Hound

21

I wake up to her leaving.

“Where are you going?” I ask groggily, glancing at the clock.

“Work," she clips.

I frown. “Didn't you do that yesterday?”

“Yes," She rolls her brown eyes, “Typically, work is a regular thing. We can't all make fiscally sound choices that lead to early retirement."

I blink at her.

“What?”

“We can't all be bums with money like you. Besides, this is my other work.”

Oh, the whole Red Queen bit. I guess with the transfer of power she will be busier huh?

I don't like that.

“Oh, well...have a minion,” I say lamely, grabbing my phone.

“I have my own minions," She snaps.

“Yeah but mine are on call.”

“Aren't all minons on call?”

I shake my head adamantly, because that's a common mistake.

“No. See, if you go through the union, they have set hours. If you contract, they can be on call. They are also required to dance for your amusement whenever you say.”

She narrows her eyes. “Why would I need that?"

I shrug. “It's fun. You should try sometime. In fact, let me call Kevin, he does a funny chicken dance, it's f*****g hilarious—”

“Just stop okay? Stop trying to keep me here.”

I sigh, nodding. “Okay. Have a good day at work.”

She nods slowly walking out. I go back to sleep, having nothing else to do.

• • •

She comes in hours later, with a heavy sigh. I rush toward her, taking off her shoes, helping her to the chair, getting her a drink.

“Rough day?” I ask.

She nods, sipping the wine.

I sit at her feet, rubbing them, as she sighs.

“What's wrong?” I ask lowly.

“Just some disputes between my workers and i.”

“Are they disobeying you?” I inquire. “Do you want me to kill them for you?”

She opens her eyes. “No. It's okay.”

I kiss her feet. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? What will put a smile on your face?”

She clenches her jaw. “Honestly? If you give me a little f*****g space.” She lights up, shrugging me off, “I liked it better when you see just a booty call.”

I smile. “I know. I'm sorry.” I stand, giving her the space she asked for.

“Don't f*****g apologize,” She huffs. “Just...can you go? Can I get a second alone?”

Ah. It's that type of day. Okay. I nod slowly.

“Yeah, of course.”

I shrug some random clothes laying around. “I'll go out—”

“I don't need a f*****g play by play, okay? Just go!”

I sigh, grabbing my keys. I open my mouth, but at her irritated look I close it, silently walking out.

I signed up for this. The coldness. It's okay. I love her and I want her to stay.

Even if she... doesn't care for me like I do. It's okay.

I wheel out of the driveway, just driving, putting space between us cause that's what she wants.

I glance at the paperwork in the front seat. I never filed it. I could...I could just let her go. I could just set her free, move on. Go live in another province.

I know she wouldn't mind. That's probably what she wants. I could stop this. I know she's gonna hurt me. I know that. I can stop it. I can leave. And hurt for a little while, and move on.

Or I can stay, and let her tear me up.

So what? What do I do? I fought for this, to have her. But I guess I made the choice. K do that a lot.

I was so ready to sacrifice my happiness. I thought I could her happy, at the very least, give her anything she wanted, everything she wanted.

But she doesn't want me. And I knew that.

So what now. I could just...keep driving. Far away from her numb heart, that has no space for me.

She'd give up after tonight.

Why do I do this? Why do I do this to myself? Am I so pathetic that I can't let go of someone who so obviously doesn't care about me.

She doesn't care about you, Hound.

So what? What now?

I'm not going to find love with her. I can love her to death, but the only person who's gonna die is me.

So... what now?

Now...I think I keep driving. This has nothing do with today. This is just the truth. That I kept running from.

The simple truth that people do not change. She didn't want me to begin with and there's nothing I can do to change that.

I'm never gonna be what she wants.

I knew that. She told me so. So I keep driving. Keep driving away from her numb hurt, and toward my own.