealt with it for a long time. In the end, he left with the words ‘rotten mud can't be helped’ and left with dissatisfaction, forgetting about the money I borrowed from him. Fortunately, after two years of hanging out in the bar and often bringing friends to spend money, I was still on good terms with the owner, and the cost of this drink was temporarily charged to the account. Walking out of the bar, holding an umbrella as I walked along the rain-soaked street, I truly understood what it meant to be all alone. I had struggled in this city for two years, but all I had gained was endless emptiness and loneliness. In order to escape this poisonous emptiness and loneliness, I had to wear a mask that concealed my shame and live with it. With this mask, I could live with a clear conscience and indulge myself. But no matter how hard I struggled on the edge of pain, she would never come back! ... Alone in a daze, I walked for several stops before returning to the small community where I live. It is an old community, so old that it doesn't even have a property management company. The first year I was here, I heard the older women in the community say that it was built in the early 1990s. Eroded by the passage of time, every building in the community looks so dilapidated, yet they stand close to each other, as if afraid of being lonely. So it seems that each building has come to life again, which makes me think: late at night, when everyone is asleep, they will also whisper a few words to each other, to relieve decades of loneliness. With a cigarette in my mouth and the keys in my pocket, I walked towards the building where I lived. This building is the only one in the community with ivy. Every summer, the south-facing wall is covered in green. If these buildings had genders, then this building would undoubtedly be a woman, an indifferent woman. She often makes people feel sad for her! What surprised me was that there was a red Audi Q7 parked in the dilapidated parking lot downstairs. In my memory, in the two years I lived here, there never seemed to be a car worth more than 500,000 yuan in this neighborhood. Without thinking too much, I whistled as I walked down the corridor to my apartment. When I reached the top floor, I was surprised to find that the door was ajar. I remembered that I had definitely locked it when I left. I subconsciously thought that there was a thief in the house, and it was only after calming down that I remembered that I had not paid the rent to my landlord Jason for two months, and he had probably come to collect it. Opening the door, I saw Jason, the landlord, sitting on the sofa with a strange woman. A bunch of Audi Q7 car keys were on the coffee table, and there was no doubt that the Q7 parked downstairs belonged to this strange girl. Then a question flashed through my mind: what kind of magic does Jason, this cunning person from the streets, have? How could he bring such a noble and inviolable girl, like a white lily, to this simple room? This really made me very puzzled! ...