Why did you save me?
858 Words
************************************
Trigger warning -
self harm, depression and strong language.
************************************
Jacksons POV (brother)
I stopped my so called 'dad' from following Mum into the bathroom. I didn't want him to see her naked, I know he already has though. Mum called from inside the bathroom, "CALL 999!!! NOW!!" My 'dad' look concerned "I'm not gonna have my toy" is what I though he was thinking. I found out what he has done because one night I was heading to the bathroom to grab some pain killers for a really bad headache and I walked past her room, her door was open slightly and could here dad in there, I slowly made my way to the door and I was horrified with what I saw. She was naked an he was in between her legs doing something. I couldn't believe it. I should have told Mum, maybe if I did this wouldn't have happened. Why didn't I do something? I was snapped back into reality with the though of calling 999. I pulled out my phone and typed 999, it began to ring. Ring Ring. Ring Ring. "This is emergency services how may we help you?" Said a nice lady on the other line. "I-I need a-an ambulance" I stuttered thinking about what I saw in the bathroom. "What's the emergence?" She replied with a soft voice. "M-my sister she- she um she has cu-cut herself really badly, she um tri-tried to um kill her-herself." After that I gave them are address and they said they would be here in 5-10 minutes. Please don't take her God! I saw my mum and my 'dad' hugging wit him saying things like 'she's gonna be okay' or 'she gonna make it love'. I hate him with all my guts, he lead her to do this. The sick bastard!..
The ambulance arrived and took her straight to the hospital. Please don't die sissy. Was the only though ringing in my head. I walked into her room to see if I could grab anything for her when I saw a diary sat on the bed. I picked it up and opened it to today's page.
21st of November 2016
I have had enough, I just want to give up. I can't eat anymore cos i feel fat, but I try and eat infront of Mum, I can't sleep cos I haunted by bad memories, Hell I can't even look in the mirror anymore.
I see no purpose in being here anymore because I'm just causing more pain than needed. My mum is happy with my arse hole of a father but what can I do. I now know that Jackson knows the truth but I'm not happy about it, he will treat me like I'm made of glass and treat me like a baby. My life has come to the point after almost 6 years of feeling hateful toward myself, the thoughts I have of myself, how fat I am, how ugly I am, how I'm so stupid and selfish I am. I'm a horrible person. I want it to stop. I am to blame for everything. I f**k s**t up and am to blame, I blame myself too, hell I even hate myself, I should have done something, anything. I want to make it stop even if I have to. I give up. After almost 6 years of putting myself through the pain I want it to stop. I'm gonna make it stop one way or any other.
Please forgive me. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I will miss you. I'm sorry. So very sorry.
Love Rosie x
Ps:I'll never stop loving you x
By the time I had finished reading the entry I could feel a tear slip away from my eye. How can someone at the age of 15 know these types of feeling. I'm going to help her no matter what I'm going to stop this from happening again. You will be happy. I promise you will. I promise.
Time skip- at the hospital
She was just lying there motionless. Almost dead. But she wasn't, she's alive. She looks so peaceful, almost happy I guess. I wonder if she is dreaming.
I made sure that my 'dad' didn't get near the room, Mum kinda looked pissed at that, but yet she just brushed it off, 'sissy you are gonna have to tell her the truth.' I though. "Please be okay sissy...."
Rosies POV
I'm laying on a cloud but all I see is black. Am I finally free? Im free from hell. Is this what it feels like to die? My heaven was coming closer. My dream was coming true.
But no it had to end with my eye lids feeling heavy and the sound of beeping.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
That's the sound that tells me I'm alive. I heard a small whisper say "Please be okay sissy...." and I tried to open my eyes. My eye lids fluttered open but squeezed shut from the bright white light. I opened them again and looked at my brother sat next to my bed "Rosie??..."
- Writer
