ReWritten

Chapter 3 TW

TW: Contains depictions of abuse, murder, and strong implications of non-consentual behavior.

Chapter 3

Morning came too soon for Nevaeh. The first rays of sunshine peeking in the short, raised escape window found her still spread out on the bed, light on, surrounded by shoe boxes full of old pictures. Bright, happy faces smiled up at her through the glossy photographs scattered across her bed. Most of them were high school memories: Michael and her at his locker on the first day of his freshman year, another of them at his locker, Nev donning a cap and gown, and a third with the similar theme, only Michael was graduating. There were proms and homecomings, marching band and swim meets, jazz band and dance team. There wasn't a single memory that he wasn’t a part of, and Nev had decided that finding him and introducing “Uncle Michael” to Ava topped her priority list of ways to make her life right again.

Several boxes into her jaunt down memory lane, she had unearthed photos of her college years including her roommate and bestie, Tracy and a few shots of her university Cologuard team. As she thumbed through the memories, she played with the idea of going back to school. Classwork had always come easy to her and a business degree, which was what she was pursuing when she met Dave, was something that would never go out of style. Nearly a decade had gone by since she last stepped foot in a classroom. Did she honestly think, at almost 30, as a single mom, she could still handle the commitment that was “higher education”? Dave had never really believed she could finish her degree, and even though she didn’t particularly agree, she didn’t see why she should finish. Dave made enough to take care of her. And especially after Ava was born, Nev saw how there was nothing more important than staying at home to take care of the family. Dave always said the menial house worked suited her better, anyways. He needed her home full time, it was better for...Nevaeh gasped, losing her train of thought as an image caught her eye. Scanning her memories, she knew his face instantly and her heart squeezed tightly in her chest when she thought of what could have been had she recognized all she could have had in Jay Bishop Mitchell. What she wouldn’t give to reconnect with him, or better yet, simply turn back the hands of time.

Surfer Jay was, to date, her biggest regret. She recalled his 6'3” frame clothed in permanently tanned skin from long summers working, swimming, and playing in the sun. He was a competitive swimmer, just as she was, and definitely had the build for it: broad shoulders, large biceps , a thin, long torso, thick thighs and slender feet. His bleach blonde hair fell in ocean waves just past his shoulders and his blue eyes glimmered like sapphires. They were such a clear crystal blue that she often thought she could see straight through them, into his soul. He may have been a born and bred Kansan, but he looked like a displaced Californian. His nickname arose long before she ever met him, from an old high school friend who fancied drawing caricatures.

They met, almost ten years ago, on the steps of her dormitory the day she moved in. Her father was in one of his moods, too impatient to let her move herself in, so he had left her on the front steps with not so much as a “good luck.” Beginning with her suitcases, she began methodically bringing up piece by piece to the third floor, hoping nothing was stolen while she was gone. Soon, she noticed, some of her boxes were missing indeed, but by no thief. The quiet Surfer Jay had simply been silently helping her carry her things to her new home.

There was an instant attraction between the two of them, which Nev promptly ignored, considering it had only been last month that she had accepted Alec's proposal. She was bound and determined to make this long distance thing work and at the end of next summer when they were still saying their “I do's” she'd show all those naysayers just what it takes to be a dedicated, devoted fiancee, even hours away. Little did she know, it was Alec who would have the difficulty being a dedicated, devoted fiancee living hours apart.

Regardless of her marital status, however, Jay and she became great friends. He was, for the time being, the only person she knew on campus and, coincidentally, also lived on the third floor. In time, the awkwardness of their original attraction faded giving way to a much stronger, platonic love. He often came home with her, or more realistically, gave her a ride home, to visit her friends, family, and fiancee she'd left behind. Jay and Michael got along swimmingly, and it became their running joke that Jay was her “college Mike.”

