Daring to love yourself

love at first sight

6:55am,her hair up and curly, her eyes are begging for just 10 more minutes in bed, she is still in her pyjamas, I mean her wrapper around her chest and her little adolescent body, her feet cold as ice, the harmattan isn't friendly at all, with the pile of dishes before her from the day before, she struggles to do her early morning chores before ever loving amoria is done with her casting and binding during her personal morning devotion.

Oh God, can she just stop talking already, i wonder how dad spent 10 years with this woman and still puts on a smile, just 15 and she is driving me crazy, you've been talking and shouting since God knows when!

"I really wish I could say it to her face, my ever perfect mom, but who am I to question her royal majesty....six feet straight away.

didn't I tell you to wash these spoons first, she exclaims from behind

but mom its still the same thing

Are you talking back at me?!, who asked you to talk

'saysha kept mute'

but am talking to you and you aren't answering me saysha, so you now take me as a mad woman!

but mom you instructed me not to talk and besi....

would you shut up and be done with that so you can do other things in this house, you lazy daughter of man

when I was in form 5 before civi .....she begins to tell tales of how hard life was for her, as a child...

I have heard that tale thousands of times , I would walk to Mauritania just to make her stop talking.

why can't African mothers just be normal

Sis Say!

her little sister calls from behind

can you just call me SAYSHA!!!

too long!,' she said pouting her little pink lips, she was always n***d but never left her foot bare, just after her 7th birthday pikia began wearing her shoes herself which probably seems like the only thing she did apart from eating and playing

So why do you call upon me?

am hungry

you know you have a mum for a reason right,

so why do you exist in my life if I may ask?

Pikia are you given wages to torment me, why can't you just be cute, gentle and dumb like other kids

I took after you minus your ugly face' smirking'

shut your rotten pipe you little termite!

'amoria walks in , pikia quickly acts like she has been tortured

you didn't just disobey me, you now call my angel a termite right, if I get a premature heart attack and die, you killed me with your troubles

why can't you just love your little sister, if not the way you love your friend, love her with the love of God Saysha

Saysha don't talk just keep mute if you dont wanna have a black eye

but Larry, she should defend herself

you have two seconds to decide baby girl before you are wiped out of here with her 'thorish' palms

now be done and get me some noodles for breakfast 'she walks away with pikia sobbing in her arms '

you made the right choice girl, now let's get out of this freezer, we are famished!

Soon Saysha is done, walks towards the gutter to throw away the water too bad she bumps into jobless johnny, always on his way to an interview, which happens to be his 5 days a week routine,

his white long sleeve and faded purple tie is soaked in dirty water, his trousers aren't spared too, little out of his clothes would have been left out if he wasn't so short thought saysha .

he stood there hands akimbo, mouth wide open with some rice and water dropping all over His face, seems he was still trying to comprehend how Saysha just ruined his life changing opportunity

I am so dead she said to herself

uncle johnny please don't shout, please dont let my mom hear you, I promise to give you my lunch till new year

first of all my name is John you bringer of disasters,

do you have any idea what you have just done?

sir it was an accident please forgive me

MRS Jameson!, john tried to call amoria but saysha quickly covers his mouth with her petite hands

please I beg you in the name of God don't call her, she would kill me

she definitely should Imprison and sentence you to death by drowning for what you have just done

I will do anything please

he flaps the file on his hand trying to dry them, your lunch till new year?, deal!?

half?

'he acts like he is going to talk to amoria '

Deal!!!

he smirks and walks back towards his apartment.

oh God now gravity is against me, people dont love me, they have finally convinced nature to make me get into trouble,

dont let them spoil our mood baby girl, I can't wait to meet our new friends

Larry I can't even keep real friends

now am offended

its just the truth said Julie

why do you always carry negativity Julie , saysha is a great person and I believe she will make real friends easily

Julie rolls her eyes ......my only concern now it breakfast

can we be done with this people

better go get that noodles before moria slaps rain on us

"my imaginary friends had a name for every action my mom did or anything she had, they didn't like to call her mom even though they were in my head, they simply added the action to moria, for example moria song even though it was sang by another artist, cause they believed no matter how melodious the musician made it sound, dear moria would murder and crush every atom of melody and rhythm even the artist would deny his own work.

I still wonder how my Dada as I like to call him married my mom, Dada was gentle, caring and kind to me and also to pikia, he didn't have a favorite, he treated us all equal, loved us more than himself, if I were to choose a dad in my next life it will still be Dear Mr Jameson, I love him to the moon, but if I were to choose a mom, in few words I just hope my Dada will be gay and he marries a man like himself, that will ease a lot of stress, you know they could always adopt me!.

...............................................

Woke up to the loud morning evangelist, saying all sorts of ridiculous things about hell fire,if it was all a sin, then 90% of the world should be really worried including myself, of all places he choose my backyard , my window to be precise to shout and sing annoying songs.

