ReWritten

Chapter 1 Nevaeh Hart inhaled sharply. Closing her eyes, she mustered up all the strength she had to still her shaking body. She focused her mind on the slow, rhythmic breaths she forced into her lungs and, envisioning her heart, she tried to get it's beat under control. The steel folding chair underneath her ass was cold and uninviting. She slid her thin frame to it's edge and leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. “Quit twitching!” A sharp jab landed in her ribcage, directly below her bra strap, bruising the soft flesh at her side. Gasping, she winced at the pain, but did nothing but flutter her eyes rapidly, trying to blink back the tears. In all her 28 years, she had never been inside the police station before. The lobby was cold and hard. It's white walls blended in with it's white, tile floor and with each small movement she made in her chair the sound of metal scratching floor echoed throughout. The waiting area consisted of two rows of chairs placed back to back in the center of the room. Along the entrance wall were two doors, leading to public bathrooms. The adjacent wall was perfectly blank except for the large metal door cut out of the right side. It looked strong and thick with a matching metal frame and large lock. The receptionist sat behind the wall across from the entrance. Bulletproof glass separated her from the lobby and directly to the right was a locked wooden door. The final wall was covered by a staircase leading to the basement. The only decoration sat in front of the stair rail in the shape of a 7-foot paper mache lion. He wore a giant smile and stood only on his back legs. The right paw was lifted, as if he were waving and it was wearing a black “DARE” t-shirt. Had she been with anyone else, the pure oddity of the sight would have made her burst with laughter, but considering present company, silence was always the best answer. His name was David Valdez, this present company of hers, and she claimed him as her boyfriend, though no one could see why. He started out charming enough: handsome, rich, strong and protective. His dark skin and thick Spanish accent was enough to send any girl reeling. Add in the ability to pull off the most breathtaking dates and it was easy to mistake him for the catch of the county. Slowly, as the charade began to crumble, time revealed his less admirable qualities. He blamed Nev for this “change”, claiming that her own shortcomings had ruined him and therefore was deserving of everything he had in store for her. His distrust and anger towards her grew in intensity, especially after the birth of their daughter. Ava, her three year old angel, was the reason why they were here tonight. Somewhere behind that glass window and locked wooden door she sat, alone and scared and tired. With a heavy push, the wooden door swung open. A woman, perhaps ten years older than Nev, stood in the doorway. Her body held about 50 pounds of extra weight and her hair was cut short to her chin, framing her face. Past her green and black glasses, her blue eyes shone bright for being woken up in the middle of the night. “ 'Mom',” she said in a voice that masked the seriousness of the issue, “we'll start with you. I have a few questions for you.” She smiled as she lifted her hand and brushed it through the doorway, inviting her in. Nev glanced at Dave briefly. He growled in his seat. Standing abruptly, he spoke in a low hoarse voice. “No, she can stay out here, I'll answer any questions you have.” He took a few steps towards the door. “Oh,” the woman spoke unafraid. “Just a moment, then,” and stepping backwards she let the door swing shut in front of him. Grumbling, he back peddled to his seat and plopped down with a huff. “Don't you say a word, Nev, not one goddamn word. I'll deal with you when we get home.” Dropping her head once more, she let her bangs fall in front of her already closed eyes. Great, she thought, there is no way out of this one. How did it ever come to this? In high school, Nev vowed to never become weak and timid like her mother, controlled by a domineering man. So she worked avidly on creating an inner strength built by her own sweat and blood, promising herself never to get involved with a man as controlling as her father. She would definitely never allow anyone to raise her children in that same fear-dominated environment. Yet, ten years later, here she stood in a place beyond domination and an environment worse than fear. She was worse than her mother, she was strangled and dying. Before she knew it, a small sob issued from her lips. As soon as it was released she tried sucking it back in, but it was already too late. “Oh, shut up! No one is going to believe your tears. When I get done talking to that lady, you'll be lucky if they ever let you see Ava again.” His hiss sent cold shivers down her spine. Nev