ReWritten

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Nevaeh’s phone sat on the passenger seat, ringing. She glanced nervously at it as it went to voicemail for the second time. Immediately, it began to ring again. Still, she didn’t answer it, but she did move out of the left turning lane, leading to the interstate home. Instead she veered right, following the curve into a residential area and parked on the side of the street. She picked up the phone and stared at the screen alerting her to the 3 missed calls and coinciding voicemails that had been left; Jay, Jay, and Jay.

“I was being the gentleman.  I was waiting out the heartbreak…” his words came back to her slowly now.  Staying home, missing finals, and holed up in her basement had allowed Jay to do just what wanted to do the first time, wait.  Her phone did not ring again and in the silence she refocused her mind.  There was no past to face, no mistake to regret, no burnt bridges to mend. 

“Stop,” she closed her eyes, speaking only to herself. “Breathe…this is why you’re here. It’s time to seek out new reasons, not just let them come to you. You do not have to live the mistakes of the past,” she continued, rambling to herself even when she felt a new presence in the car. It was subtle, barely registering in her mind, but her heart felt another spirit.

My Darling. She could almost see his gentle smile.

The phone rang again. Jolting her eyes open, she answered it without checking the number. “I’m turning around,” she said before the caller had a chance to even say hello. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m glad you changed your mind,” was all Jay said.

The fourth time Nevaeh drove to the apartment complex, Jay was standing outside in the middle of the parking lot, waiting for her. She took in a deep breath as she pulled into a stall and put the gear shifter into park. Peering out of her rear-view mirror she spotted the tall, broad-shouldered blonde walking towards her. Opening the driver’s side door she turned to face him, peering past the glassy blue exterior of his eyes and seeing the excitement he had harbored in his soul.

“Jay,” she spoke softly, reminiscent of times past, that would soon come again. It was almost too good to be true. Leaving the door wide open she ran to him, nestling into the middle of Jay's chest. Happy tears soaked his t-shirt, but he simply held her, stroking the back of her head.

***

Nevaeh sat on Jay’s couch, awkwardly silent as the eyes around her filled with pity and sympathy. She hated it. She was done being sad, and guilty, and scared. But Tracy didn’t know what to say, so she sat there, with her arm draped around Nev’s shoulders, quietly letting her eyes fill with a compassion Nevaeh felt she could drown in. Jay’s looked ominously similar, downcast, afraid to make eye-contact. It reminded her of the last time they were reunited that same summer nine years ago. No one knew what to say or do, so they just sat there “being there” for her until she was ready to talk. But all they were really doing was reminding her of how piteous she was, how wretched she felt, how deserving of their sympathy they thought she was, how weak. She searched out the only face in the room that was ignorant of the entire situation, Sawyer. And she found him, across the room, leaning against the wall with his legs lazily crossed at the ankles, his hazel eyes bright and bored. After all, he had no idea who she even was. She remembered that’s what drew her to him the last time, a person who would treat her without kid gloves. Someone who could show her a good time with no ulterior motives, no trying to cheer her up, no eggshells. And yet, she cautioned herself, that’s also what got her in over her head last time.

“It seems to me,” his voice broke the silence, “she came home to get her mind off of this mess. Perhaps we should get out of here.” Sawyer had stepped out of his spot against the wall, walked across the room to the couch and offered his hand out to Nev.

She smiled up at him and took hold. His large fingers engulfed her tiny hand. “Yeah,” she spoke softly, breaking his gaze and looking around the room. “Let's have some fun.”

Jay looked up, nervously, rising from his perch and stepping in between Nev and Sawyer. “It’s alright,” she said with a smile on her face, “I’m done running. It’s been what, almost 2 months I’ve spent cooped up in that basement. Sawyer’s right. It’s time to try something new.” She smiled, surprised at herself that she mostly meant it.

“There’s the BBQ we had planned on tonight,” Tracy spoke for the first time since Nev had showed up. “We could still go.” She too, finally lifted her eyes from the carpet and Nev could see that they were red and swollen, a wet trail still traced down her cheeks. Nev’s heart sank, realizing that, this time, perhaps not everyone’s eyes in the room were full of sympathy for her.

Stepping to the couch, she pulled Tracy to her feet and hugged her tightly. “Thank you,” she whispered, “for everything I don’t even know you did for me. I’m so sorry.” The girls stood there and cried together until a sigh from across the room interrupted them.

