The Love Between Our Lies

Vivi’s POV “ I do.” That was all it took for it to change the rest of my life. I looked at Alex beside me, his face filled with joy that I couldn't bring myself to share with him completely. He loved me. I knew that. He had loved me for years even before any of us knew what love was or what it actually meant. And now I’m his wife. The thought of that should have made me happy but instead my eyes moved across the room. Then I found him. Ethan, Alex’s younger brother. The man I had loved for as long as I can remember. He was standing beside his brother, smiling at us with no jealousy in his eyes. No sadness. No hidden feelings. He was just simply happy for his brother. I swallowed because this was exactly why I had married Alex. Not because I loved him but because I believed marrying him would bring me closer to Ethan. I would become a Blackwood and can see Ethan whenever I want. I could be in his life forever. And maybe, just maybe one day he would truly see me as someone more than just his childhood friend. Maybe he would remember his promise to me. Maybe he would fall in love with me. I knew what I was doing to Alex was wrong but I had loved Ethan for so long to let him slip away from my life. At least that was what I told myself. I didn’t know marrying Alex would not bring me closer to Ethan as I imagined. Instead it would bring all four of us together more than we expected. And eventually the secret to my marriage would become one of the reasons everything fell apart. Fifteen years earlier………. The Laurent and Blackwood families had been close for as long as I could recall. Our parents had met long before we were born. They celebrated birthdays together. They spent holidays together. They travelled together. Sometimes I don’t seem to remember which house I was supposed to call home because the Blackwood house felt familiar like mine. And then they were the boys of the Blackwood family. Alex and Ethan Blackwood. Alex was twelve, two years older than me. He was responsible and quiet. Ethan was eleven. He was loud, playful and almost always responsible for whatever troubles we found ourselves in. And then there was me. Vivi Laurent. I was ten years old and always convinced that the three of us would remain together forever. That Saturday afternoon, both families were gathered at the Blackwood House. The adults were laughing and chatting inside while the kids were playing in the garden. I was sitting beneath a tree when Ethan came to me. “Vivi.” I looked up. “What?” “Come with me.” “Where?” “Just come.” “Why?” He grinned. “Because I have an idea.” That immediately made Alex look up from his book. “Then it’s never a good thing.” He said Ethan ignored him and held out his hand. I took it. He pulled me towards the other side of the garden. “What are we doing here?” I asked “We are getting married.” I stopped walking. “What?” Ethan burst out laughing. “It’s just a game.” I stared at him “A wedding game?” “Yeah.” “Why would we play that?” “Because we are bored.” Alex came over, shaking his head. “You both are ridiculous.” Ethan pointed to him. “You’re the priest.” “No.” “Please.” “No.” “Please Alex.” Alex sighed. “Fine but you owe me.” Ethan smiled. “Alright have heard.” We stood beneath the tree. Ethan stood opposite me trying to act serious. Alex cleared his throat. “Okay let’s get this over with.” Ethan laughed. Alex looked at him. “Do you, Ethan Blackwood, take Vivi Laurent to be your wife?” Ethan looked at me. He smiled. “Yes, I do.” Everyone laughed. Alex continued. “Do you promise to marry her when you get older?” Ethan didn’t even hesitate. “Of course.” I smiled. I believed him. I didn’t care that we were children. I didn’t care that this was just a game. Ethan had promised. And that was more than enough for me. We continued playing till our parents eventually called us inside for lunch. Ethan ran ahead. Alex stayed behind. “You know he was joking right?” I looked at him. “About what?” “The wedding.” I frowned. “He said he would marry me.” Alex smiled. “We’re young, Vivi.” “I know.” “You can’t actually marry Ethan.” “Why not?” “Because you’re both children.” I crossed my arms. “When we’re older, we will get married.” Alex stared at me for a moment. Then he laughed. “You really believed that?” “Yes.” He smiled again, but something about it didn’t feel right. I didn’t understand it. Not then. I simply ran after Ethan. For me the game was over but the promise wasn’t. As many years passed, I still remembered it. But Ethan didn’t. At least I didn't know that he had forgotten. To me those words became something precious. Everything Ethan made me laugh. I would always remember it. Everything he defended me I would remember. Every time our families planned our future. I imagined him in mine. I didn’t know that while I was loving Ethan, Alex was quietly falling in love with me. I didn’t notice the way he looked at me whenever I entered a room. I didn’t understand why he was always the first person to notice when I was upset. All I understood was that I wanted Ethan. And I believed he would eventually want me back. As we grew older the belief only became stronger. Ethan and I remained close to each other. We went to the same family gathering, celebrated birthdays together and spent most of our holidays together. Alex was always there too. But as we entered our teenage years things started changing. Alex became more quiet around me. Ethan became more interested in girls. And I became more aware of my feelings. I was no longer a little girl playing game wedding beneath a tree. I knew what it meant to have a crush. I knew what it felt for my heart to skip whenever Ethan walked into the room. I knew I was in love with him. The problem was that Ethan didn’t feel the same way. He treated me exactly the same way he always had. Exactly like a close friend. Sometimes he would ruffle my hair and call me annoying. Sometimes he tells me about a girl he finds pretty. Everytime he did I pretended not to care, just listening. I became very good at pretending. Then when I was seventeen Ethan left New York for university. I remember I was standing at the airport with both families. Ethan hugged his parents first. Then Alex. Finally, he turned to me. “Take care of yourself, Vivi.” I smiled. “You too.” He pulled for a hug. For a moment I hugged him longer than I should have. I didn’t want him to leave. But I couldn’t tell him. I watched him disappear through the airport doors. Months passed… Ethan called occasionally. We talked about schools, families and everything happening back home. He never said anything about missing me. He never mentioned our promise. He never said he loved me. I kept waiting. Then he came home for the holidays. I was so happy that I spent hours deciding on what to wear to the Blackwood house. When Ethan saw me, he smiled. “Vivi, you’ve changed.” I laughed. “So have you.” He had. He looked older. More confident and mature. For a moment, I forgot every doubt I’d ever had. Maybe things would finally be different. Maybe he would finally see me. That evening, we sat outside while everyone else was inside. I looked at him. “Ethan?” “Hmm?” “Do you remember something?” He looked at me confused. “What?” “When we were kids, we played wedding.” He laughed. “Oh my God, you still remember?” “Barely.” My smile faded. “You promised you’d marry me.” He laughed again. “We were just children, Vivi.” “I know.” “It was just a game.” I forced myself to smile. “Yeah,I know.” He didn’t notice the disappointment in my voice. He didn’t notice I had remembered this promise for years. To him it was nothing. To me it was everything. That night I finally accepted something I had been avoiding. Ethan might never love me. But instead of giving up I held onto the hope tighter. I didn’t know that another person had already fallen in love with me. Alex. He had always been there for me. Always patient and protective. Always loving me in ways I could never have imagined. And eventually he would confess those feelings. When he did I had a choice. I could tell him the truth. I could tell him that my heart belonged to his brother. Or I could accept his love and remain close to Ethan. I chose the second option. And that choice would become the beginning of everything.