had never known Dave to fail at following through on his threats. The door swung open again. Dave stood while Nev stayed glued to her seat. “Mr. Valdez, I've heard you'd like to begin,” said a strange, male voice. Nev parted her eyelids and risked a glance upwards through her dark bangs. The blonde woman was absent and in her place stood a tall, thin man. He had to be 6'5” at least, for his head barely cleared the door jam. The hair on the crown of his head was dirty blonde but darkened steadily until it met the nape of his neck. As a matter of fact, the tip of his beard was almost as dark as Dave's thick locks. “I'm Detective Brinks.” He offered a hand, however Dave looked at it in disgust; as if he'd just flashed some obscene gesture rather than offering a cordial greeting. “So,” he grunted in his raspy voice. Embarrassment blushed Nev’s cheeks at his reaction as he roughly shouldered his way past the detective. The uniformed man flashed her a small smile surrounded by an empathetic look molded from years of experience. For a split second, before he too disappeared through the doorway, Nev felt a tiny sliver of hope. Foolishly, she let it lodge itself into her heart, leaking labyrinthine scenarios into her being, until she was practically drowning in impossibility. Perhaps they would arrest him tonight, taking him straight to the jail. Or, if he made bail, she could at least look forward to the years and years they would sentence him to due to the treatment he imposed on the both of them. They are cops after all; at the first sign of danger they could easily post officers at her door to protect them. Perhaps Detective Brinks, himself, would stake out at her home. During the time he spent watching her, he could find himself inexplicably drawn to her. She didn't see a ring on his finger after all. And what would be safer than dating a cop? Surely Dave would have to keep his distance then! “No,” she spoke aloud to herself. “Stop.” Who was she kidding? She was being unrealistic. Slowly she forced herself to sift through the jumbled mess within her mind, discarding any threads that lead to some false knight in shining armor. She needed to stay in this present reality if she were going to figure out a way to save herself and her daughter. Tears poured from her deep, brown eyes trickling down her cheeks like tiny waterfalls, pooling at the tip of her chin before falling in large droplets to her lap. The receptionist gazed at her through the bulletproof glass with a look of sympathy. Covering her face to save herself the embarrassment, Nev slipped out of her chair and dropped to her knees. She tried several times to compose herself but the tears kept flowing. She breathed deeply, commanding her muscles to stop shaking and reaching inside her head she willed her thoughts to slow down. Finally, one by one, they began to parade past and she systematically began filtering fantasy from reality. And the reality was she was on her own. that smile Detective Brinks flashed was not empathy...it was disbelief, probably even disgust at a woman who let her child live in an environment like theirs. And the receptionist...pure pity, plain and simple. “Ma'am?” Nevaeh looked up. The blonde woman was standing in the doorway between the office and the lobby. “I have a few questions for you.” Her demeanor was sympathetic and soft as Nev's eyes darted around the small space. She lifted herself off the floor and slid back into the chair behind her. “Dave will answer them,” she spoke softly, “I'll just wait here, if you don't mind.” Her eyes focused on the white tile beneath her feet. She could see her teardrops which had beaded up on the floor as if they were liable to roll away at any given moment. Oh, how she wished she could simply roll away from this place, this life. “Yes, well, he's with the detective right now, but we will need your statement tonight so that I might be able to properly place your daughter.” She took a step outside of the doorway and let it swing shut. Coming closer, she knelt down, “I'm sure you would like to have some input on where she'll be staying tonight?” Weighing her pros and cons, Nev hesitated for a time. Slowly, she shook her head, “OK,” she murmured quietly. Standing, her legs wobbled threateningly beneath her as she followed the blonde behind the door, down a hallway to the left, and into a tiny office. Her fog cleared at the sight of her precious baby girl sitting in the office, nose to screen of a portable DVD player. Rich, chocolate brown eyes were fixated upon the screen, her chubby little cheeks propped in her small hands. Everything about her was Dave, her broad, flat nose, deep copper skin; they even shared the placement of a mole between the first and second knuckle of the right hand. Her dark locks fell in curls about her face and shoulders. She swept them out of her eyes