What was the point of loving her if he couldn’t express that love? His love for her wasn’t a secret. It was his self-loathing that was the secret. He didn’t want to admit that leaving teaching had been a mistake based in pride. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he had been wrong all along. s**t! He was pig-headed, just like his father. God, he’d put so much effort into not being like his father, and look what had happened. He heard a voice from somewhere within his head whisper, ‘You manifest what you put your attention on.’ Yeah, well he’d done that, hadn’t he?
Somewhere, he’d read something along the lines that your world is an illusion, constructed from the thoughts you think and influenced by the thoughts you try to suppress. He leant back into the chair. The illusion that had b
