Devil's Sanity

The Mundane

I had finally woken up but in spite of that my sense of time had been thrown off. There wasn’t really a clock or anything so I couldn’t really tell how long I had been asleep, I had my cell-phone with me but once I woke up it seemingly had died out, and I guess it had been for a while because it wouldn’t even turn on for a mere second when I tried to turn it back on like it would usually do.

The items that I had asked for were found to be on the desk although that was nice to know I can’t help but wish for something of better condition, they were blank like I asked but the way they looked… I don’t I couldn’t really explain what I didn’t like about them, possible that they just differed from the typical notebook paper I was used to rather than being white it was brown and the cover was blank but made of… is this wood? Or perhaps something similar, it was all very off to me.

The lead of the pencils had been dulled I tried to sharpen it but the pencil was kinda big and thus it wouldn’t fit into the handheld pencil sharpener, as a result, i had to result to using my nails to not so sharpen it although it wasn’t much it was somewhat enough for me i guess at the same time I was stomped at the fact that they didn’t have nice enough pencils or at least the ones I was used to using.

I tried to pass the time making a few drawings here and there may be something I could recall from my dream oddly enough several of them became clear to me perhaps a little to clear but at the same time, I couldn’t help but feel this ecstatic about it since lately it’s been so long since I could recall any kind of dream. It’s like that time I was typing and suddenly I could do so without looking at the keyboard but maybe this was just going to be a one time think and….her, would I ever see her again… probably not...damn that was a pretty cool dream to bad I can’t return to it like some inner world from, bleach.

I had been at this for hours now not sure why perhaps i was waiting for something to happen today if it would. In mid-thought something touched me a hand touched me but I didn’t know who or how, I didn’t hear the door open, and that door is pretty loud with how it opens. I reached up and felt a face skin so soft and hair seemingly short.

I looked up to see a face, a nice one but oh so blank, hovering over me. She stared down at me for a while, I couldn’t tell if her attention was to me or perhaps the drawing itself. Before long she began to speak up seemingly on behalf of someone rather than herself

“Mr. Rodosu, I am your assistant nurse” her voice was soft and kind of subtle. Though her statement didn’t make sense at face value, usually an assistant nurse is paired with a doctor, right? And I’m certainly no doctor. Oddly enough she didn’t make any more conversation beyond that. Or at least not until I asked. “ so why are you here then ?” I spoke. And odd enough she only said, “ to assist.” I kept going to try to get a straight answer from her but she only kept insisting that she was here to assist. What did that even mean? Assist in what? Like a maid or something?

“ what do you mean when you say assist” I poked, perhaps she had a different meaning in mine. “ simple that I am to help you with anything you may want or need “. that was how she explained it, so something like a servant i had thought. Even so humans don’t tend to account for everything so she probably wouldn’t do anything if i asked. It's not like she would have stripped naked and done the cha-cha in front of me if i had asked, right? Even so it was probably important that i test those boundaries to see where that statement began and ended.

“ Alright, can we explore the asylum a little bit?” I said. It seemed like a reasonable request plus i had been in here so long, i personally would have liked to walk around a bit. “ that we can but i must insure you that there is not much to see.” she answered considerably

“ I don't care, I'm tired of sitting in this room anyway” I told her, although at the time it had not crossed my mind how we were actually going to get out, the door only opens from the outside right? I went over to grab one of the note books and pencils before hearing the creak of the door open once i turned around the nurse had been standing somewhat pass the door frame… i guess there was someway to open it from the inside after all..

‘ he is a miss ‘

‘That was odd, what was that, it was like a pause or skip in my thought process. Never mind i can’t remember it now.’ 

As we made our way to what seemed like an elevator I was beginning to feel a form of relief, possible from being able to venture out of the room for the first time in a while. Once we reached it, she stopped, turned and took the time to explain the structure of the asylum .

“ The asylum has 13 operational floors with 10 being for inmates, one being for nourishment, another for health based procedures and another which is simply the exit and entrance of the asylum… where would you like to venture first?” the nurse spoke, I think I could get used to hearing her voice.

I began thinking about it, and it was as the nurse said, there really wasn’t a lot to venture too. I could feel a grinding feeling in my stomach and i think i could even hear it, i bet the nurse could hear it too though she didn’t seem tempted to make any kind of suggestion or comedic remark about me being hungry. 

