Postmidnight Thoughts

the oblivious

"So, I guess that's that, then!"

Matt grunted, giving out a victorious sigh, and leaned back on his swivel chair. It had been a long lunch meeting since early that morning. Matters that they had been preparing for since early last year were finally being put in motion. Because he was the sound engineer and producer, Zach regularly met with and consulted with Matt. They would have a meeting together about Zach’s songs more often than not.

But Zach wasn't really listening to him. Meeting was over, and he was in a different mindset now. After setting all the business-related things aside, he focused on the matter he had on hand: texting Jude. Specifically, he was busy asking what his friend wanted to eat. He would barging in on the man’s home again, after all. He didn’t want to come empty-handed. Despite his slim but muscular frame, Jude ate a lot and was never satisfied with just a few helpings.

Matt called for his attention again.

"Hey, Zach. Are you listening?"

Zach nodded but didn’t look up.

"Yeah, yeah. Just give me a sec."

His fingers were typing away at his screen: 'A bucket of fried chicken, lots of barbeque, and buckets of spicy sauce for Boss. Got it', he sent to Jude in reply.

When he finished sending the message, he looked up at Matt and smiled. "What did you say again?"

Matt rolled his eyes.

As if holding back a sigh, the producer ran his tongue over his front teeth. Zach noticed this was something his friend liked to do whenever he was paying close attention to something.

As he predicted, the older man crossed his arms, still leaning back on the swivel chair, and smirked at him. When he did, Matt dropped his business persona to give Zach a teasing but friendly smile.

He tilted his head to the side. "Let me guess who you're texting."

Zach gave him a look. He didn’t respond.

"Your texting your husband," Matt finally said, as if it made any sense.

He grimaced. "Husband?"

"You know who I'm talking about."

Zach just laughed. "Okay. How'd you know it was Jude?"

At that, Matt rolled his almond-shaped brown eyes. “Really?”

"No, seriously. How did you know?"

"Aside from the fact that you only have a few close friends, you text Jude about every little thing. It wasn't that hard to guess."

"You're making it sound weird, man."

"And you're making it sound platonic," he said with an emphasis at the end.

"Whaaaaat?" Zach narrowed his eyes at Matt. The two of them stood and started heading out the door. "Dude, it’s not like that."

Matt scoffed. “So what is it like?”

“We’re bros,” he reasoned.

"Right."

"No, seriously. I mean, Jude is straight as a ruler."

Matt laughed. "And you're not?"

"Well, I am. That should have been a given."

"Okay... So does that mean that if he's not straight, you'll—?" Matt held out his fist and began doing stabbing motions in the air. Zach couldn't help but laugh at that, and he lightly punched Matt on the shoulder instead of responding.

They walked down the hall to the elevator, making their way to the lower basement parking without a sound. When they got to the parking lot, Zach began walking to his car, the producer following behind. Being the older among the two of them, Matt always felt the need to see Zach off, as if he were some sort of babysitter.

When they got to where Zach had parked his black Altis, Matt gave him another smile and said, "So... Say 'hello' to Jude for me."

Zach paused just as he grabbed the door. "Okay. How did you—?" Matt gave him a knowing smirk, making him stop short. "You know what? I'm not even gonna ask."

Matt just nodded. "As you should. Drive safely to Jude's, kid."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I will."

Hopping in the driver’s seat, Zach closed the door behind him. He started his engine and then drove out of the company building.

As he began driving out into the bright afternoon sky, Zach watched the company building from his rear-view mirror. He watched it get smaller and smaller while his smile grew wider and wider. While he continued to drive, the smile on his face remained. He grinned like an i***t, stomach still filled with butterflies from the news.

The singer took a deep breath to compose himself. He failed. It finally sunk in.

A solo concert. A f*****g solo concert. Finally! After working his eyebrows off for years, he was finally going to perform in one of the biggest stages in the country. In a show. By himself.

Even thinking about it felt like a dream. It felt like only yesterday when he was just the opening act for acts bigger than he could be. Zach couldn't help but reminisce about the days he only dreamed about everything that had been happening now. The days when he wondered if he would still be a thing tomorrow. Those days sure seemed far away.

Then, Zach thought about Jude.

Despite the chaos of his life and career, Zach was one lucky guy for having someone like Jude. He wasn't just Zach's lyricist. He was Zach's constant. He was a good friend, a shoulder to lean on, a close confidant, and his emotional pillar. Jude was there to call him out on most of his bullshit and encourage him to take risks in his career. Being the blessing that he was, Zach sometimes wondered how in the world Jude got stuck with him.

