Home Lane.

86942 Home Lane Where rat poison coffee just made him sick enough to make us happy and the snap of a belt kissing your skin was hard enough to leave a mark on your soul. Empty gun shells were mini tombstones for family friends that talked to ticking time bombs filled with hate and gang pride. The first lesson we learn is that girls wear pink and the magic of makeup can cover up any scar. Crying for nothing only earns you a D**nGoodReasonToBeCrying and saying, “Shut the f**k up” is always addressed towards children. Monsters are real, you have to fight one every day. We just call ours Dad. Never to Blame Growing up, I heard people make the same excuses for Dad So many times, that I actually started to believe them. Took a knife carved them into my skin and lived them. My favorite was, “Your Dad is not a bad person, he just doesn’t know what he is doing.” Doesn’t know what he is doing? I think about it now and wonder what it is That he doesn’t know he is doing Or how to do. Maybe he didn’t realize that children become adults that only hold on to the shitty things that parents do. Hold on too them like the last life preserve on a boat that is sinking fast. Replay those moments so many times in your head that they begin to outshine all the good memories that you have ever had. Force yourself to dig deeper into your past But all you find is more dirt. Ask yourself why it is you cannot forgive Because they say that forgiveness ends all hurt. But my hurt runs so deep That I fear it will never end. He says, “I love you” But still his eyes are not open. They see a loving father and a sincere hug When will they understand that every embrace only forces his knives in my back to sink deeper. Every time I confront him with what he has done, and he denies. My will grows weaker. I don’t mean my will to live I mean my will to have him in my life. The happiest day of my life Was when I heard he finally f****d up so big that no excuse could fix it. Pigs may not fly, but they do extradite They say he won’t get out until I am well over forty-five. To them this may sound cold But trust me his party like a gangsta mentality gets old. I may be his daughter But let’s get this s**t straight He’s never been my father or made me feel safe.