I hate that I love him

“Demi”, table 8 screams my boss through the hatch in the diner where I work. “ok, ok” I call back picking up two plates of steak and fries and walking over to table 8. There sits a cute couple who are making eyes at each other. “one steak medium rare” I say in my most polite voice looking from him to her. The handsome young man holds up his hand, “oh that’s me” he smiles taking the plate from me. “And one well done” I say looking at the pretty blonde giving me a funny look. Its a look Ive gotten used to ever since the start of junior high, Ive never considered myself beautiful or stunning, or slim with killer legs, that’s the sort of s**t people put on me all the time, and it gets me the wrong kind of attention from other females. Once my shift has finished I walk the three blocks home, its chilly tonight but I hate the bus, too many weirdos if you ask me. I open the door to my shitty one bed apartment and step inside, I close the door with my foot and lean my back against it. Its already past midnight when I fall into bed, my head is pounding form all the shouting Mick my boss does, Ive been working at Delaneys for the past 6 months, its a small diner run by Mick and his wife Helen, they pay a s**t wage and treat their staff like dogs but I have no choice, the rent needs to be paid and I need to eat. The next day I walk down town to do some window shopping, its the only thing I can afford to do these days. Stepping into a fabric store I wonder the isles scanning my eyes over all the pretty patterns and designs, I run my hand over the satin and silk, the velvet and wool, I hear a conversation just behind me between two middle aged women, they are discussing different fabrics for an up coming event, one woman likes the soft blue silk while the other lady who is dressed so elegantly likes the cream satin. “yes but which will it go best with the ice queen theme” says the First Lady holding them both up, “well I simply can not decide Carol that’s why I’m asking you” says the more elegant one placing her well manicured hand on her chin. I step closer and give a small cough, I point to them both, “why not use both colours” I say getting their attention. They both look in my direction, “really” says the elegant lady looking back at the fabric then to me. “well yes you see, if your having an ice theme then the cream could be the starting point”, I pause, “like walking into a winter wonder land”, I pause again, “imagine walking into a cave with tiny lights covering the ceiling, the blue would be the water and your tables covered in crisp white cloth like ice burgs floating under a nights sky, it could look very magical and beautiful” I add stepping back. After a minutes pause the elegant ladies speaks, “I think your absolutely right” she says touching both pieces of material and looking at her friend. “let’s get them both” she says giving her friend the nod. I turn to walk away when the elegant lady calls me back. “I say young lady you have rather a good eye, and your imagination is wonderful”. “Thank you” I say shyly. “Tell me is this something out do for a living” she asks making me blush. “oh heavens no” I reply, “I mean yes it’s something I’m passionate about and something I studied when I left high school, but no it’s not what I do for a living” I smile watching her watch me. “well I think you should consider taking it up again, you clearly have a gift” she smiles again. “well maybe” I say giving her a nod and proceeding to walk away. “Tell me young lady what is it you do for a living” she asks making me spin around. oh how embarrassing, I sink into my own soul thinking of what this beautiful woman will think of me. “I work at Delaney’s diner” I reply quietly. she looks me up and down. “Tell me, have you done any paid work in this sort of thing before” she asks walking closer to me. “I designed the entire theme to my sisters wedding reception” I say feeling proud, and seeing the look on my sisters face when she saw it for the first time holds such a fond memory for me. “And would your sister give you a glowing review” she asks not knowing that my sister passed away last year. “ yes she would” I say swallowing hard, “if she was alive she would give me the best review ever” I add feeling my throat tense up. “oh my dear I’m so sorry” she says placing her hand on my arm, “I did not mean to cause you discomfort or heartache”. she looks so genuine when she speaks it warms my heart. “please it’s I who should not be causing you discomfort with my sad story, I just wanted to give you my opinion” I add giving her a strong smile. “ look I’ll tell you what” she says grabbing her purse from off her shoulder, let me give you my card and if you would be so kind as to send me some pictures of your sisters wedding, I’m sure I could throw some work your way”. she hands me her card and I stare at the name, “please forgive me Mrs Jeffries” I say feeling like a complete i***t for not knowing who she was. she touches my arm again, “it’s ok dear, I’m just a normal person” she adds looking over to her friend who is waving at her. I look up at her beautiful face, she has no idea how she saved me last year when I was looking after my dying sister, I couldn’t pay the rent of buy food let alone pay the medical