I shouldn't have married the Crown Prince

Chapter 30

Cadmael never took off his bracelet and went nowhere without his sword. He even took it to class and I was sure that he slept next to it. It was really cute to see this child being in love and he was acting so cheeky that I almost forgot that he was the male lead. I got quickly reminded when seeing him during one of his sparring training sessions. He had always been strong. Both physically and magically speaking. But being armed with his magic sword made him thousand times stronger.

No one could keep up with him and Alphonse was quickly defeated as well. No one dared come up to him and he had to train alone against a huge machine. Feeling my gaze, Cadmael turned around and beckoned me to approach. I looked at the machine with doubtful eyes.

"Do you want to try?"

I wasn't sure I wanted to be even close to this thing. It looked like a monster and threw magic attacks with a terrifying speed. Cadmeal guessed my thoughts and laughed:

"It's okay. It's easier than it looks.

-I'm sure it is for you.

-I could help you."

That's when it struck me. A few months ago, this young child couldn't even lift up a sword. I trained him and he achieved so much. A year had almost passed and he won the sparring tournament and now he was training against this thing. He was stronger than anyone and didn't need my help anymore. I couldn't even say that he was a child. He was still softhearted and quick to cry but he could kill any monster that came his way. Was it time for me to disappear or did I need to help him with his tendency for tears? Would people make fun of him for it or would it be okay? I still had a few years before he became emperor anyway.

"So?"

As I was lost in thought, Cadmael positioned himself behind me and englobed me with his hands before putting his sword between my palms. I still wasn't sure I wanted to do this and was really tense. Cadmael felt it and got even closer to me. This felt more like a hug than training.

"Relax. Everything will be fine."

I immediately got reminded of the times he helped me get on horse back and my body relaxed without me knowing. Cadmael smiled seeing the effect he had on me and started the machine. Let's be honest: I would have been seriously hurt without Cadmael behind me. The machine wasn't stopping for a reason and I was completely exhausted after a few minutes. I laid down on the grass and tried my best to calm my heartbeat.

Cadmael sat down next to me and I felt his gaze wander on my face for a few minutes. When I opened my eyes he smiled at me:

"You would manage it after a few more tries.

-No. Never again."

Cadmael seemed a bit disappointed.

"I'll leave you the sword."

This made him immediately smile:

"Is this a promise?

-What do you mean?

-I'll be your sword."

I wanted to accept without thinking but held back at the last second:

"You don't have to be anyone's sword, Cadmael. You have to protect yourself first.

-I want to.

-But...

-I want to be your sword."

He seemed really determined and I didn't know how to tell him no. He wasn't a child anymore he wouldn't turn greedy just because I abandoned once:

"Okay."

Cadmael seemed really pleased by my answer and for a few seconds I looked at the sky in silence. However feeling his gaze on my face made me uneasy and I tried to say something:

"What will I be if you are going to be the sword?

-Whatever you desire to be.

-That's a good question."

I had thought so much about Cadmael and Diana outside of classes that I didn't ask myself what I wanted to do later on.

"I don't know...

-You don't have to work if you don't want to. I'll take care of you."

I laughed thinking Cadmael was joking:

"That would be too troublesome. I don't think I really need to work to get money. My father has plenty and I don't want a really extravagant life. I just want to do something I love. Maybe become a historian, or a pharmacist, or a doctor... All of these sound great but I don't know which one would suit me best.

-You still have time to decide.

-I guess."

I closed my eyes appeased by the wind and without knowing fell asleep.

The end of the year arrived really quickly after this and we quickly arrived at exam season. Everyone was stressed out and studying day and night in hope of doing well enough to get to the next year at least. I really liked studying but now that it was for an exam I got really anxious for some reason and I felt as if I couldn't remember anything. This made me even more anxious and it was a vicious circle.

We all went to the library to study together and I even managed to convince Gilbert who never studied. Andrew was here too and his eyes never left Gilbert. He got him things to eat, drink and motivated him to continue until the end. Gilbert really wasn't interested in studies but Andrew never let him give up which was kind of nice to see. I didn't want to forget about Andrew's past wrongdoings but this was really nice.

Diana didn't seem anxious at all and her face was glowing as always. She always had great marks and felt confident in her knowledge. She usually said:

"There is no point stressing over this. I'll do my best and if I have a bad grade then it was because I wasn't good enough. I will be next time."

I really admired her confidence and knew she was right but couldn't convince my body. Alphonse didn't care about his grades just as Diana didn't about hers and Cadmael was even less bothered by all of this. Was I the only one who couldn't calm down? Cadmael didn't even study. He just continued reading the books I recommended to him as if he didn't have the weight of the future country on his shoulders.

I couldn't take this sight anymore and went out to have a little air. Cadmael immediately followed me and he silently sat on a bench next to me. We looked at the trees for a bit and I still couldn't calm down, constantly fidgeting. I couldn't stop playing with my hands without realizing and my leg couldn't stay in place either, shaking. I suddenly felt something push down on my leg. I frowned, surprised and saw that it was Cadmael's hand trying to stabilize my leg.

"You are the smartest person in this school, Eschyle. If you fail, we all do.

-Thank you for saying that but what if my mind goes blank? I can't remember anything I learned today.

-We could study together and help each other out. I'll ask you questions and you'll do the same, okay?"

I really wanted to just give up. Cadmael felt it and intertwined our fingers, not letting me flee. He smiled softly and started asking me questions. I couldn't answer any of them and my heartbeat became frantic. Cadmael started rubbing the back of my hand but nothing could help.

"Okay, you know what? My turn. Ask me questions and we'll come back to you later."

I was starting to have a panic attack but Cadmael forced me to ask him something. I asked the first question I could think of and didn't even know the answer to it which terrified me even more.

"It was in 1644. There was a huge fire and only a little girl survived thanks to her uncle who heard her crying."

I frowned:

"It was 1646 and it was her uncle's friend who saved her because he heard a dog barking looking at the window and thought it meant something."

Cadmael smiled.

"Really? Thank you, I didn't know that. You are really the best master."

Cadmael asked me for another question and I still had no idea what the answer was:

"It was in 1423.

-No. It was 1422.

-Really? Thank you again."

I felt my heart steadying slowly. I asked Cadmael a few other questions and started to slowly remember what I learned. Cadmael felt that I had calmed down and smiled:

"See? You knew all of it."

I raised my eyebrows suddenly realizing what just happened:

"You did it on purpose."

Cadmael continued smiling not letting go of my hand:

"You already know everything. There is no use studying. Now you just have to be confident."

I squeezed Cadmael's hand with a smile. He didn't do anything but for some reason my heart felt completely at ease.