Moments To Live For

Sunrise

Chapter 3

Sunrise

Today is going to be a hard day, I told myself as I was buttoning my blouse and looking at myself in the mirror. I looked at my reflection and was not happy with what I saw. I was too thin coming from the hospital. I need to eat more, I thought. I wasn’t bad looking though, I had long black hair and pale skin. I had hazelnut eyes and thick lips. People told me I was beautiful but I couldn’t see it myself. I thought I was awkward looking compared to my sister who was the taller one, the more sexy and the more popular. Today was my first day back to work and apparently, I work as a travel photographer at a huge photography company named CLICK and I don’t even remember it. I graduated from law school and have always thought that that is what I wanted to do, so imagine my shock when they told me that I gave up law for photography. My family told me that I loved my job and that it gave me great joy. So, I was encouraged to go back and see for myself, before making any regrettable decisions. But for now, the only thing I remember loving is law and I am only doing this to please my family. I look at myself in the mirror and I am not excited at all, I don’t even know what to wear or what to expect. I’ve never been so nervous in my entire life. It has been a month now since I got out of the hospital and I have been trying to re-acquaint myself with everything in my life, especially the ones I had no memory of. Remembering places and things is easy enough, but nothing is harder than trying to remember the people who they say had a close relationship with me, people I apparently knew before the accident. Sometimes I feel bad because I just can’t seem to connect with them the same way they say I usually do. They are complete strangers to me again and it was hard to see their disappointed faces when they realized I was just not ready to connect with them yet. I’m just glad that they respect me enough to keep their distance for now. So, imagine how hard it will be for me to go back to work that I don’t remember doing and don’t remember loving, and to meet people I don’t remember working with.

I fixed my hair in a tight ponytail, picked up my camera bag, and went down to get some breakfast. My mom was there, having her coffee as usual while my dad watched the news. “Here I go, wish me luck!” I exclaimed as I entered the kitchen. My parents stood up and gave me a hug, reminding me to just have fun with it and if it doesn’t work out, I can always go back to doing what I remember that I love doing. I watched my parents go back to their morning routine and I reminded myself how lucky I was to have the best parents in the whole world. I quickly grabbed a sandwich and went on my way to the office.

Driving was easy enough because of this app called Waze that tells me where to go. But even without it, the streets are easy enough to remember as they are still very familiar to me. I figured I grew up here and I have great memories of this place and that is why it is hard to erase these streets from my memory.

The office was something I never expected. It was located in a remote part of the city and the building was a renovated steel factory. The place looked so artsy. It was a huge silver warehouse. As I walked in, I was astounded by what I saw. It was beautiful. The entire factory was transformed into a huge photo gallery. Each photographer who they fondly call the “Hotshots” is assigned an area where they can display their work to potential clients/buyers. One Hotshot was an awkward girl who has with her her pet Chihuahua, and you can tell she loves dogs because most of her displays are photos of dogs. I continued to admire the displays and you can really tell that each display portrays the personality of the artist who did the work. Being there felt like you are being transported to a different place. You can really tell that these artists view the world very differently through their cameras. Their work speaks volumes, especially to one’s emotions and some are so strong that it comes out through the viewers, it was interesting to see people laughing, crying, and some even getting upset while looking at the display. I now understand why I would love this place and this work, except I still don’t see myself doing it. I reached out for my camera bag and it felt so foreign to me like it was something I would never see myself carry in my entire life.

Suddenly I heard someone call my name, “Maria! There you are, Welcome back!”. A tall lady with auburn hair and big glasses came running toward me. She gave me a bear-tight hug, and because I just stood there frozen in shock, she immediately let me go and apologized. “I am so sorry, I know I told myself to go slow but I cannot help myself. I am so happy to see you! My name is IYA, I’m the founder of Click and your boss.” I immediately felt guilty for not remembering her, something that usually happens to me when I meet someone that I am supposed to know. So, she said with great enthusiasm, “Let me get you re-acquainted to your space.” She led me toward the second floor and into this room. Outside the room, is a huge photo of me holding a camera and below the portrait is my name. I looked at my photo and I didn’t seem to recognize myself. I stepped into space and I was mesmerized by what I saw. It was like looking at a whole new side of me. A different life, a different me. I never thought I was this creative. My work is mostly focused on sunsets and sunrises of the different places I apparently traveled to. A few photos have people as subjects but they are mostly just silhouettes, so it is quite hard to identify who they are. There is a whole section about a couple who seemed madly in love and they mix so well in the background you can almost feel jealous of them. “They are beautiful aren’t they?”, Iya remarked. “You have always talked about how they remind you of the days blessing and that there is always a new story for every sunrise and sunset, that is why you love taking photos of them so much.” I stared into my work and I felt a tear trickle down my cheeks. “They are beautiful. I never knew in my wildest dream that this is who I have become. It is like looking at the life of a whole new person. I am so confused and scared. What if I don’t learn to become this person again?” I exclaimed. “You don’t have to, you just have to be who you are now and we will be here for you no matter what.” Iya responded. And we hugged each other. “I’m glad to meet you and thank you”, I whispered to her.

“Anyway!", releasing me from my hug. "Before we get all mushy and stuff, I said I am here for you and I promised you a slow transition before you decide to quit or not, so…. I am going to place you under an internship program.” Iya declared. “I have found a perfect mentor for you and you will love me for this”. She then pointed to a guy walking toward us.

This guy was a tall person, probably too tall for my taste. He had broad shoulders, a gorgeous body, clearly, a man who loved to work out, clean-shaven, and very beautiful facial features. He really is a very, very handsome guy and when he smiled while heading over to us, I felt my knees shake. All of a sudden, I felt all nervous and sweaty and my throat became so dry. This is so bad, I told myself, I cannot have a crush on my mentor! I haven’t even started working with him yet. This is going to be a problem. He held out his hand and introduced himself as Jose.