with a few fingers and, breaking her gaze, looked up. “Mami! Look, the fishy movie.” And she returned with a smile back to her prior entertainment. “Ava, honey!” She rushed to her, squeezing her daughter to her own chest. Her smell, her touch, her little wiggle to see the screen; Nev soaked it all in, never wanting to let go. “You ok, baby?” “Oh yes! I got to ride in the police car. He turned the lights on for me, and look,” she pointed to the screen again, apparently frustrated that her mother had not recognized it the first time, “Mami, the fishy movie!” “Yes, Hija, I see. Scoot back, sweetie. You'll ruin your eyes that close to the TV.” A sour frown swept across the little face, but Ava did as she was told, her little body moving as an inchworm backwards. Remnants of baby fat still hung about her wrists, knees, and cheeks. Neveah watched her daughter in silence as a soft calm fell over her. In the presence of her daughter it seemed as if everything melted away. She had promised herself, when this precious being began growing inside of her, that she would run away, go home, finish school; anything to keep her from Dave. She only thought of keeping this life within safe. She thought it would be easier to say no, to say goodbye, when there was more at stake then just her own happiness, but he had, as always, duped her again. “The first thing I need is for you to read and sign this for Ava. It just explains everything that we are going to do here in my office, and keep in mind, all information I collect is both voluntary and completely confidential.” The woman's voice brought Nev back to the present and she focused in on what was being said. Laying in front of her was a document and pen. Picking it up, she skimmed it, and it said just what had been explained to her. She signed it in her slow embellished scrawl, dated it, and placed the pen back on the tiny table. “Great,” the woman spoke in reassuring tones. “We'll just start with her general information.” The question and answer began slowly with, indeed, general information: name, birth date, social security number, address, phone number, school, family members, etc, but soon the questions began to turn into a seemingly ridiculously long and personal affair. Drugs, alcohol, mental health, family criminals...it felt as if Neveah herself was being interrogated; or worse...little Ava. She was the victim here, ripped out of Nev's hands, thrown to the ground by her father, covered in her own dinner because it wasn't good enough. Nothing's ever good enough! Nev's anger flared. “ My daughter did nothing wrong, she's three years old for heaven's sake. Why all the stupid questions?” She spoke with a force beyond herself and as soon as the words passed her lips she regretted them. She sighed, “I'm sorry.” Her recant was in a much lighter tone “It's been a long night.” “That's quite alright Ms. Hart.” The woman on the other side of the desk looked tired as well, but her voice remained cheery. “We're almost done. Our interview here is designed to get as much information as possible so that I can make the right decision for Ava. I know it seems nosy and personal, but I have to make sure that I place Ava in the safest possible placement. I do have a few more questions for you.” “Ok.” Nev could spot a pep talk from a mile away. When you live with an abusive man, that's all you get: pep talks from mom, dad (rest his soul), sister, friends telling you your better than this, stronger than this, revving you up to make the hardest decision of your life, and then hanging up, moving on, dropping out. Yep, pep talk. And this one meant the hard questions were right around the corner. “So,” she started slowly and meticulously, “I spoke with Ava for a bit before you came in to join us and she expressed a desire not to return home.” She paused for a moment to gauge Nev's reaction. When there was none, she continued on. “Ava says that she gets very frightened when her father gets angry. She also stated that he does bad things when he is mad, but would not go into detail.” There was a question in her tone and Nev could see a desire within her for Nevaeh to expound upon the subject, yet she stayed silent. Here it was, the crossroads. Quickly, Nev scanned her possibilities in search of one that got them both out without a sound beating when they returned home. Was there anything she could say at this juncture that Dave would believe? She could lie, calling her own daughter a liar in the process, and tell this intake worker that everything was fine at home and Ava's fears were completely unjustified. She could act baffled at the idea that her daughter was afraid of her own father and call her out on it right then and there. But in the long run she was simply sacrificing her daughter's trust and safety for a ruse that Dave himself would not think she was capable of