Death was my new beginning

Mina Heartfelt

After a bit of examination from the Doctor, he concluded that the shock from the accident was so severe that as a coping mechanism, I blocked the memory of that event, but in the process, I blocked all of them. 

My father asked if I would get them back, but the Doctor couldn't give him a straight answer.

"The brain is very fragile and complex. She could get her memories back tomorrow, a month from now, or maybe never."

The staff gasped once again. My brothers looked at each other, but I don't think they were worried about my situation; instead, they were concerned about how my situation would affect their lives. 

"What I suggest is that you try to take her to places she enjoyed going to before this incident, as well as giving her her favorite foods and talking to her about fond memories you've shared together. The smallest thing could jog her memory. But you must be prepared in case her memories never return."

"I see," my father said. 

Ha! I wanted to laugh. Fond memories? I saw how everyone's faces turned white as sheets, and they couldn't hide their nervousness. None of them have fond memories with me, and now the thought of having them explain to me, an amnesiac, how much they loathe me and make fun of me is definitely making them feel awkward. 

As the two adults continued talking, a strand of my hair fell forward, and I took it in my hands and just stared at it. I had really turned into a little girl with a completely different appearance. I suddenly felt an itch on my thighs, and I put my hands under the blankets to scratch them, but to my surprise, rather than feeling baby soft skin like how a kid's skin is supposed to feel, I felt scratch marks.

I took the covers off me and pulled my nightgown up to my thighs, which surprised everyone in the room. 

"Mina!" father shouted. 

Everyone was about to look away when I asked, "Were these caused by the accident as well?" Everyone widened their eyes when they saw the various scratch marks and scars on my thighs. Even me. How can a small child have these many scars?

I knew these scars weren't caused by the accident. It was apparent that many of them were old, but some looked relatively new. I came up with some theories as to what might have happened. 

My family hurt me, but by their expressions, they seemed to have had no idea.I self-harmed, but as a noble lady with maids, they must have noticed and told my family. People from the staff hurt me. No one likes me in this house. I could guess that they took their frustrations out on me and knew that I wouldn't tell my father because he didn't care about me, to begin with. One thing is for certain, someone or multiple people in this house were hurting me. 

I noticed how my father's face remained expressionless, but he clenched his hands. He turned away from me to look at the staff; they all tensed up in fear. I wonder what kind of expression he was showing them. 

"All of you back to your posts and prepare for questioning," father yelled. Everyone started to leave, but he suddenly called out to the three maids that greeted me this morning, "You three; stop right there!"

The three maids stopped, bowed to my father, and remained with their heads down. I could see how they trembled. It was a pleasant sight, seeing the people that were bullying me in utter fear.

"You three are the ones under most suspicion, so you will be escorted to the interrogation room this instant," he said. The maid's faces turned white as he called for the guards. 

Two men in armor suddenly came into the room. They grabbed the three maids and escorted them out the room, quite forcefully, I might add.

My father looked at me for a few seconds. I thought he would say something, but he quickly looked at the Doctor, "How old are those scars?" 

The Doctor examined my thighs and said, "Some seem to date back, maybe years, and some seem relatively new, at least a week old. But some holy magic should make her good as new."

Father looked at my scarred legs, then he looked directly at my face. He had an expression I couldn't quite put my finger on. It looked like he wanted to tell me something but looked at my brothers instead; "You two stay here with your sister," he said. Then he turned back to the Doctor and excused himself. 

Once father left, Fredrick looked at me angrily and asked, "Why didn't you tell us anything, i***t?!" quite loudly. 

Benjamin crossed his arms. He nodded and said, "You should have said something. That was very irresponsible and childish of you."

The Doctor looked at them with an awkward smile. He raised his hand slightly as if he wanted to say something but wasn't sure if it was proper for him to say it.

"Young masters, the girl is in a fragile state. You might put her in an uncomfortable position, as she could feel that she is being scolded by complete strangers," the Doctor said, "Please keep in mind that she doesn't know who you are."

Although the Doctor was defending me as a patient, he was definitely biased towards me as a person. Rather than calling me lady, miss, or little madame, he just called me girl. It was obvious it had to do with my title as an illegitimate child. Not many people would notice, but I did. 

I've read webnovels and seen movies where the illegitimate child is always reminded that they aren't wanted and are inferior, but I always thought they overdramatized it. I never thought it was actually real.

Poor Mina, she must have been wallowing in self-pity with everyone hating her and having no one on her side. It's not her fault that the Count decided to bang someone who wasn't his wife and get pregnant. 

This made me angry, and the fact that these boys were scolding a little girl suffering from amnesia made my mood worse.

"You tell me!" I roared. They all looked at me surprised as if this child never talked back to anyone and just took all the hate. What kind of pitiful life did this child go through? 

I didn't want to lower my voice; if I did, they wouldn't be as surprised anymore and just see me as a little girl throwing a tantrum. 

"You two are my family, right? Why didn't I tell my own family about these scars? You two seem like smart boys, so put your heads together and think!" I said, "I woke up in a world I know nothing about, surrounded by people I don't know, but I've seen enough to know why I wouldn't tell you!" 

It seems my words got to them because they avoided my eyes and slightly moved their heads down. It felt good yelling at them. Although I'm not really Mina, I feel like I defended her somehow.

The brothers and the Doctor were speechless. Since I'm not good with confrontation, if they answer back, I won't have any comebacks to defend myself with so, it'd be best if they all left, and that way, I could remain the winner. 

"Leave!" I said. The three of them looked at me, confused, and none of them moved. Do I need to explain why? This is my room, but the Count told them to remain here with me, and the Doctor was looking after me. 

"Doctor, you have already examined me, and there's nothing you can do about my amnesia, so you're just wasting your time here. I'm sure you have other patients to attend to." I said, then I looked at the two brothers, "It's obvious that both of you would rather be anywhere else but here, so you are free to go."

I didn't make eye contact with them as I pointed at the door. They left without saying a word. I placed my hands over my head and sighed. This girl's life is a mess. It was kind of depressing now that I thought about it. In my past life, I was an only child with loving parents and great friends. In this one, nobody seems to love me, and I have no one on my side. It makes me sad thinking about how I left the world before my parents did. I should have told them I loved them more often. A few tears escaped my eyes, I tried to stop them, but it was impossible in the end. It was best to just let them stream down my face. 

I felt miserable knowing I was no longer Maria, the University student. Now, I was Mina Heartfelt, the daughter of a Count. Sighing in frustration, I decided it was best to sleep. Relax my mind. Maybe tomorrow I'll have a better idea of what to do. 

As I laid in bed with my eyes open and whispered, "Mina Heartfelt." Since the first time I heard it, it has felt incredibly familiar—even the name of those brothers. I thought of ignoring it and try to get some sleep, but as soon as I closed my eyes, I opened them again. I got out of bed, ignoring the pain in my torso, and ran to the mirror in worry. Could it be? 

"She had a beautiful complexion, like that of a doll's, and was even blessed by God. Her hair was the color of blood, and her eyes were a cold blue. She was a noble lady that kept to herself, but who could have guessed that evil laid behind those eyes? Mina Heartfelt; a best friend who soon became the worst enemy."

An exert of a novel flashed before my eyes, and I suddenly whispered, "My Lover's Kingdom."