“ Is there somewhere we can go to eat,” i asked, I know what she said but that to me did not necessarily imply that food would be there.. Being an asylum nourishment could be anything from pills to insulin shots.

Prior to before we entered the elevator the nurse pulled a key on a leash from… well i won’t say. I kinda understood why an elevator would be key operated or at least I would like to think that I knew.

Walking into the elevator i noticed something, the nurse said there was only 13 floors but the elevator indicates there to be 26. Although the other 13 are all missing buttons. In Spite of this I didn't think much of it, maybe a choice of renovation? Or maybe this elevator was just very hold. Even so it was oddly larger then any normal elevator at the time i was convinced that they could have fit a whole room in here, my mind quickly wondered about converting a elevator into a room and how it would freak one out for every time they opened the door and found themselves on a new floor. It actually sounded like a cool design.

In the middle of my thought process that I was sure was caused by my ADHD it had been broken by some urge to hold my side. It wasn't like there was a pain or anything more like I thought something was going to happen but didn’t perhaps it had something to do with my comma-like dream? I can’t remember that part too clearly, something about bones? I don’t know. The nurse didn’t seem too concerned though.

Before long the elevator began to open up again, we as a pair presumed to step out of it and then moments after glancing at what was some variation of a cafeteria or maybe even an open space possible both, at the base of my neck my head jolted up word. I didn’t know why, usually when that happens it's from an odd stimulation from my brain like that one time I ate that sheet of mint. A pillar that was centered in the room was the first thing I noticed and yet I couldn't help but wonder if I had been here before as of recently but it looked different somehow. No broken glass, rust or wailing … something, but what…

The nurse turned to me only now seeming concerned not in her expression but her voice, her sweet voice. It brought me back from my mini episode. She asked if i was ok and i affirmed to her that i was, i wasn’t but what was she going to do? Or more so what was I supposed to tell her? That i found someone weiling here last night? What then?

We presumed to enter the cafeteria or at least I believed that’s what this place was. There was no staff, it was just a bunch of vending machines and occasional microwaves though from the look of it, it seemed kitchens were in place and something of accessible. She brought me to one of the vending machines most of it was filled with sweets but there were also saltier or healthier options in there too, that seemed so bizarre to me. The nurse withdrew a key that she used to open up the vending machine. I thought only the people who restocked the machines had those, so I proceeded to comment on her life choice.

“ i don’t mean to be a stickler for religious morals but isn’t this stealing?” i poked

“ this is fine, i have a special permission called free will” she spoke

It seemed sarcastic now but at the time her expression and tone was so blunt that the idea of her possibly using sarcasm just sort of flew over my head you know.

“ Would you like a key as well?” she confirmed.

“ Well, if you're offering ?” i considered

“ i am” she quickly shot back

“ okay” i spoke 

Though i wish i had been somewhat nearly as sure then as i am right now, i got over it in due time but still. She handed me a container of jello, the one with the fruit in it you know the one, seemed something 2 or even 3 people could share, not that i would under normal circumstances.

We had taken a seat at one of the normal tables. And well naturally i went to work on the cup of jello as any normal person would do, i was able to pry the lead off with my finger nails, one of the mundane but also respectful reasons my fingernails were as long as they were. A plastic spoon was stuck to the top of the lid and with good reason. The jello wasn’t exactly all that sweet but the texture was all that mattered at the end of the day…

The nurse looked in my direction though eye contact was mainly avoided at the time there was no reason other than the fact that it was generally awkward. She then lifted her head and spoke up.

“ katisu… will you be ok here by yourself for a while? I need to take care of something for a bit” she spoke. I didn’t know what it was or why she couldn’t bring me with her or maybe it was the jello, or maybe it was an area people like me weren’t allowed to go.

A moment of uncomfortable silence as i paused for a moment

“ you will come back to me?” i spoke

“ of course, i'm practically yours after all” she spoke

“ ok then, i should be ok here for a time then” i told her 

With a nod of her head she slowly walked back. I never really crossed my mind at the time but the way that dialogue went kinda seemed a little raunchy. I try not to think about it too much now if I can help it. Looking around this place is a bit quiet and oddly unsupervised. I spot the pillar once more, no reaction this time though, no jolt, twitch or even squirming. It was once told to me that when one dreams it's the result of a generated film from all one has experienced of their life mixed with a few symbolisms if this is the case then i wonder… how much of it has really been a dream?