bills. The Peter Jeffries charity donates millions of dollars to worthy charities all over Minneapolis especially maple grove. “Your charity helped me last year” I say making her look at me with concern on her face. “Your charity helped me with my sisters medical bills” I add feeling sadness overwhelming me. “oh my dear child” she says wrapping her arms around me. We stand for a few seconds before her friends comes to get her. “look send me those pictures and I will do my best to help you” she smiles as she touches my arm one last time. I stand for a moment just taking in that fact I’ve been helping a millionaire and I didn’t even know it. The Jeffries family will never know what they did for me and my sister. Lena would be smiling down at me from heaven for sure. I make my way home feeling like I’m on cloud nine, but even that feeling couldn’t last, the heavens open and down comes the rain. As soon as I enter work Mick is on my case. “Demi do this” or “Demi do that”, I swear he hates me, but then I think he hates everyone. I think of lady Jeffries all evening letting my imagination take me to exotic places, places I could only dream of going, and finding a love so deep it could not be broken. When I get home I upload my sisters wedding pictures onto an old memory stick and send them to lady Jeffries, I know it’s late but I’m so excited for her to see what I can do. It’s not until the morning when I check my inbox, I see she has replied and commented on what a wonderful job I had done, this makes me beam on the inside. she tells me she will pass around my work and see what she can do, but to not expect miracles overnight. I go to work feeling lighter than air, I’ve never liked my 12 hour shift but today I have a feeling nothing is going to bring me down. “Closing” I yell at Helen as she stands with her hands on her hips, “what do you mean closing” I ask leaning against the silver counter top. “Mick and I are selling up and moving on” Helen hands me my up to date cheque and shrugs her shoulders. “That’s just perfect” I say grabbing the envelope from her and walking out. Now I have to find a new job and quick. I spend the next few days applying for Various positions, but with no success, to meny people wanting to do the same job. I have two weeks until the rent is due and then I will be out on the streets. I pick up a picture of my sister and me, we looked so happy, so young and carefree, she looked beautiful and in good health. I get and interview for a Delhi down town, its in a busy plaza where people come through to grab coffee on their way to work. The building next door is owned by Peter Jeffries, they own several consulting companies, they specialise in new businesses that are just starting up, as well as a handful of food and beverage suppliers, their charity work outshines everything else. I am asked to come in for a trial run at the Delhi the very next morning, which is amazing because I know at least five other people went for this job. I turn up at five thirty the next day full of enthusiasm, I’m given an apron and told to put my hair up. The shop is already filling with people all demanding different types of coffee, I hear at least two calls for Macchiato with extra foam, three calls for Mocha with half fat cream, and a dozen flat whites, all in the space of thirty minutes, there are bagels and breads, salads and muffins, it makes my head spin. “Two salmon and cream cheese bagels please” I look up to see a very handsome man looking at his watch before looking back at his news paper. “And one black coffee to go” he is very handsome indeed. I bag his bagels and hand him his coffee before he walks to the end of the counter to pay for his things, he didn’t even look up at me once. After the morning rush has died down I’m asked to see the manger Ross, he is a tall thin man with bright red hair and buck teeth. “Thank you for coming in this morning Demi” he says telling me to have a seat. “How do you think you did” he asks looking at me intently, he gives me the creeps. “Ok i think” i say feeling very timid all of a sudden. “Well as you know, we have had a lot of people apply for this position and I have to choose wisely, so what makes you perfect for this job” he leans his hands on the desk and leans forward. “Well I need this job, I need to pay the rent and well I need to eat” I smile thinking maybe I should have said something else. “I see” he smiles, not a genuine smile, but a I do not have time for pity smile. He didn’t like my answer, he is not impressed. “Well I will be in touch” he stands and so do I. He holds out his arm as if to show me the door. “s**t, s**t, s**t” I kick the wall as I leave by the back alley from the Delhi, now what the hell am I going to do. I walk home feeling deflated, this was one of my last hopes, and I blew it. Maybe Lady Jeffries will come good and offer me some work, or maybe I should reach out to her and ask for help, no I won’t do that, it would make me look desperate, I still have one week before the rent is due, I must not panic yet. Ross calls me the next day and tells me I did not get the job, he thanks me for coming in to which I say thank you for giving me the chance, after all he got three hours of work from me for free, now all I have left is worry and dread.