Nev looked up to see Sawyer rolling his eyes and tapping his watch face at Jay. She broke from Tracy, turning to Jay and thumbed back, “where’d you find this guy?” She asked, reacquainting herself with a sarcasm so integral to her college personality. It felt good, remembering who she was back when she had no idea what she would become.

Tracy giggled and pulled her towards the door. “I’ve still got most of your clothes in the apartment. Let’s go get ready,” and without another word, she yanked her out the door. They wandered down the hallway until, four doors down, Tracy whipped out a key and unlocked her apartment. She led her past a tiny kitchen and through the living room to a hallway. Down the hall to the right was Tracy's room and to the left was Nev’s stuff’s room.

“Sorry, we didn’t really organize it, we just kinda shoved it in,” she shrugged her shoulders.

“No problem.” She couldn’t really blame her, for all she knew Nev would be back anyday to arrange her own room. She picked her way through the cardboard boxes, shuffling them to and fro, making a path through all the junk. Finally she found a few boxes of clothing and started rifling through. Reacquainting herself with the wardrobe of her youth, she pulled out her favorite pair of denim shorts and turned them over in her hands, smiling at the blast from her past. Today, she felt it was appropriate to add a new embellishment.

“Are you sure you wanna go?” Tracy peeked her spiky head around the doorframe. “It’s ok if you don’t.”

“No, I do,” Nev said without looking up, rooting around for her sewing kit. She found it three boxes over and pulled out the bottom drawer.

“Alright,” Tracy c****d her head to one side, showing a certain amount of disbelief. “Just be careful, I know you’re prone to making rash decisions.”

Nevaeh stopped searching for a moment. “Whaddya mean?” She looked up, raising her voice as Tracy disappeared from the doorway.

“You know, right now, in the middle of it all, you never seem to think as clearly.” She was yelling now from across the hall in her own room. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure everyone is more vulnerable then. It's so fresh and strong, but sometime in the future you never know what you will have regretted doing in the midst of your heartache. Ya know what I mean?”

She had no idea the truth she spoke. It spilled out of her and washed over Nev, reminding her that the mistakes of her past future may be gone but not impossible to repeat. The thought struck panic into her momentarily until she realized just what an advantage she had this time. No visions, no tarot cards or crystal balls, no reading of the future could compare to the truly 20/20 hindsight she had stashed in her back pocket.

She started sifting through the ribbons, paint, thread, and buttons again. Pulling out a long, thin, purple ribbon, she closed the drawer and opened the one above it. She pulled out her scissors and made little slits in the back pocket in the shape of a circle. Beginning at the top, she thread the ribbon through until it weaved itself into a circle, meeting itself back up at the top. Tying it off in a bow, she decided that it would need a few stitches to keep it in place. “Tracy?” She hesitated, clearing a place to sit among the clutter. She sat down, pulling her needle and thread out to stitch the ribbon in place. “So how do you know, when heartache is blinding your common sense, what you will and won't regret later on down the line?” She decided to ask anyways. Even though it wasn’t the heartbreak Tracy knew it to be, Nevaeh was still suffering. She didn’t want this new vulnerability to cloud her judgment. Second chances, especially ones involving time travel, were unheard of, let alone third ones.

Tracy shrugged her shoulders, throwing on a navy t-shirt and gray running shorts herself. “I don’t know, just don’t do anything real drastic just yet.”

Putting her needle and thread away, she pulled the pocket close to her face, examining her stitch work. Satisfied, Nev pulled out a purple fabric pen and drew two hands within the circle, giving it the clear distinction of a clock and scrawled below it the title of her favorite Cher song.

She held the shorts out, arm length away from herself, letting the clock and the memory flood her. Now it was finally time to right the wrong.

“Also,” Tracy came back in, tip-toeing around the clutter to sit next to Nev on the floor, “Trust in your friends.” She nudged playfully against her shoulder, “I know you, my delicate little flower,” she smiled, falling back into that sarcastic banter they always shared. “I’ll watch out for you...and Jay too, especially now that you need it most.”

“Simple as that, huh?” Nev bumped her back.

“Simple as that.” Tracy slapped a full palm onto her thigh, standing. She started to make her way back out of the clutter.

Nev also stood, slipping the newly redecorated shorts over her hips and found the white tank she vaguely remembered wearing with them always and coupled it with leather sandals. Tracy looked over Nev’s outfit. “Cute, but you’re not really wearing that are you? I’ve heard there’s mud volleyball.”