pulling off. In the end, he would convince himself that she had told them everything, and she would truly be the liar he always thought she was. She had paused for too long and that awkward silence that probably filled this particular office often fell upon the room. “Has Dave ever hit Ava? Does he hurt her in any way?” The silence was broken. Nev was still surveying her choices. She could tell them everything and hope he was bad enough for them to take him away, or take her away with Ava. She could leave, really leave this time. But what if he found her? What if they didn't think he was bad enough? What if they didn't believe her and they sent him home with them tonight? Could she pull this lie past him and smooth things over by pretending she didn't try to escape? Endless possibilities swirled around inside her mind, but it all centered around one basic decision: strength or weakness. Once again, she had pondered too long. “Does he hit you?” The blonde probed deeper into the heart of the matter. She had probably seen this countless times before. Women too weak to stand up for their own flesh and blood, choosing horrid men over innocent children. If it made her stomach turn, Nev couldn't tell. She hid it well beneath the look of concern consuming her thirty-something face. “Ma'am, I understand how difficult this must be for you but I need to know whether Ava should...” “Yes,” she interrupted. If there was anytime to call upon that inner strength she thought she had, it was now. Tonight, she was leaving Dave forever. “Yes he does. Mostly me, however tonight it spilled over and my precious girl,” her voice cracked, but she would stop until it was all out. All the dirty laundry was being aired, even if no one could understand her words through the sobs. “I promised to protect her...why didn't I protect her?” Nev's head dropped as the tears came rushing to the surface. Her shoulders and chest heaved in massive waves as the burden finally felt like it had been lifted from her body. “Dinner!” The single word came out in a sudden shout. As she recalled the events of the night an ire swelled within her for the ludicrous behavior Dave displayed over some rotten dinner. The officer sat back in her chair, slightly surprised with this abrupt outburst, but she didn't speak. She simply waited for Nev to compose herself, reassemble her fortitude, and begin again. “I burned dinner,” she almost giggled. “And I guess I should've thrown it out and started over, but really, then it wouldn't have been ready on time; you know, when Dave got home from work, so we might've ended up here anyways.” She sighed, shaking her head at the hopelessness, “so, obviously, it wasn't up to par. He shoved it aside in disgust, but the plate slid too far and knocked into Ava's, pushing it over the edge of the table and into her lap. When she started crying, Dave got upset and began yelling at her which only made her cry harder.” She paused momentarily, chewing on her next words before spitting them out. “When he raised his hand to her, he exclaimed that he'd give her something to cry about. Original huh?” A tear galloped down her face blazing a wet trail. “Anyways, when he raised his hand to her, I leapt in-between them, scooped her up and said we were leaving. He hollered at us all the way down the stairs but didn't try to stop me until I actually got outside. He grabbed Ava out of my arms and threw her down behind him in the grass. He said I could leave if I wanted to, he was about done with me anyways. But Ava,” she paused, sucking in a breath for her final testimony, “he said he would never let me take his daughter away from him.” She whispered her final words in an attempt to hide them from the little ears in the room, then she closed her mouth and would speak no more. Meanwhile, the blonde was tapping away furiously at her keyboard, trying desperately to keep up with Neveah's story, knowing somewhere from all her experience, that this would be the one and only time this particular story was ever going to pass by her eardrums. At her last sentence, she paused, looking up into the stranger's face. “Do you think he was serious?” She asked out of simple duty, for the answer was in Nev's eyes. They were fraught with absolute terror. “What do you think he would do to stop you?” Nev could see she was prodding her for an opinion on how far she truly thought he would take his threat, but she was done. Her foundation was rubble, there was nothing else to say. Shrugging, she changed the subject. “Where will Ava go tonight? Does she have to go to foster care?” The thought petrified her, sending her off to strangers, losing her to a system that may never give her back again. Could she lose her daughter tonight due to her cowardice? “Well, we have a few options before it comes to that. Does she have any family in town that would take