Her memories of freshman year danced about in her cloudy, sleepless mind. Looking back, Nev now realized it was her last year of true innocence. Nine years ago today, a summer began that ruined everything. She could blame Alec, or that caricature drawing, high school friend of Jay's, Sawyer, or her dad. She could even blame God and she did. But now, standing at the end of the wreckage that began that summer, she could see that the fault was purely hers for the choices she made. How many times had she wished she could go back and do it all again. The tears came again, for the third time in the past twelve hours, but this time she did not hold back. Nev let them fall until she felt as if her body would shrivel from dehydration. She cried until her eyes stung and her sockets hurt, for Jay, Michael, Tracy, and everyone she had left behind for Dave. She cried for Ava and for herself. She cried until she could stay conscious no more.

She woke to the sound of a tiny giggle. Opening her heavy-lidded eyes, she saw a tender face, inches away from her own. The tiny black eye nearly broke her heart, but Nev had no more tears. “Nana says get up, Mami.” Ava spoke to her mother with a no-nonsense tone that discouraged disobedience, even of a three year old. “She says Papi is at work.” Nana code for “go get your things while it's safe.”

She rolled over and sat up, swinging her legs to the floor. Ava pulled her hand, and she allowed her daughter to drag her up the stairs to the kitchen where Nana was already making lunch. “I didn't know you were off today,” Nev spoke through a yawn, still rubbing the sleep out of one eye.

“I called in so that we could take care of a few things.” She smiled. “Sandwich?”

“No thanks, not hungry quite yet.” She pulled out a chair from the breakfast nook and plopped down as hard as 145 pounds could plop. “I didn't get to sleep until the sun came up.”

Her mother frowned at her. “Doing something a little more constructive than fretting about, I hope.”

“I though a lot about what I want out of life. Goals I’ve always wanted to achieve and those I never knew I had. I think I want to go back to school, Mom.”

“I think that’s great, but before that you’ll need to go get a few of your things. Is Dave at work?”

Nev glanced at the clock, 1pm. “Yep, probably just got back from lunch. It means I have a few hours. I should get over there.”

“Ok, I’ll watch Ava.”

Nev stood, turning to head back through the heavy white door. “Thanks, Mom,” she spoke over her shoulder as she clomped back down the steps to find her shoes.

Fifty minutes later, Nev found herself in the parking lot of a large apartment complex. Her palms were sweaty and stuck to the steering wheel. She had been sitting there for over fifteen minutes just staring up at the second story apartment she shared with Dave, or used to share with Dave. Used to... she liked the sound of that. There were so many things she “used to” do that she couldn't wait to throw to the wind. There we're also “used to”s that she couldn't wait to pick back up again; like sewing or laughing. Finally, with a myriad of “use to”s to bolster her confidence, she climbed out of the car and headed towards the door.

Her keys shook in her hands, but she figured the quicker she got in the quicker she could get out. She didn't need everything, just a few items to get them through until things simmered down. The key clicked in the lock and the door swung open. Nev stepped in and jogged down the hallway to Ava's room, on the right. She wanted to get going before the memories overwhelmed her.

For her third birthday, Nev's daughter had insisted she needed “proper luggage,” whatever that meant to a three year old. She had picked out this set of pink bags with little butterflies embroidered randomly across the front. The suitcase was a small overnight bag on wheels and the cosmetic bag had a built-in mirror that Ava loved. She pulled the now dusty set out of her closet and emptied her dresser into the suitcase. It was not neat or organized, but it was everything she would need: underwear, socks, shorts, t-shirts and an occasional skirt. In the closet, she picked out three of her favorite dresses and half a dozen pairs of shoes, cramming them in as well.

She rolled the suitcase to the door and headed back, hanging a left into her own room. Nev also had a matching set of, not pink, but lime green luggage. Her's had a few more pieces, for which she was grateful. There was no way all her stuff was fitting in one bag. She began at the dresser, pulling out t-shirts and tank tops that were plain, dull, and demur. When she got back, the first of her “used to”s she was going to resurrect was altering these clothes. After filling two suitcases and an overnight bag, she drug them to the door as well.