“Guess not.” Nev traded out her white tank for Alec's favorite rock band tee. Not only was the royal blue color more appropriate, but the giant, red and yellow logo across the front would practically guarantee complete coverage, wet or dry. She also traded out her jean shorts for a pair of cotton, red running shorts, and her leather sandals for her tennies. She ran her fingers through her black hair, sleeking it back to the base of her skull and pulled it into a tight ponytail.

“That one too?” Tracy asked, pointing to the tee with astonishment on her face. It was Alec's. It was cherished. It was therapeutic.

“Yes, I believe I am.” She played along. Now, so removed, it didn’t seem like that big of a deal but the memories still flooded her. She remembered the concert they were at when he had bought it for her. She remembered the all night diner they ate at afterward. She remembered getting kicked out of the diner for dancing on the tables, but most of all, she remembered the night afterward when she had chosen to give herself to him. Even now, though she could see it was the beginning of the end, she wouldn't have chosen differently. She smiled at the feelings of her youth, free and full of life, it all conjured up. Holding on to it, she clamored out of the clutter and made her way back to Jay’s apartment, Tracy hot on her heels.

Leaving her Sunbird behind, Nev climbed into the back of Jay’s jeep with Tracy as the boys, jumping over the doors instead of opening them, hopped into the front. “Where are we going?” she asked as the engine revved to life and Jay threw it into gear.

“I’m not sure,” the wind carried Jay’s voice from the front. “It’s one of the freshman advisor’s farm. He lets the college groups use the land for BBQ’s and bonfires.” He shrugged, catching Nev’s glance in the rearview mirror. “Been there a few times, but I’ve never met him.” His slow, calculated words had faded as he rambled, but his low drawl was still calm, soothing. Nev closed her eyes and let wind whip about her face as they picked up speed outside of town. She almost missed the fact that it didn’t whisper at her, but the silence diminished as a simple conversation broke out amongst the friends. Nev let the familiar sounds of life and laughter penetrate her healing heart, soaking up what it was like to be with people again, not just any people, but these people, before the hurt, frustrations, disappointments tore them apart. She smiled, a simple, happy, no strings attached kind of smile.

Twenty minutes later they bumped down a dirt drive a quarter mile to an old white farmhouse. The backyard spread out until you couldn’t decipher grassland from yard. The tables and chairs set up on the deck and adjoining patio were the first to fill up with people milling about as they first arrived. Skirting the deck, Nev and Tracy passed the patio and ambled through the grass to a clearing where chairs had been set up around a fire pit. Jay followed, but Sawyer had already found another group of friends who offered him a drink. He stayed behind chatting, his boisterous laugh ringing clearly through the yard. The two fellas he chatted with looked strikingly similar, both with dark hair and eyes. They shared the same thick build and short, pug nose. The three of them looked about the yard, surveying the other guests several times, eyes landing on the groups at the tables, the ones around the grill and finally at those around the fire pit. Sawyer caught her glance. Breaking it with a wink, he turned back the brothers. Shortly afterward he turned and jogged back to Jay. “Come on, man. We’re starting a game,” he nodded to the mud pit. “I need my wing man.” He c****d his head back to the group that was taking off their shoes around the volleyball court.

The two dark haired guys had recruited four other girls and were already socks off, ankle deep in mud while three of the girls were cautiously toeing the corners, their pedicured nails bobbing dangerously close to the warm, oozing mess in front of them. Jay shook his head toward the ground but came up smiling, his flip flops already in the grass beside him. Nev stood too, slipping her tennis shoes off from the heels and tucking her socks inside. “Room for two more,” she asked as she pulled Tracy to her feet, dragging her along.

The boys split up evenly and Tracy and Nev joined the brothers on the far side. Slopping past the still squealing girls, they made their way to their new teammates. “Tracy,” her roommate said, sticking her hand out. “This is Nev. Mind if we join you?”

“Not at all. I’d rather a few girls that don’t mind getting dirty on my side,” the slightly taller one said, his ever-widening eyes darting over towards the shriek fest. “I’m Andy,” he jerked his thumb back to his teammate, “Alan.”

“Brothers?” Nev asked

“Twins,” the shorter one added.

A strawberry-blonde came tip-toeing onto their half of the court looking more relaxed with every step. “Hey,” she said to the four strangers staring warily at her. “It’s not as cold as I thought it’d be.” She stood there, squishing the mud between her toes for a minute as they figured out their rotation on the court. By the time the first serve came over the net, they had all found an equal mindset on the idea of getting dirty.

