The Royal Pain

CHAPTER THREE:

I opened my mouth to speak and then closed it again, not knowing what to say. I repeated this action a few times, a few words popping into my mind but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I just stared in awe and shock and horror at Nathan until he snarled and stormed out of the room. I felt the tears brimming, and I immediately scolded myself. I was a warrior; crying was a sign of weakness.

I was not weak.

I cradled myself on the firm bed, not knowing how to feel at all. I was sitting upright but I felt like I was falling into a dark abyss. I clutched at my stomach like the contents inside were about to spill out all over the bed. I wanted to scream, to cry or to throw something, but, instead, against my will, I sat there dumbfounded.

Nathan was in love with me? How on earth had this happened? We’d had a few conversations, but I barley knew anything about him. I had to admit, though, I had seen him staring at me a few times, a stare that had unnerved me. I always figured it was because I was spending so much time with Jex; time that he and Nathan weren't spending together.

Envious. That was the word that I was looking for. I'd always figured Nathan was envious of the amount of time that Jex spent with me as opposed to spending time with him. But that had never made sense to me, I wasn’t in the house all of the time, I was sometimes gone for weeks, training others, fighting or just having a general break and that left Jex and Nathan with plenty of time to spend together.

I tried to decipher my thoughts, but it was like someone had thrown a blanket over them, but the realisation of what Nathan had told me hit me like a tonne of bricks. Closing my eyes, an image popped up in my mind: the flash of the silver knife as he dug it into my flesh. As I lay, on a cold metal table, writhing in agony, begging for mercy.

Thinking of the pain, only brought an onslaught of more pain. The scar on my chest burned and my heart beat picked up erratically. I felt my hands shake and I had to take deep breaths to calm myself lest a nurse walked in and sedated me. Get a grip, I told myself. There was no need to panic – Nathan would choose another mate and we’d all act like this never happened and hopefully I would still be allowed to be a part of the Royal Guard.

I limped off the bed, threw on my clothes from the day Alpha Terry had marred my face and left the room in a hurry – I needed a distraction

Contrary to popular belief, the Royals did not live in a castle, but they did have one. However, they mainly resided in a simple house, like every other house. It was better not to draw attention from the human world. It would only pose problems for us and leave questions that we could not answer.

Of course, there was a castle in the Realm but that was seldom used. The Realm was also protected by magical wards that prevented human entry, it was all quite fascinating usually, but my mind was too preoccupied with Nathan’s announcement for me to be awed like I usually was about the werewolf world and its history.

I trudged through the hospital and started the long walk back to the house. I needed time to think. Alone.

I was cautious as I walked; I did not want to bump into Nathan. It was more miserable than the window in the hospital room had made it out to be outside. The sun cowered behind dark clouds that looked as though they were about to unleash a flurry of rain at any moment.

The environment and atmosphere around the Royal House was lonely, but beautiful, hidden in the woods – quite literally. The first few oak trees of the forest were only a few metres away from the front door. It was quite lucky that there had even been a big enough clearing here in the first place.

I kicked at the ground as I walked, my heavy combat boots making quite deep ditches in the ground. Stupid mates, stupid bonds, stupid Nathan, I thought to myself. It was just my luck that it had turned out this way, of course it was. Nothing worked out the way I needed it to, instead already complicated issues became even more complicated and that put me in an impossible position, facing a decision that I never wanted to think about.

No one could know about the experimentations that had happened to me – I’d just be experimented on even more, or there would be an attempt to fix my issue but I didn’t want to get my hopes up for nothing. My only feasible option was to leave the Royal Guard, but I didn’t know if I was strong enough to do that.

***

A half hour later, and I stormed into the basement of the house. It spanned the whole of the underground of the house. This was where I trained, it was my safe haven, gifted to me by the King. I ran down the steps, and walked over to one of the punching bags, excitement running through my veins, taking off the edge of the pain.

There, I let out all of my pent up rage.

The fact that I couldn't give Nathan what he wanted, even though a life with him seemed to cause a warm feeling to heat up my veins. The fact that I could end up ruining the Royal reputation if Nathan wasn't able to function properly as a King since I was unable to serve with him. The fact that, I'd always admired Nathan, and I couldn't allow myself to get close to him, because I'd been altered not to think like that. It had been drummed into me that love made you weak. It was something I refused to believe, but I had seen it happen with my own eyes.

For example, a father throwing himself in front of a bullet for his one true love; my mother. My mother, so grieved by my father's death, so lost without him that she ended up taking her own life. Both of them, willingly, leaving their child, a lost little girl who just wanted her mummy and daddy back.

Love made you weak.

I slammed my fist into the punching bag again and again, sweating and panting. There were three more hanging down from the ceiling in a row. Behind them, there was a table backed up against the room. An array of bows lay on the table. On the far wall, five dart targets were nailed into the wall.

The bow and arrow was the weapon of my choice. I trained vigorously with it, it was like my lifeline. I felt a connection with my bow, a connection like no other. I felt myself laugh bitterly at the irony. It seemed as though I felt a connection with everything but my supposed mate.

The rough stone walls of the basement were smoothed out on the sides to allow for five various types of work out machines to enhance my muscles. In the middle of the room, there was a wooden spike that stuck up. Multiple different branches stemmed off from the spike. Each branch held something different. It ranged from a wooden fist, to an automated gun loaded with silver pellets.

The aim was to step inside the ring that engulfed the machine and do anything to avoid the branches as they came towards you. The stick would spin, and speed up and you'd have to keep up with its pace, jumping, ducking or even kicking to avoid the dangerous piece of equipment on the end of the branch. It was my favourite piece of equipment in the room and the largest.

I walked over to the sleek, silver fridge in the corner of the room and took out a bottle of water. I gulped down the liquid, revelling in its coldness, realising how thirsty I actually was. Then, I tore off my sticky clothes and threw them in the wash basket by the door. I grabbed my black sweatpants and sports bra from the table and pumped myself up for the exterminator.

The name had originated from the fact that the loud whirring noise of the machine had scared off all the rats that lived in the basement. I grinned, thinking back to when Jex had walked in on me battling against the wooden fist. He had told me that my bare feet would get nipped by the mice.

Turns out, as he turned to get a drink, they all scurried out the door, never to be seen again. I turned on the machine and rubbed the powder on my hand to prevent them leaving sweat marks on the beautiful machine.

"What do you think you're doing?" a voice growled from above. I shivered half in shock and half in fear. Something about being afraid appealed to me, even though I hated it, so I revelled in the moment of bliss.

I spun around, ready to attack, when I realised that it was only Nathan. He looked the same as earlier, only now his eyes looked defeated and his shoulders were slumped. I gulped and guilt wrapped itself around my heart as I knew that I had done this to him.

"I'm training," I deadpanned as he walked over to me. I was trying to be as rude and distant as I possibly could so that Nathan’s choice of picking another mate would be easier for him.

Nathan walked towards me and grabbed the remote from my hand, smashing it against the wall. Black shards fell from his hand and I gaped at him. The machine whirred and then fell silent.

"My baby!" I screeched, going over to the exterminator and stroking one of its branches. I narrowed my eyes at Nathan. "You owe me a new remote!"

"You shouldn't be training," Nathan said, ignoring my protests. "You should be resting." That didn’t mean he had to smash my remote though did it. Why couldn’t anyone just ever ask nicely?

"I'm fine," I snapped. "I've been through a lot worse," I muttered under my breath, not really thinking that Nathan would hear me.

Nathan turned rigid and I saw his eyes turning black once again. "What do you mean?" he growled as he stalked towards me. The look on his face was warning me not to lie to him.

Oh crap, I thought to myself..