Heading back one last time, she carried with her the two cosmetics bags. Trying, as best she could, to keep their things separate, Nev cleaned out the bathroom of all things female. She dug through the cabinets under the sink to find a few extra pull-ups for Ava, just in case, threw them in her bag, covering them with her hair brush, toothbrush, toothpaste, and various headbands, clips and ponytail holders. She tucked Ava's shower essentials in her own bag, along with the lotions and other various bathroom products. She was starting to get antsy. With every car that drove by, she froze until it pulled away in the distance. She constantly checked the time to make sure Dave wasn't heading home yet, and finally she decided it was time to go when she jumped at the sound of a car door slamming, hitting her head against the open medicine cabinet door.

It only took her three trips to get everything in the car. On the last trip, she took the key to the apartment off her ring, set it on the entryway table, locked the door and left. It didn't need a note, her intentions were perfectly clear. Nev was never coming back.

When Nevaeh arrived home, it was empty. Nana had left a note on the dining room table where Nev set her purse down.

Nev,

Took Ava out for a little Nana time. Thought you could use the peace and quiet. We probably won't be back til sometime after supper. Love ya!

Nana

P.S. I emptied out the dresser in the nursery and one downstairs for you.

If you need another one we can go shopping this weekend.

She picked up her phone and keys, shoving them into denim pockets, and left everything else on the table. Heading outside, she stopped for a moment to feel the breeze on her cheeks. It was unusually warm for May and the first few beads of sweat had already formed under her mop of hair, threatening to fall away and roll down the nape of her neck.

After three trips the car was empty, however the foyer was cluttered with green and pink luggage. Deciding to start with Ava, she grabbed the two pink bags and headed up the stairs directly to the right of the entrance. After unpacking Ava's wardrobe, Nev moved to the bathroom and quickly emptied the small cosmetic bag. She paused for a moment, looking around as she neatly folded the bag. Home, she was finally home and it had never felt so free. She wandered down the hallway, feeling the carpet between her toes, smiling at the old stains that littered it. Placing one bag inside the other, she placed them in the closet she and her sister used to lock themselves into, with the lights off, playing Michael Jackson's “Thriller” time and time again. No matter what happened, this was her safe haven. Even when things seemed bad with Daddy, she knew he would let her come home. It was a good place to start again. May 11th, 2010... it was a good day to start again.

Lighthearted, she ambled back down the stairs and grabbed two of her own lime green suitcases. The stairwell to the basement was at the other end of the house, by the back door. It was, as a matter of fact, so close to it that you could not open both doors at once. She walked her luggage to the bottom of the stairs and headed back up for the rest. She took the steps two at a time excited, for the first time, about her future. Closing the basement door, she opened the back door to let in the breeze and strong scent of May flowers. She thought about life without Dave, being under Nana's roof again, and Ava, sweet Ava's new chance.

Of course, it wouldn’t be all roses. Regardless of what Nana said, she insisted on getting a job. She knew her mother would never trap her the way Dave did, but she would never again be without her own source of income. It created a sense of worthlessness she never anticipated. And, whether or not she accepted it, Nev planned on helping Nana pay for her college courses. Because of that secret life insurance policy Daddy took out on himself, her mother could afford it, but Nev didn’t want to take advantage. Neither did she care to be beholden to any of her father’s money. However, she was curious as to his motives behind such action. He never seemed to really care for Nana’s well being in life, so why would he care for it in death?

Reaching down for her final two bags, Nev felt a joy bubble up inside of her that she thought she had lost years ago. She let it be shaken up like a pop bottle until she was sure she would burst. The hallway no longer stood before her leading to the staircase, but leading to life, her life, her new, free life. Picking up her bags, she headed down her hallway to life, only to pause three steps in for a knock at the front door.

It was a forceful knock, strong and determined like a salesman prepared to never take no for an answer. But as she turned around, her heart thudded to a stop. Dave stood on the porch, his deep black eyes glaring into her soul from behind the palm-sized windows of the front door. He bellowed, pounding fiercely on the door at the sight of her. “Let me in, Nev! We're going home!” His voice seemed to shake the very foundation she was standing on, and for a moment she felt as if she might faint. Yet as his hand began to turn the knob, fear overtook her body, jolting her into action. Dropping her things, she leaped over them and bounded to the door. Heaving her whole body, she slammed it against the door, shoving it back into place. Immediately she slipped the deadbolt into place.

