Becoming Me (GL)

Later Today

"Where were you yesterday?" Sage demanded as she stormed into my room.

"Nowhere special,” I replied in faux nonchalance.

"Really... Because I went to your place and your sister said you went out with a friend to a party. Since when do you go to parties? Also, who the hell is this girl you went with? Who said you can go out with other girls?” Her normally pale face was painted in red.

This was rare; unheard of. I've seen her jealous rage before, enough to recognise it without from across a room. I had never witnessed it directed towards me before. I was getting freaked out by her increased attention to me. I wasn’t even used to her looking at me while we were making love. It was strange that a negative situation should earn me more of her attention than the height of our joint bliss.

"Why do you care? Don’t you have a girlfriend to worry about?" She was almost as shocked as I was at my words. I wondered where I had found a spine on such short notice, but that didn’t last long. Before I had time to fully process my newfound confidence, Sage had taken it upon herself to become a human water fountain. I assumed my usual position - muscle memory had its downfall. I wrapped my arms around her and rubbed her back as she sobbed into my shoulder.

"What happened?" I asked softly when she started to calm down.

"Lara broke up with me." The emotional girl finally divulged the real reason for her waterworks.

Shit. This was my fault. She knew that Sage was cheating on her.

"Did she tell you why?" I tried to play it off.

"She said that we weren't going to work out. Some bullshit about having different goals in life. Who does she think she is? She is saying I have no goals and that I'm not good enough for her." I knew better than to point out her gross misinterpretation of what she was saying, so I just stayed silent and continued to hold her.

Her sobs softened to sniffles and occasional sharp inhales. She turned in my arms and wiped her tears. I stopped her and replaced her hand with my own as I softly caressed her cheek and wiped each new tear away with the pad of my thumb as it pooled in the corner of her eye.

"You know what? This is great news! Now there's nothing to stop us from becoming a real couple!" I looked at her with an open mouth.

Wait.

"What?"

"You and me. We can give us a real shot! What do you say - you finally get what you want? We don't have to hide anymore." The only thing I could do to stop myself from either screaming or crying in joy was to kiss her with all the love I had for her.

I kissed her as I have never kissed her before. I felt her reciprocate immediately. She tangled her hand in the small curls at my neck. I was entirely engrossed in both the elation that I was feeling and also the taste of her lips. We hadn’t kissed like this in a while; not since she started dating Lara.

Lara was officially my favourite A-hole in the world right now! Our kisses soon progressed to groping when our clothes were shed. We returned to the position we were born to exist together. Limbs tangled and souls merged. I missed her so much and now I had my girl back in my arms and soon I wouldn’t have to share her ever again. The world - our world - would know she was mine!

It was a good day. I made a mental note to thank Lara for the next time I saw her.

I woke up the next day with the biggest smile draped across my face. I felt the subtle ache in my cheeks, so I knew that the smile hadn't been a sudden occurrence; something told me it was present all night long. I felt a weight on my chest and saw my naked beauty sleeping peacefully on my chest. She nuzzled her head gently into my neck as she pulled my body closer to hers. I wrapped my arms around her and gently squeezed her towards myself. I was in heaven! The girl I loved was safe and peaceful in my arms and today she was going to publicly claim me as hers.

We got ready for school. We were sure to make the most of our time in the shower and made our walk to school just as the sun woke up. All the while, I was thankful that my mother was not at home to disrupt our domestic bliss - perks of having a mother that was always the first and last person at her work.

I greeted our friends with a bright smile and even brighter "good morning". They were more than surprised to see me, which makes sense given that I had been avoiding them for the past few weeks. I was equally surprised at how happy they were at my "return". That meant that my absence went noticed by them and that made me even happier than I was before. As impossible as it seems.

"What’s got you so smiley this morning? Also, what's been keeping you so busy lately, I feel like we never see you." The concerned voice belonged to the regal Victoria. She was what Fitzgerald saw in his mind's eye when he summoned the strength to describe beauty. I was touched by her concern and smoothly went on to explain the new additions to my extra-curriculum agenda.

I was buzzing all morning as I looked forward to breaking. That was the moment that Sage was going to announce our relationship. Everything I wanted to be was soon going to be mine and all I had to do now was wait until the bell rang.

Five minutes left!

5

4

3

2

"Don't forget to finish your assignment for tomorrow"

1

Finally!