Jay and Sawyer did not have the same luck. The girls on the opposite side of the court flapped about with their hands out to the sides, jumping out of the way with a squeal when the ball came to them. Often it just landed with a splat in the middle of the court, splattering the legs of the nearby player, sending her into a tizzy. Nev and Tracy stopped being ready for a return after Andy’s fifth consecutive ace, chatting with their new teammate, Jess. The three of them would look up occasionally to make sure they weren’t needed but then continued to talk, shifting the mud between them, running it through their toes.

At Andy’s seventh serve, Nev glanced up to make sure the ball got across the net and caught Jay’s spaced out eyes. She giggled at him and he noticed her gaze. A spark flashed in his sapphire eyes and a smile crossed his face. Nev’s dropped, “Jaaaaay,” she hollered, raising an accusatory finger in his direction, “don’t you dare!” He took off across the court and she turned to run. Before she could even take a step he was at her. “JAY!” But it was too late. Jay had swept her off her feet and planted her butt straight into the mud. Her arms came out as she fell backwards and he rolled her over once, twice, and again.

Tracy let out a howl and Jay stood up laughing. The twins sniggered silently and the girls just stood there, mouths hanging open in shock. Tracy doubled over, tears streaming from her face in laughter.

“You think that’s funny…” Sawyer’s voice came from the opposite side and he too took off cross court, headed straight to Tracy. Whether or not he ever saw it coming, Nev did. Instead of running, Tracy stood her ground, throwing herself into a deep front stance. Years of Tae Kwon Do training kicked in and she ducked her head and lowered her shoulder as he reached out for her with his beefy arms. He hit her left shoulder with his stomach and she lifted herself up, rotating slightly. Tracy grabbed his legs and threw them up and back, Sawyer’s feet came straight over his own head and flipped up behind her, landing square on his back in the mud.

Everyone was doubled over in laughter. Nev and Sawyer laid there, face up in the mud, chuckling. Ever-so-slightly, Nev felt a brush against her thigh and looked over at Sawyer who was watching her, trying to get her attention. His gaze darted to Jay’s feet and then to Tracy's, who were just inches from them, and Nev smiled. They darted simultaneously the ankles of their attackers, bringing them down to their knees. Sawyer simply pushed from there, but Nev had gotten back to her feet and jumped whole-heartedly onto Jay’s back, shoving him flat onto the ground. She scooped up a handful and smeared it in his lovely blonde locks, running her fingers through his hair, pushing the mud into his scalp. “Aaaw,” he let out a disgusted groan as she let out a small giggle. Still working the mud thoroughly through his hair, she let her giggle rise into a full blown laugh. It emanated from her belly; deep, soulful, healing. It rolled up to her chest to her throat and she could feel her heart smile for the first time in a long time.

Jay squirmed around until he was facing her. He grabbed her wrists to pull her off but she slipped from his grasp. Giggling, she grabbed another handful of mud, threatening to smear it across his face when she found herself pinned against a brick wall of a chest, being lifted off of him. “Sawyer!” She guessed as her legs went flailing through the air. He brought her down and she landed on her feet, but he did not release her. She squirmed to get her arms free from his grip, but he only pulled her in closer. Jay got to his feet and smiled at her as she squealed and squirmed in Sawyer’s grip. Jay bent down and swiped his fingers through the mud. He rose and dabbed her nose, painting it brown. “Jay,” she hollered at him, smiling. “Tracy! A little help!”

But Tracy was otherwise occupied as the twins had decided to join in the game. He painted smiley faces on her cheeks and smeared her forehead with his fingers. “Sawyer!” She grasped at his fingers and thumbs, trying to loosen his grip but it was futile. Jay finished with two swipes under her eyes, like she was a football player, and stood back to survey his masterpiece. As soon as Sawyer let her go she whipped around, dipped down and flung mud straight at Sawyer’s face. He ducked and she hit one of the pedicure triplets right in the middle of the chest. It splattered up her neck and onto her cheeks. Nev gasped, the princess screamed and all went silent save for Sawyer’s obnoxious laugh. The six of them, Nev, Tracy, Jay, Sawyer, Andy, and Alan froze where they stood, their jaws wagging in the wind. Tracy brought her hands to her open mouth to hide her amusement as the other two flittered about her trying to wipe her clean. The three of them turned to the pit, glaring.

“Sorry,” Nev said, mustering up as much sincerity as possible through the giggles. They turned and stalked off. Shaking the mud off, they trampled off the court as the food finally got off the grill.