“Open this door! Open this door, Nevaeh!” With her back against the door, Nev slid down to the floor. Her body shook with every beat against the flimsy barrier. He thundered above her with the rage of a spring storm. “You think this will stop me, Nev? I will break it down and drag you out on your...” His voice trailed off.

For a moment, she thought it was all too good to be true until she lifted her head to peek out of one of the tiny windows. His eyes were affixed on something just past her and his mouth hung ajar. There was a frenzy in his face she had never seen before and something more lurking just below the surface that she couldn't recognize. Suddenly, he regained his composure, turned and walked off the porch. Stunned, she turned back around, running her fingers through the hair tightened to her scalp. As she lifted her eyes, still in shock, her disbelief drained from her body like the color from her face. Seeing what he had seen, she bolted down the hallway. The backdoor was still swinging wide open.

Clearing the hallway clutter in one hurdle, she landed just shy of the dining room. Three strides through it and four through the kitchen landed her squarely in front of the back entrance. Even with her delayed reaction, Nev's shortcut through the house supplied her with plenty of time to lock the door before Dave appeared on the porch. She had just clicked the lock into place as his foot reached the bottom step of the porch.

The window on this door was much larger than the three in the front. It covered more than the top third and through it Nev could see Dave's entire upper body. It heaved in anger. With every step he took towards her, she matched his gait backwards through the kitchen. His shirt had been removed and his bronzed skin glistened in the sunlight. He was gorgeous, indeed, tone, muscular, and strong. Much too strong to be overpowered by her. Once again, he caught her eyes. They were wild with rage and that something she could not recognize before, she could only describe now as death. When he reached the door, he did not pound or beat on it. He did not scream or rant and rave. The silence was terrifying as he simply smiled at her and, raising his fist wrapped in his shirt, delivered a shattering blow. Glass exploded onto the floor. Dave reached through, unlocked the door and stepped across the threshold. Nevaeh turned and ran.

Immediately, her left hand jammed inside her pocket. Fumbling around with her keys, Nev could think of only one thing; getting out. She focused all her attention on that one goal and, darting back through the house, she could only see that one obstacle in her way: the front door. Unfortunately, she forgot about the second one. Her luggage caught her at the shins and lifted her up off the ground. Airborn, her momentum sent her reeling forwards headfirst. With one hand still in her pocket, she reached out with the only free hand she had. Her right arm came out instinctively to brace her fall and as she landed she heard a distinct c***k within her wrist. Immediately, pain shot up her forearm, mingling with her elbow. However, the shock came from a sharp stab in her left hip. Rolling over, she looked down to see a blood stain already two inches wide on her jeans.

But she had no time to assess her wounds, Dave was in the house. She arose and yanked her keys from the pocket in which they were so tightly wedged. As soon as they were free, Nev felt a burst of warm, thick fluid flow from the tender skin under her panty line. She had stabbed herself with her own keys. Knowing that if she had hit a main artery she had very little time, Nevaeh began a new scramble towards the door.

Before she could make any forward progress, there was a low chuckle behind her. A large palm spread out at the base of her skull, weaving it's long fingers into the thick, black hair. The hand tightened around her locks, halting her forward progression. Pulling her head back, he wound up before slamming her face-first into the hallway wall. She cried out, but he simply lifted Nev's chin back again, exposing the soft tissue of her throat until her ear rested against Dave's chapped lips. The rough skin scratched at her ear lobes as he spoke.

“You...locked me...out?” His words were cold and calculated. “Let's get one thing straight, Nev,” he let the shirt that was protecting his right fist unravel and fall to the floor. Then slowly, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into him, “you are mine, and don't get to leave until I throw you out with the rest of the garbage. You get that?”

She could feel his length harden against the small of her back and she gagged at the thought of violence arousing him. Her wrist throbbed, sending waves of pain up her arm as far as her shoulder. Everything below it had already gone numb. Her left leg felt cold, except for a stream of blood that still flowed down her inner thigh, past her calf, and pooled around the cuff of her sock.