I jetted out of the classroom and raced towards the cafeteria and immediately saw my love. She was laughing at something our friends were saying. When she saw me, she gave me a soft smile and it turned my heart to mush. I floated towards her. Her hand on my shoulder gave the green light to return my feet to Earth. I’d never been more certain of my love for her.

I squeezed her hand subtly and was very surprised that she didn't pull away. She didn't tense up at my touch or try to hide our contact from prying eyes. She moved closer to me and positioned our intertwined fingers so that they were on display for anyone who cared. They did. The table raised an eyebrow. She answered their confused looks with a bold kiss on my cheek.

I could feel my cheeks inflame. We spent the rest of the break explaining how we got together; an adapted version of the truth that painted over her cheating and other indiscretion with a more romantic palette. She put special emphasis on her renewed happiness. I lost count of how many times Sage repeated the phrase “I am totally over Lara” to her friends. Sage was quite convincing; she re-scripted our entire story to paint us as star crossed lovers torn apart by circumstances. Although her skill for deception should have raised a red flag, I couldn’t help falling further in love with her. To her, the ends justify the means. Being with me, having me in her life, was worth all the heartbreak she endured from those imposter suiters that had previously stood in my place. I was determined to be better than anyone before me. I was finally getting my chance to prove my love for her.

“Hey, Taylor, I saw you relay last week. It was great, brah,” Jacque, the golden boy of our quaint table said to me. It was the first time someone at the table had ever gone out of their way to talk to me. It was an unreal feeling to be included. Everyone else started piling on compliments surrounding my recent achievement outside of the classroom. Each compliment made Sage cuddle closer to me and smile at me brighter.

When everyone cleared the table, Lara remained seated. She simply looked at me with all the disappointment that could hope to fit into the endless space across two eyes. Sage made a show of kissing me deeply before leaving for her next class. Lara rolled her eyes and clenched her jaw at me.

"You're an i***t you know." A statement that left no room for discussion.

"What do you mean? I got what I wanted. She picked me. She isn't embarrassed by me anymore and now I can finally be with the girl I love." I was exasperated with her. Why wasn’t see happy for me?

"Are you even listening to yourself? You’re wasting your time to become 'worthy' of a girl who considers you more distraction than a person. Can't you muster enough love for yourself to prioritise yourself over someone who only sees you as a toy to pull out when she's bored or lonely?" There was genuine sadness in her eyes as she spoke.

"You're just bitter because she chose me." Lara gave me a look that made me feel smaller than I’d ever felt in my entire life.

Then she said the words that broke me right down my middle.

"The only reason she’s giving you the time of day is that I didn't want her. I can't be with someone who’d rather date an idea of love than an actual human being."

"What do you want from me?!" I was at my wit’s end. I just wanted to be happy but the a-hole opposite me was hell-bent on preventing that was happening.

"I just want you to stop being so f*****g weak! Just stand up for yourself - just once. It’s painful to watch you make a fool of yourself" She shook her head in exasperation as she spoke. Sadness seeped into her words as they crawled from her mouth with a tired and hopeless dragging tone in her voice. "I just thought after everything we spoke about yesterday that something would have sunk in by now. Guess you’re more of a lost cause than I thought you were" With that, she left the table. I remained in my seat, thinking about what she said.

I tried to replay her words in the back of my mind. They ate at me and I couldn’t stand the feeling, so I labelled the "Things I wish I never heard" and packed them at the very back of my cranial storage unit.

"What did she want to talk to you about?" Sage asked me curiously after my last class of the day. It was only natural for her to be curious about what her ex could have to say to her current girlfriend.

"She’s having a party for the athletes in the school. I joined the athletics team, so I guess I qualify to get an invitation." Such a particular lie. I didn't realise that it is true before I said it. I qualified now. The spark of pride was quickly snuffed out by my girlfriend’s snort.

"I think this is a way of proving a point." Sage looked annoyed at Lara’s fictitious ploy.

"What point could she possibly have to prove to me."

"Not you. Me. She wants to show that me dating you doesn't hurt her. God, she’s so infuriating." I didn't want her to dwell on the past, so I stopped her.

"Let's not think about her right now. You have better things to think about. For starter, would you like to go on a date with me?"

No word had ever sounded as life-changing as the “yes” that she used to reply to my nerve-shaking question.