Unrequited Feelings- Journey

If I give my life, would you bring him back to me God.  I am sorry Ved forgive me! *** Dev The lights were out due to the storm outside. There was an urgent knock on the door; I took my candle to see who has arrived. It was an unexpected and unwanted guest, Max's girlfriend Emily. She looked pale and asked me to help her with a girl who was in the back seat of her car.  That earned her the look it’s what she usually gets from me. She flinched a little but elaborated how the lady collapsed right on the road around the corner. She brought her here since I was the free available doctor for her. I rolled my eyes for that. I wasn't overjoyed to help her since she invites trouble wherever she goes. I wonder how she manages to get herself into new kinds of trouble all the time. Every time she opens her mouth she foretells a new disaster. We reached her car, Emily opened the door and there she was, lying in the back seat. Gosh can’t help but be annoyed by her too since she got miss walking talking disaster at my doorsteps. Her face was covered partly with her curly dark hair along with a frail body. The cold winds were dancing to the striking beats of thunder. Sighing, I took the girl's wrist and checked her pulse which seemed normal. Pulling her out a little I went closer to her face and the wind blew moving her hair from her face like a curtain that opens the stage. Chills ran throughout my body, I was shocked. It was beyond all the rules of reality. I couldn't ever fathom her being here but it was her, a tear rolled out of my eye. Isn’t it Kavika Deokar like the Kavika right in front of me, moreover in my arms? All my senses were so focused on her that I didn't even realize I had stopped breathing for a moment. There was just her and I. Emily shook me in a worried manner which brought me back. She asked whether everything was alright with Kavika or not? I pushed Emily's hand away from Kavika, and gripping Kavika tightly in my arms, I charged at her with a harsh accusing glare, "Did you hit her from your car Emily? Tell me the truth." Her breath revealed the traces of alcohol but so did on Kavika’s breath. "You were drinking and driving?" That earned her another deadly glare from me, if only she would have been a guy, I gritted my teeth at the thought. Panicked with concern I checked Kavika’s pulse again, she was alright. There was a frantic desperation in my manner but it was hardly my concern momentarily. No external wounds, no major bleeding or anything just scrapped knees & palms, lastly wet and dirty clothes that’s it. “Torch,” I shouted and with shaky hands she plainly handed me the phone. “With the torch on Emily!” I barked. Soon she handed me and I checked her pupils after a careful reassurance I took her closer and sighed with relief. I didn't know but a scared Emily had inched away from me. I was totally out of my character, I don’t do barking, my demeanor is more inclined towards ignoring and doing my own work while maintaining my low profile but I couldn't contain my raging emotions, the very thought of Kavika being harmed by anyone was making me turn red with anger. How stupid of me to be affected by her even now? Well even after realizing that I didn’t part away from Kavika and kept her in my arms. But I pulled myself together, released a deep breath and finally managed a soft look of everything's okay. I assured Emily the same and that a good rest should be okay for Kavika. Yet on the safer side I recommended her to visit a hospital. I was itching to still keep her intact in my arms but I had to let her go. This is enough, I reminded myself. Emily sighed expressing, "Thank God!" and continued, "She looks a bit familiar like I've seen her somewhere." Well yes Emily is a huge Kavika fan. Annoying!! One extra reason I needed to do less stalking and on the contrary also one of the reason why I hate Emily. She had always wished to meet Kavika and seems like luck is in her favor. But Santa came bearing gift for you too, my brain sneered. Ignoring my useless thoughts I focused on to what should be done now? I cannot come forth Kavika. And if I remind Emily of Kavika’s identity she might stick to Kavika like a chewing gum sticks to hair and that’s a risk for me. Emily is stupid and magnet to troubles plus drunk and I don’t wish to have her anywhere near Kavika or me.  Soon Emily slyly dumped Kavika's responsibility on me stating the excuse that it's better for Kavika to stay by the doctor's side, that's me. She left but promised to be back here tomorrow. As much as it’s relieving that Kavika isn’t in trouble-magnet-drunken-driving Emily’s car still it’s too much for me to bear. Pacing to and fro I was grilling my own self. What was I thinking!  I stood with my head hanging in front of the sofa where Kavika is now lying. The worst nightmare of my life would be Kavika waking up and slapping me for all the various deserving reasons. What will I do? I was scared yet there was this bubbly bouncy feeling in my stomach to actually see her in front of me in flesh and blood after so long. She was cold and a bit wet, patches of mud stuck over her leg, knee scraped a little making her white skin a bit red. She was peacefully sleeping and I couldn't take my eyes off her. She looks pale and thin than I had last seen her on an interview. There are so many things I want to say to her yet I wish to go away from her to keep my secret safe but I also want to keep her, safe and near me. Finally listening to my mind's verdict as my next step, I pulled her up in my arms and started moving towards the door when she mumbled, "Ved." A current sizzled through me, stopping me. I looked at her carefully, there was darkness surrounding us. She was asleep but a tear slipped out of her eye. The legs which were going to take her away from me and my reality took a detour and brought her right back where she was, on the sofa. I wish to hug her but I don't even know if I'm allowed to touch her. Yet tracing her cheek softly and tucking her hair back I stared at her for a while, to monitor her. And… my brain coughed! All these years I kept stalking her though from afar. But I had walked away from her long back and even now I should do the same. I don't know what is the real disaster her being here or me being here? The winds again took the speed and now there was a snowstorm about to come in full throttle.  No this is not right, was the only thing that kept buzzing in my mind.  I stepped away from her to compose myself and pulled out my cell phone. It was the right thing to do. I called up a family friend to come and look after her while carefully instructing him about what needs to be done. As I finished my conversation I turned around and saw Kavika standing in front of me. She didn't hear me did she? There was enough darkness around us with few flickering candles as the only light source. I held my breath again hoping she would not recognize me.  Her vague expression was like she saw through me which seemed more likely as an ignore to me. It stung. I don't know what was I even thinking or hoping. She recognizing me right away and then what? I questioned my dumb self. It's been 4 long years and I've changed so much from the past. I have grown taller, matured physically have trimmed beard over my stubble along with this scar on my forehead which I didn't have back then. While approaching me she stumbled over the table and rashly I tried to reach out to her, "Kavika" I breathed. I analysed what I did in a fraction of a second. Her eyes lit with fire making it hard for me to breathe. God! This is torturing. There was a dim light of recognition in her eyes which I could see not clearly but certainly. Soon she welled up a little. Standing right against me with a sad smile but eyes filled with hope and tears. After carefully gazing at me for good five minutes she leapt on me while holding my collar.  She breathed, "Ved, you're Ved right-" Her voice was shaking a bit but I couldn't distinguish her joy or sadness it resided along with the disbelief for this situation. She hugged me tightly with her shivering hands while crying like a little girl. Her tears wet my shirt. I was taken back to the past again. I felt bad for her; the emotions were catching up to me so I hugged her back. All the flash backs of her crying washed over me. She thinks I am Ved, internally I smiled at the painful thought while being unable to make a clear decision for this situation and ending up losing my grip on her. It was a halfway battle for me of who I am today & who I was. I just cursed myself for not having enough strength to leave her and break her bubble.  After what felt like an eternity of having her in my arms she looked up at me and gave me a bleak smile. All the thoughts of her slapping me or slashing me with her sharp tongue vanished. I took her in my arms and brought her back to sofa and laid her there. All the way she kept gazing at me without blinking like I was some kind of treasure she wouldn't take her eyes off from. I pulled out my cell phone and texted discreetly, “Don't come, handled the situation. Thanks though.”