And Jude never asked for anything in return. Although he sometimes jokes about a larger pay, Zach had never seen Jude get tired of him. He would always be smiling or laughing. Sometimes, Zach wondered if there was anything he could do to make it up to Jude, to get him to smile often, and laugh even more. Zach might not be the best friend Jude deserved, but he wanted to make him happy just the same.

Then, he wondered what his reaction would be if he told him about the concert. The two of them had been friends since forever, and Zach liked to think he could predict his friend’s reaction. He would be ecstatic, for certain, maybe even more ecstatic than Zach. He would probably snap his head in Zach’s direction, eyes going wide. And then Jude would say, 'Are you for real?' in a squeaky voice that was happy but still surprised.

Zach laughed. The imagery was so vivid. He could hear his friend's voice in his head so clearly, Jude might as well have been sitting on the passenger seat. Even in his imagination, his friend was good company to have.

Still thinking about Jude, Zach drove to a wide street just ahead of his company building. There was a less crowded area there that he and Jude frequented where rows of food stalls lined the streets. Turning the corner, the singer decelerated and stopped in front of one particular stall. With his windows still down, he smiled looking at trays of barbeque and fried meat on sticks the vendor was tending to. Jude would probably choke on those once he heard the good news.

“Hey, man. How’s it going?” Zach greeted. He rolled his windows down and gave the middle-aged man a big smile.

Surprised, the vendor leaned over to him, eyes wide in shock. No matter how many times Zach came to the man for barbeque, he still seemed dazed talking to a celebrity. Zach saw him swallow then wipe his hands. The man smiled and greeted him in response.

“Sir Zach! Good afternoon!” the vendor said.

Zach kept his charming smile up. “Afternoon. Busy day?”

“Not too busy, sir. Will you be having anything?”

“Barbeque,” he replied. “Lots of it. Put in lots of chicken, please.”

“Will do, sir.”

The vendor hurried to grab a paper container and began putting freshly grilled barbeque inside it. Zach counted about twenty sticks that Jude could easily finish by himself. The man closed the pack and put it in a plastic bag. Then, he grabbed a sealed water cellophane filled with a murky yellowish-brown liquid.

Zach c****d his head.

"Is that the really spicy sauce?" he asked.

“Yes, sir,” the man replied.

“How much?”

"Oh. I-It's free, sir."

"Ah, no... I actually meant... You have an entire tub, right? Can I buy that?"

The man looked perplexed.

"The... tub, sir?" he clarified, gazing at the tub of spiced vinegar to his left. "Ah, I'm afraid it's not for sale, sir."

"Oh... Why?"

"It’s… for the other customers, sir."

“So… I can’t have it?”

The man fell silent.

"How about…” Zach thought for a second, “I give you 3000, and then you can give me the tub. And I'll return the container to you tomorrow."

"T-Three thousand is too much, sir!" the vendor stammered at his offer.

"Nah, come on. It's not too much at all. It's that good."

The older man blushed. "Well..."

"Come on, man," Zach said, winking at him. "It's a special occasion. Help me out a little bit."

The vendor handed Zach the plastic bags containing his barbeque. Then, he sighed and took the tub out. He gave it one last look before handing it over to Zach, too.

“Please return the container to me tomorrow,” he pleaded.

Zach nodded. "Much obliged." He beamed at the man widely and he handed him more bills than he actually needed to. “Keep the change.”

"Eh, sir... You must really like the sauce, huh?"

"Oh, no," Zach chuckled. "I can't handle spicy stuff. This is... a friend really likes it so... it's a gift."

With that, he rolled his window back up. Feeling smug, Zach began to drive in the direction of Jude’s apartment with his purchase in hand.

Spicy food, barbeque, shiny new hardware, and robot miniatures. Those were the small things that made Jude happy. Those were also the only things Zach could give just to see his rare toothy smiles, the ones that made him look like a five-year-old. And though it may seem simple, but those were the only ways Zach could repay Jude for all his hard work and his general presence in Zach's life. After all, what would he be without his best and most reliable friend?

'You're making it sound platonic,' Matt had said. Zach just chuckled at the thought.

It wasn't the first time people had mistaken them as a couple. Zach blamed his own clinginess, not hesitating to touch Jude even in public. His friend never said anything about it, and Zach knew Jude secretly liked being pet or touched. On the other hand, Jude was almost everywhere Zach was. And everyone knew that if they wanted to get in touch with Zach, Jude was the person to go to.

