Chapter 25
7.15 p.m.
How long did he stand there, finger poised? Julia invaded David’s head: Julia playing with her pram; Julia comforting little Jimmy when her mam had shouted; Julia washing the babygrow. Washing. That’s what he needed to do. He could taste the petrol in the air. It invaded his throat and spilled over into his eye sockets. He shuddered at just what he could have done to himself if he’d clicked that button.
He pelted the lighter down onto the heap of snow that had drifted into a pile behind the drum and remained there in the shadows, refusing to melt. Then he took off all his clothes and stuffed them into the dustbin by the light of the kitchen window. Maybe the neighbours could see. Maybe they’d be twitching their curtains and turning on all their lights to see what th