I wasn't a gentle sleeper, I have tried tying myself down severally to avoid waking up on the tilled floor, I gave up when it turned out tying myself gave me more inspiration to sleep roll over 'if that was even a thing'

I swept my private bungalow as I loved to call it, made my little student bed, the joy I woke up with wasn't measurable as it was a special day for me,it wasn't my birthday but this was far more wonderful, it was a wonderful thing I didn't have to share a room with pikia, I wonder how horrible my life would have been, anyway I wasn't gonna let dear amoria or pikia ruin my day, I was finally gonna be introduced to the beginning of life, what I had to worry about was my dads ever everlasting motivational speech

I shouldn't dare to forget dear aunt Stella , too bad she couldn't witness this day, very little memories of her I still feel her arms around me sometimes, I hate to say it but the love we shared was far more genuine than my own mom

I took her picture beside my bed where it has been after her burial 10 years ago, stared at her, felt a tear form around my eyeballs, my dad would come into my room anytime from now and I wouldn't want him to meet me crying, I dropped it very carefully like it was gonna drop and shatter if I was too fast, went to take my bath, brushed my afro withing few minutes I was ready for school, I went downstairs to take breakfast, and just the way I thought, my dad was already waiting for me with loads of scriptures to read....

good morning dad..

oh my baby, how was your night

excitement didn't even let me sleep properly but it was wonderful though

To God be the glory, so I hope you have packed up your textbooks and your lunch

yes dad

now let's put you in prayers

so what did I miss father and daughter' moria walks in'

we were just about to start praying

oh let me host that

' why does she always have to come when she isn't needed, she wasn't just a warrior , she is a living bible, she would bind every Bindable and cast out spirits she hasn't even heard of'.

if only prayer was the key to heaven, my mom would be the first,

after 30 minutes of annoying Jesus, I packed my bag left the house trying my best to avoid jobless Johnny, too bad his apartment was unavoidable, he came out just when I was about to escape

trying to break an oath I see,

he annoyingly walks over to me and poses like a dwarf model' I was so annoyed, I wish I could give him a nice knock on the head to fix any broken thing in his system'

you wouldn't like it, I packed junks

leave that for me to decide sweetheart

so would you pass it or I should grab it

i passed him my lunch unwillingly, he immediately opened it and his face lit up'

owww my favourite, 'blows me a kiss' you are such a darling, dont forget to add more protein tomorrow!!

I walk away grumbling 'such a nice day and jobless johnny had to ruin it for me, such a pain in the a*s, I hope he relocates soon, I promise to personally write his eviction notice if he doesn't pay up his rent this year......

I am the land daughter he should respect me !!...

I took a bus from the bus stop to my soon to be alma matter, within 10 minutes I was standing at the school gate

I couldn't move a feet, I never knew there were so much pupils in public schools, how on earth am I suppose to fit in,

look at all these dope shoes, a girl walks past me and I couldn't help but admire her, she look so fabulous, every thing on her was trending, I wish I was half as beautiful as her.

The building was so large, spotted some teachers chit chatting

so unprofessional!!, you should be planning your lesson notes and putting these kids in order!, I looked around, this wasn't as good as my old school, but my dad says I have to go so I dont have a choice, the walls were made of brown bricks with roofs as old as Mr troyt, the principal must be a lover of nature, the amount of trees and flowers were more than I expected.

I walked into the class, there wasn't any teacher everyone were either sitting on their locker or making out, I decided to sit next to the guy in ruffled shirt reading, he looked intimidating but he was reading which meant he was a good student and I wanted to engage with people who wouldn't make my grades bad.

Hi

'doesn't say a word '

hi, can I sit here

still mute

'at this point everyone was staring at me, talking in hushed tunes'

you could sit there, make yourself another gobshite girl, isn't that interesting gobshite girl and boy, she said

'everyone starts laughing'

'how on earth could people find that funny,that was such an offensive language'

mute boy got offended:

what did you just call me ?

Gobshite and what are you gonna do about it, 'I couldn't talk, I felt minding my business was the best decision to take '

are you gonna just let these people trash you like that saysha

better dont give her a black eye with your bad advises Julie

being bad is better than being a coward Larry

' he makes a move to punch the girl whom I am yet to know

and what the hell is going on here

' everyone suddenly puts themselves in order

so am guessing this is the geography teacher cause I heard geography teachers are the meanest people around'

sit down and shut up' she says authoritatively'

and what are you doing there young lady!

I dont have a seat yet ma

I choose to believe you are stupid but not blind to see that vacant seat beside you!

now sit!!!!!

'oh God I thought this was suppose to be the best day of my life, I sit close to gobshite, first day at school and am already gobshite 2, I hope it doesn't get worst'.

' she turned to write on the white board then the most handsome guy I have seen in my life walks in , such a treat to my eyes, this just made my day, he was about 6'7, with broad shoulders, he had curly shiny hair, coupled with a perfectly straight nose and bright pink lips, he must be 3-5 years older than me but who cares'.

Mr's perfect is gonna woop his a*s for coming this later, it was already 20 minutes after the class started, but she didn't say a word, he walks past her without greeting, Gobshite girl moves for him to sit, he looked at her and she smiled, he tried to move his backpack and it accidentally hit her on the face, without a sorry he walks over to sit beside me '.

oh my gosh, I could tell that even though I hard dark skin, my checks were red, gobshite girl looked so embarrassed, I could bet she was exceptionally furious, she gave me that 'you are gonna pay for this look, or was jobless johnny really right that I was a magnet for badluck.

now everybody pay attention, get ready to take your first test in 'she pauses and take a look at her watch' 5 minutes!

Mam!! 'I tried to call her attention

I just resumed today, can you please postpone the test till tomorrow

Even if you were the President's daughter, which you aren't, I wouldn't postpone the test because of you or even the whole class, Textbooks are made for a reason

you kids don't read anymore!

I thought prince charming was a sign from God I was gonna have a nice first day, but miss Linda was definitely a big billboard with misfortune written on it, I could tell she didn't like me from the first moment she walked in, how on earth am I suppose to take a geography resumption test in less that one hour after resumption...I really can't wait for today to be over.