My Escape

I got married young. Two months into it, I fully understood why everyone says not to. I was twenty-three years old, sacrificing my youth to dote over a man who really didn’t want anything to do with me. At least, not unless he was hurting me. I almost cancelled the wedding, you know. But my family chipped in and bought me a dress and rented a venue and I didn’t want to seem ungrateful. I didn’t want to disappoint them. Again. I guess I thought he’d change after we actually got married. Hah. If anything, everything was worse. He was bolder in his mistreatment of me. More cruel. Almost as if he enjoyed watching me cry. Like he couldn’t get enough of my suffering. I wanted nothing more in the whole world than to go back in time, and say no. Break up with him. Get my freedom back. But I couldn’t. He told me he’d kill me if I tried to leave, and I believed him. One small positive thing, however, is that Shane worked overnights. So I had 12 hours, from 6pm to 6am, all to myself. To do whatever I wanted. To be whoever I wanted. And that’s how I ended up on randomchat.com at one am on a Tuesday, tears streaming down my face, and wine glass in hand. I knew in my heart that what I was doing was wrong. I knew I made a commitment in front of God and everybody, and that pretending to be someone else, unmarried and free, was breaking that commitment. And I knew that if my husband found out, he’d probably beat me within an inch of my life. I didn’t care. So I hit the connect button, and for a few hours, behind a keyboard, I was someone else. I still used my first name; I’m not that creative. But I wasn’t Shane’s wife anymore. The first few chats were fairly normal, by randomchat standards. I got a couple old guys asking for online s*x, a quirky teenager, more than one unsolicited d**k pic, and a middle aged woman just looking to make friends. Nothing out of the ordinary. And then there was Arthur. I could tell from the moment he said hello that there was something different about him. He was eloquent, polite, and genuinely wanted to learn more about me, the person behind the screen. I could just be romanticizing the situation, as I was definitely wine drunk, but I swear I was captivated by him. I learned so much about him, and I liked it all. He was a 32 year-old English professor at University of Vienna in Austria. He was an only child. He had a cat named Emily. His favorite color was green, and he loved to sketch in his spare time. We talked for THREE HOURS before I realized how late it’d gotten. I was running out of time. I gave him my w******p, deleted my browser history, and crossed my fingers that he’d message me. In the meantime, I needed to start making ‘dinner,’ as Shane expects it to be ready as soon as he arrives home. I don’t keep w******p downloaded on my phone, by the way. I install it after Shane leaves, and delete it before he gets home. I made dinner, ate with Shane, and got ready for bed. Arthur was on my mind the entire time. I had no idea at this time what I was getting myself into. But I was soon to find out. The next evening, after Shane left for work, I installed w******p (again), and noticed I had several messages from a number I didn’t recognize. My heart swelled. Arthur. I messaged him back immediately. Me: Hey you! I was worried I’d never hear from you again. A: You really think I’d let the one normal conversationalist I met go? I don’t think so. There are only so many d**k pics a man can take. :P I chuckled to myself. Me: I know how you feel. Anyway.. I meant to ask. Can you send me a picture? It doesn’t have to be anything special, I just want to put a face to the name. Since we’re going to keep in touch :) A: Sure! You’ve got to send me one of you, too, though. He sent me a picture. Oh man... when I say I audibly gasped... he was even more lovely than I expected. Tan, blue eyes, strong jaw. Glasses. If you can imagine Clark Kent, that’s who he looked like. I knew that realistically he was too old for me, but I didn’t care. I had a full blown crush already. I sent one back. A: Well look at you! Me: Look at you! Nice to meet you (again)? Haha. He didn’t respond for about twenty minutes, but then I got a notification for a message from him. Another picture. It was his cat, Emily. She was an elegant white cat with long fur and gold eyes. Me: Is that Emily? She’s beautiful. A: It is! She is my pride and joy. I realized I didn’t introduce you to her properly, so here she is. Me: Give her chin scratches from me, will you? A: Of course. Me: Arthur, this is off topic, but there’s something I didn’t tell you yesterday. A: Oh? Me: I thought about it, but I didn’t want to tell him yet that I was married. Me: Yeah. I never told you where I’m from. I live in Seattle. If you’re ever in town, hit me up, will you? A: Ooooh Seattle! Aren’t you cool. I doubt I’ll ever make my way over there, but if I do, you’ll be the first to know. A: I need to go soon, but I wanted to send you something. Me: More pictures of Emily? Hopefully? A: No! I’m going to send you a playlist of my favorite songs. I feel like you can learn a lot about someone by their taste in music (or books!) so I’m hoping you’ll send me one as well. If we’re going to be friends, I want to really know you. Me: That’s so cool :’) Me: Yeah, let me get you a link to my spotify playlist, hang on. I went to copy the link, and got a notification from Arthur. A: Here’s my playlist [spotify link: Arthur K’s Favorite Songs] I sent him mine, and that was the end of the conversation. I followed his playlist, uninstalled w******p, and went to lay in bed and listen to his music. The playlist started with Vienna by Billy Joel (which I found ironic), and I found myself peacefully drifting off to sleep. That was a MISTAKE.