Peering down at the clutter boxing about their feet, Dave gave a mirthless smirk. “Is this all you brought? It’s like you barely packed at all. You were never going to leave me. Most of your belongings are still waiting for you to come back.” He ground himself against her, hissing in her ears as he shuffled Nev around the luggage which seemed to be taking up residency in the hallway. “Where's the rest of our bags? We're going home.”

“Downstairs.”

“Let's go,” he grunted as he pushed against the back of her thighs with his own.

They began an awkward dance through the house to the basement door. Jarred and shaken, Nev tried to compose herself as they came to the closed stairwell. She shook her head to clear the fog from her mind and took a deep breath. Mistaking her movement for a feeble attempt to break free, Dave's hand re-clamped down upon her skull, giving her a brisk jerk. “Open the door,” he growled.

She reached for the silver knob and swung the door open. Before she could pass it behind her body, Dave released his hold from her waist and placed a hand on the door. Shoving it away from her, it slammed shut.

Instinctively, she moved away from him, however, he mimicked her forward motion until she was pressed up against the door. His lips moved from her ear to her neck. “Where's Ava?” he asked as he kissed her neck. The rough and peeling skin reminded her of mosquitoes buzzing about and she desperately yearned to slap them away.

“With Nana.” She cringed as he inhaled deeply, smelling her skin, obviously pleased with the thought that they were alone.

“When will they be back?” He spoke disjointedly, pausing to breathe between words and kisses.

“I don't know,” she stopped there. Pulling her face from the door again, he slammed her against the wood, displeased with the information she volunteered. Then he waited patiently for her to decide whether or not he needed to continue. “Sometime after dinner,” she offered, hoping it would appease him.

“Then we have a few hours.” he exhaled slowly onto her trembling skin and turned her around to face him. The fog had returned in her brain. It had grown so thick that her vision was hindered and her strength was quickly leaving. As he leaned in to kiss her, she felt as if she would surely pass out. Her knees buckled but his hold on her hair was so tight that she did not fall far. Reaching up to his shoulders, she pulled herself on him to relieve some of the pressure on her head.

With her hands practically around his neck, he finally released her hair, slid his knee between her legs and pressed up against her. His kiss was as hard as his manhood pressed against her thigh. She shuddered, lowering her chin to break from him. “I need a hospital,” she cried.

“You need what I say you need,” he spoke as he lifted her chin and smothered her with another suffocating kiss. With his free hand, he made his way to her denim shorts, unbuttoning the fly. Roughly he yanked at the zipper and immediately dipped his hand beneath her panty line. His touch renewed her strength and she slid her hands from his shoulders to his chest and pressed him back with everything she had left. Her wrist screamed at her, begging her to stop struggling, but she did not give in. One way or another, this was going to end, tonight!

Dave backed away, but not because of her strength, but so that he could slide her shorts down to her ankles. He also took their moment of separation to free himself from the confines of his own jeans.

“No!” She screamed, fighting against him as he leaned back into her. He tried several times to line himself up with her entrance, but she refused to give up the struggle. Nev had already decided; if it came down to it, she would die today before giving herself to him one more time.

“Fine,” Dave spewed with pure abhorrence in his eyes. It seemed to possess every fiber of his being. “I was about finished with you anyways,” the words tumbled from his mouth as if he could no longer stomach them. He pulled her away from the door, yanked it open and, in one smooth motion, he swiftly shoved her through.

Nevaeh landed at the bottom of the steps with a thud. She lay on her back unable to move, unable to breath. Faintly, she heard Dave shut the door. She followed his footsteps through the house and heard a second door slam shut. Whether she heard or imagined the sound of an engine turn over and the tires squealing away, she wasn't sure. But what she did know was that she was completely alone.

Just as she was losing consciousness, a whisper blew across the back of her mind. It formed no words, but still sounded utterly heartbroken.

“Please,” she whispered back to no one at all, “let Ava be asleep before Nana finds her daughter's body at the bottom of the staircase.”

My Darling. The whisper had found its voice.

“Daddy?” A last rush of air filled her lungs and she gasped, refreshed before slipping into the darkness. She let the fog envelop her mind.

Closing her eyes, she left herself...

and felt no fear.