GUILTY for BEING ALIVE

Those sounds aren’t a normal for someone like you but for that who's living a whole life listening to this sound because of war seems like normal for him. He says that his father went yesterday to bring food for his family, it has been a day and half and he didn't return yet, he doesn't know if he's dead or he couldn't come back because of that military tank which is standing at the beginning of their street. His mother went this morning also to get anything they can eat, but she didn't come back too. He is wondering now about what he have to do with his two siblings who are 7 months old his parents left behind them, the diapers they had ran out, he found some pads of his mother's tried hard to put them instead, but they are not much they are just 5 or 6 in number, he doesn't have any idea about what he should do for them if the milk ran out too. He thought that any of his family would help, but how he can get in touch with them after the war began there is no signal, no one can call any one, no one can call for any other kind of help. He asked himself why they are fighting for their lives like this? Why they can’t live in peace like any other European land or even Arabian land. He left his siblings in the tent -where they live after they moved from their home because of war- and went to get some air 4 to 5 steps away trying to move his mind out of those thoughts which are too much on a little boy like him. He fell asleep for 2 hours trying to dream with a good peaceful life and a happy ending for this horrible war, to wake up on a big explosion sound to look behind into the tent where he left his siblings to find out it turned into ashes searching for them to find pieces of their bodies lying around. Now he is alone with no family, no home, no food, no land and no life. He is looking back to the sky feeling guilty for being alive with all these dead bodies around, has no place to go, no one to live with. It feels like this explosion took all his thoughts and turned them to an awful past.