I shouldn't have married the Crown Prince

Chapter 25

During break, Cadmael came to my desk and I suddenly realized how often I was with him nowadays. At the beginning I was avoiding him like crazy but now I was always with him. I ate with him, came to school with him, spent my breaks with him in the library, went home with him, taught him cello... The only moment we weren't together was during his sparring training.

I really liked being with him but suddenly realized the huge part he played in my life now and it was destabilizing. Cadmael noticed that I was lost in thought and bent down with a smile. I suddenly woke up when his face got a few inches from mine and jumped:

"What is it?"

He laughed before straightening up:

"What were you thinking about?"

I smiled.

"Nothing."

After school I offered Cadmael and Diana to eat together like last time and continue talking about books. Gilbert and Alphonse weren't far so I invited them too. However, Gilbert looked at his watch and shook his head:

"Not today. Andrew is taking me home early. I have things to do."

He didn't say more and just left. Gilbert didn't really like books anyway but something else bothered me:

"Is Andrew taking him home every day?

-It seems so."

Diana frowned:

"He was horrible to Gilbert and now he clings to him like a puppy. Does he think taking him home and bringing him food will make him forgive him? If I were Gilbert, I would have stopped talking to him already."

I couldn't say I didn't agree but knew things they didn't. Diana shrugged:

"Anyway, it's not my relationship. As long as Gilbert is happy I don't care but I really hope he is fine."

I nodded.

Gilbert was really fine. He didn't have to pay for his meals anymore and could eat the finest cuisine day after day without raising a finger. Moreover, he could sleep more because Andrew was taking him to school every day with a carriage. Andrew, who never did anything for others, woke up 30 minutes early just to come pick Gilbert up.

He wanted to spend every second with Gilbert realizing finally how he felt but it was too late. Gilbert didn't care at all about Andrew. He accepted his meals and carriage but that was all. Andrew didn't ask him to sleep with him anymore because Gilbert told him not to touch him. However he still asked him to go on dates again and again. Gilbert usually didn't have time and never accepted any present except for food.

At each break, Andrew appeared with a snack and asked Gilbert how his day went. He really wanted to hear Gilbert talk. He wanted to hear his voice and could listen to him talk about anything. Before he always pushed Gilbert away but now Gilbert didn't act anymore and spoke way less. He didn't seem bothered by Andrew's presence but wasn't happy either. He didn't care at all and that was worse.

Gilbert thought Andrew was just being strange and that would pass but seeing that he continued to come every day started to attract attention and Gilbert took the opportunity of the ride home to say:

"You should really stop looking for me at school if you don't want rumors to start spreading.

-I don't care about rumors.'

Gilbert shrugged.

"Then do as you wish."

Andrew really wanted Gilbert to react. He wanted him to say something, anything. If he didn't like rumors he would make them stop, if he liked them he would tell everyone how much he was an asshole all this time. He didn't care telling the others how horrible he was. He just wanted Gilbert to care but he didn't.

"Are you bothered by rumors?

-Nope. People will always talk."

Again no interest. Andrew felt really uncomfortable and wanted Gilbert to ask him to have s*x with him just to feel his warmth. At least he'd feel something from him:

"Can you come to my room tonight?

-Sure."

Gilbert answered as if they'd been talking about the weather. Andrew knew Gilbert didn't mind but he did.

"Forget it.

-Okay."

Just as Gilbert predicted, rumors spread quickly but for some reason, Gilbert was the one being criticized. Andrew being a noble, people didn't dare say bad things about him but that just irritated Andrew even more. Why wouldn't they leave Gilbert alone? He wanted to throw all of them in prison and Andrew did indeed get into a fight with people talking bad about Gilbert.

Seeing the wounds Gilbert frowned:

"What happened? Did you fall in the bathroom or something?"

Gilbert smiled as if he was really proud of his joke.

"They were saying things about you..."

Gilbert frowned:

"All this for that? Leave them be it isn't worth it.

-But they are criticizing you!

-And? They have been for ages."

Gilbert shrugged.

"It didn't bother you before. What can we do? I am so amazing that people can't help getting jealous. Having haters is proof that you are successful."