Their relationship might not seem like the usual friendship. But that was just how close they were as friends. Zach was glad to have someone be so permissive of his weirdness. Jude looked happy working by Zach’s side.

As for everyone else, they just misunderstand. People were just biased. They might be a little bit different, but their friendship was totally normal between close friends.

This is totally normal, he thought to himself as he fixed his clothes. He just arrived at the building and was standing right in front of Jude's door. On one hand, he was carrying the bags of food. In the other, he was holding the tub of Jude’s favorite spiced vinegar.

“I’m here!” he yelled, knocking on the door with his boots.

It took Jude a few seconds to respond from behind the door.

"It must be really good news if you forgot to use the keys again," came his friend’s voice. When Jude opened the door, he had one eyebrow c****d as he smirked. In the dying sun’s rays, his silver hair glowed orange.

But Zach’s vision went directly to Jude’s, his brown orbs reflecting the color of the beautiful sunset.

He smiled even wider. "You'll never guess what it is."

When Jude rolled his eyes, Zach let out a laugh, and they both walked inside Jude's apartment. 

They passed by the small living room and went to the kitchen. Jude had his toolbox and a few other trinkets on the table, so while Zach put everything down, he set his stuff aside.

Jude had been an engineering nerd before he was Zach’s lyricist. He had given that career up for some reason, but he still made it a hobby every now and then. Sometimes, Zach would see him making something engineering-related, but Jude never talked to him about any of it.

"You still not done with your passion project?" Zach asked, motioning to Jude's collection of sundry mechanical items. Jude seemed to be making a robot of some sort.

"Nah, haven't gotten the time," he replied as he took out some juice from the fridge. Jude stopped that line of thought when he recognized the tub of spiced vinegar Zach laid on the kitchen table. "You bought the entire f*****g tub?"

Zach shrugged.

"Well, yeah. You like that sauce, don't you?"

Jude gaped at him. "Yes, but—what... ugh... geez."

"I'm going to return it tomorrow," he assured.

"Well, you'd better, dork," Jude told him. "'Cause in case you didn’t notice, you have a bad habit of not returning plastic containers."

“Do not.”

“Do, too.”

"Uh, whatever. Anyway…" Zach started before Jude could start a litany. He sat on the kitchen counter while his companion took out the food and laid them on the table. "So! I...” he paused for dramatic flair, “am all set for a solo concert."

He kept his eyes fixed on his friend.

Three, two, one... 

Zach counted down the millisecond it took for Jude to react.

As he imagined, Jude whipped his head in his direction, eyes bulging from his sockets, and then yelled, "Are you for real?!"

Zach laughed. It was just as he predicted, from the way Jude's head turned right to the way his thick eyebrows shot straight up his forehead. Maybe Jude was predictable like that. Or maybe it was because Zach could predict him so easily.

Jude put both hands on the sides of his head, clutching his gray strands in disbelief.

"We've been working on it since forever. We’ll finally get to announce in a few days," Zach told him, grinning. "Surprised?"

“How come I never knew about this?”

“Well, we tried to keep it a big secret until the last minute.”

Jude’s jaw slackened. "Dude! This is great news! We should celebrate!"

"That's why I'm here!" Zach said, hopping off the counter and pulling Jude in a one-armed side hug. “And what’s a better way to celebrate than barbeque and spiced vinegar, huh?”

“Oh, my gods. You really… A concert… Wow.”

"Well, let’s talk about that while we’re eating. You look like you wanna dig into the barbeque."

"Ugh, I'm salivating just thinking about the sauce."

Jude looked like he still couldn't believe what Zach had told him, but his arm was around Zach's waist and patting him proudly... just like Zach knew he would. And because he was proud, Zach felt proud, too.

Jude kept talking as he prepared the table for the two of them. He yammered on and on about concert preparations and songs and logistics. He was getting ahead of himself, but Zach let him. The singer just watched him from the side, feeling very smug that he somehow made Jude happy, too.

This was just how he and Jude were, Zach thought to himself. Jude would celebrate Zach’s victories as if they were his own. Zach would spoil Jude with just about anything he could. They worked like that, and they were both happy like that. And if it were up to Zach, he thought everyone should have a friendship like theirs.

To have someone who stays and accepts his weirdness unconditionally. To have someone who would be happy when he’s happy. Someone would be proud at even his smallest accomplishments.

Zach looked at Jude again and thought, this is our normal. And if it wasn’t already someone else’s, then they were all surely missing out.