her for a few nights?” “No, but my mother lives about 30 minutes away. She would take us in a heartbeat.” The woman stopped typing and looked up at her, “us?” she asked. “I can go with her can't I?” The thought had never occurred to her that she, as well as Dave, wouldn't be allowed to see Ava. “There's no way I'm going home with him tonight and not her. No matter what any of you told him, he'd blame me. Besides,” she paused and smiled, feeling for the first time a hint of freedom, a small piece of hope, “it's about time we moved on. Ava and I can do much better on our own.” “Sure, you can see her. But it's imperative that he has no contact with her during the investigation.” She smiled at Nev, as a proud mother would. “There's going to be an investigation?” Nev's nerves tensed. “There always is in a possible child abuse case. But the detective will answer all your questions about that. Why don't you give me your mother's phone number so we can get her up here to take you guys home.” Every minute of the next 45 seemed to pass as hours, each one slowly counting down to Nev's freedom. Even though there was plenty to do before her mother arrived, it seemed as if the time would never come. She spoke with the blonde more candidly about her situation, feeling the idea of Dave-lessness sweep around her, loosen her tongue, unbinding her soul. Detective Brinks wandered in half way through their delay. As with any true gentleman, he did not interrupt, but waited for a pause in their conversation to ask Nev to accompany him to the interview room. “Is Dave finished?” She questioned him with her lips, her eyes, her very demeanor. For a brief moment she had forgotten that he was still in the building. “Because I do not want to see him again.” She turned to the blonde, “if he finds out we're leaving tonight, I know he won't let us go.” The fear of running into him outside the station or in the hallway began to re-wrap their tentacles around her heart. How quickly her new found bravery shriveled inside her. “No, Mr. Valdez is writing out his statement.” Detective Brinks spoke with solidarity that eased her nerves but did nothing for the fear that encompassed her. “Ok,” she paused, turning to Ava, still completely engrossed in the “fishy movie,” “ Ava, I'm going with Detective Brinks for a minute. I'll be right back. You stay here and finish your movie, OK?” A nod of the tiny head gave only the slightest indication that Ava heard her mother. Her eyes did not break from the screen. “She's in hog heaven,” Nev spoke to no one in particular, “I don't usually let her watch TV.” She stood and allowed the detective to usher her out of the office down the hallway and into another equally small room. She sat at the end of the table crammed into the tiny space and curled her long legs compactly underneath her chair. For a woman of 5'10” she had perfected the art of appearing much smaller. Her arms crossed tightly across her chest and she stared adamantly at the black glossy surface below her resting elbows. A husky voice bellowed from behind a wall, “where...is...my...daughter?” With every slow, deliberate word Nev shrunk deeper into her seat and her regret. This was a bad idea. She wondered if it was too late to call her mother, tell her to turn around and go home. Several other voices mingled with Dave's, until the room adjacent to her was so full of muffled sounds Nev could not make out one from the other. “Try to focus, Ma'am. I know it's difficult, but this is the only room we have available.” Detective Brinks stood as he spoke to her, crossed the room in three strides and shut the door. They went over many of the same questions as she did in the intake room; however, the knowledge that Dave was merely two panels of sheet rock and some insulation away from her made her severely conscious of every word uttered. Finally, he seemed satisfied. Sliding a piece of paper and pen her way, he asked her if she would write down her statement and she complied. Twenty minutes later, Nev found herself heading back for a second reunion with her daughter. This time she was greeted with the very same greeting she gave her own daughter not an hour ago. “Nev, honey!” Her mother rushed to her, reaching out with the long, thin fingers Nev had always wished she'd inherited. They embraced her face and pulled her close. Standing eyeball to eyeball, her mother whispered slowly, “he will never hurt either of you again.” She released her face and brought her arms up, enveloping her daughter in a hug with a strength Nev never knew she had. Releasing her, she called to Ava, “Let's go, baby.” She turned back to Nev, eying the intake officer to reinforce her next statement. “I've already signed all the paperwork. We were just waiting on you.” Gathering up her daughter on one side and her granddaughter on the other, she strode out the door.