Gilbert laughed before leaving. Andrew watched him and couldn't move. Gilbert didn't worry about him. He didn't ask him if the wounds hurt and didn't help him get treated. In the contract only s*x was mentionned so Andrew couldn't complain but the Gilbert from before was really sweet. He looked at him with eyes filled only of his reflection. It hurt so much that Andrew couldn't walk.

What hurt the most was that Gilbert was right. People had been badmouthing him for a year and Andrew didn't do anything about it. He didn't care at all and let them talk. He didn't say anything but tat was even worse. How could he be so insufferable? How could he do all of this? He felt so ashamed that he wanted to disappear.

Andrew wasn't feeling good and went for drinks. He got completely drunk. He didn't care anymore because Gilbert didn't care about him. Moreover he had nothing to say because it was all his fault. Even if Gilbert had been acting, Andrew had no excuse. He had been dreadful and he really wanted to make things better. He didn't mind if Gilbert didn't love him, he just wanted him to see that he changed. He wanted Gilbert to care a little. Hate him or love him, didn't matter. Just care.

Andrew was really wasted and started talking nonsense about his feelings. Because of this, a rumor started that he liked a guy. After this people got more brave and started badmouthing him in secret. Homosexuality was taboo in this country and Andrew liking a man wasn't a little affair. Especially for a noble.

Andrew didn't dare go to Gilbert scared that he would be dragged into his problems. His friends started avoiding him but Andrew didn't mind. If they avoided him for this much then they didn't deserve to be called friends. He held his head high and not once regretted his drunk night.

People started getting bold and badmouthed him during class loud enough for others to hear. Andrew stood up which made everyone go silent. Even if he was a homosexual, Andrew was one of the most powerfull nobles in the country which made him frightening.

"I don't know if I like men but I am indeed in love with a specific man."

Andrew started laughing while all eyes were on him:

"You are making fun of me for the wrong reasons. I am in love with a man but he doesn't like me back."

This made Andrew laugh even more.

"I'm pitiful right? I love him so much but he doesn't care about me at all. I could die that he wouldn't bat an eye. And it is all deserved."

The teacher couldn't take it anymore and told Andrew to leave the class. He did and as he walked out he was followed by dead silence.

Gilbert heard about all the rumors and was speechless. He quickly went to find Andrew. He didn't care about rumors used to it and just grabbed him before dragging him behind a wall:

"Why would you say something like that?

-Something like what?

-That you loved a man.

-I only told the truth.

-What truth? You said that you loved a man. You know what people here think of these things. You are lucky to be a noble, you will only lose your title at most. Otherwise you would have been sent to prison.

-I don't care."

Gilbert seemed angry and that made Andrew happy. However his happiness didn't last long:

"I do! People badmouthed me just a few weeks ago because I followed you everywhere. They will think I like men too and I will be sent to prison. How could you be so selfish!"

Andrew was stunned. He didn't think Gilbert would be dragged into this. He had been avoiding him on purpose and thought it would be enough. Unfortunately, Andrew didn't know a lot about rumors. Gilbert signed:

"All of this just because you want to rebel against your father. I can't believe that you are taking it this far this time."

Andrew felt horrible for hurting Gilbert again but he wanted him to understand:

"It's not because of my father. I really have a man that I love."

Gilbert seemed surprised for a second but quickly woke up:

"Oh... Wait. Impossible."

Andrew wanted to disappear in a wall.

"Is it this hard to believe?

-Really hard. You are not fit for love."

He wanted to cry. He was really frustrated seeing what he had done.

"I changed.

-Sure, sure.

-What would it take for you to believe me?

-I believe you."

He didn't and Andrew clearly saw it.

"I am serious this time. I won't let anything happen to you. I'll protect you I promise.

-Andrew, sweety, you'll never be in love. At least not now. You just sleep around and have no affection for anyone but yourself. I mean, that isn't bad. You do you I guess but don't delude yourself at least. Find a partner with the same goals as you and you'll be happy. Find a sexfriend not a lover. Well, it will still be surprising if one partner is enough for your taste."

Andrew was really frustrated and didn't know what to do to make Gilbert believe him.