The Guy Next Door

I feel like I can’t breathe. Every breath is painful like a knife stabbing me over and over again in my heart and lungs as I witness the scene in front of me. 16 hours before.. The morning was like every normal shared morning Lucas would be downstairs making breakfast as I quickly showered and got dressed. I quickly blow dried my hair as I went through the shoots before giving them my approval. Heading downstairs I clasp on the last of jewellery before sitting down at the table where Lucas had laid out bacon and eggs and coffee. “I will there in half an hour bye” Lucas dismisses as he enters the room to join me for breakfast. “What time will you be home tonight since you and lira will be doing reviewing today?” Lucas asks as he shovels down his eggs. “I’m if I’m lucky 4pm” I smile as we continue eating. Breakfast is usually the same old same old, I would like to say it’s routine for us as we have both been rather busy with work commitments. After a little more small talk Lucas is rushing off spewing excuses for his urgency. Lucas works in finance… something I know jack all about. As soon as I’m done cleaning up after breakfast I’m out the door catching an uber to the office space… I’m putting that lightly it’s more of a large shed majority of the space is my stock for my brand, there is a sectioned off part for our photo shoots which look likes a large white opened box. And to the back right is a little office with a joint meeting room. I waved to our other coworkers Judy, Lauren and Jameson as I scurry into our shared office hoping to see the angel herself Lira my best friend from kindergarten. Lira, Lucas and I all used to live in Australia, Lira and I being born there and Lucas from America here with their parents on a work visa. When we were 17 Lucas and I started dating Lira wasn’t much a Lucas fan but supported us cause she seen he made me happy. When Lucas was 20 we moved back with his family to Houston, Texas. At first it was hard being away from my best friend until four years ago when we started our own business and Lira flew over. For a few months Lira camped with us in our unit before finding her own place and partner Jameson (who yes is our social media manager). A few months later Lucas proposed and we had been engaged since. “ANA??” Lira shouts. “Hey what’s up?” I reply earning me a weird face from Lira. “What’s up? What’s up with you? You were off with the fairies? Do you have the final shoots?” She fires off “Nothing, nowhere and yes approved” I reply with a giggle, Lira shakes her head with a smile as we work through our work day. Our normal work day usually consists of design drafting, editing, modelling, order reviews etc. “Alright I’m off, if I make it home early I can cook Lucas a nice surprise” I say winking to Lira as she also excitedly skips off to lock up early letting everyone know they can leave for the day. At a record speed I make it home before 2, 2 and a half hours early than supposed. I quietly enter the home making little noise as I slip off my heels to put them on the shoe rack by the door. *Thud* I freeze at the jolt of unwelcome noise. *thud* There it is again.. I continue quietly arranging my items on the shelf before sneaking down the hall towards the systematic thumping. My hands shake as I approach our bedroom door by then I already know I’m not getting ransacked in only our room. I take a big breath before secretly opening the door. “Mmm oh yea you feel so f*****g good riding my big c**k like that baby”.. ‘If you had one’ I thought to myself. And there she was the “coworker you never have to worry about” riding my fiancés p***s in our bed we have shared together for x amount of years. I cover up my heartbreak disguising it with disgust, the closest thing to my hand right now is this photo frame of us. I grab it and launch it at the wall behind the bed and race to our walk in robe locking the doors quickly so I can pack my s**t and be out of this place. I methodically pack my belongings into my travel suitcases leaving anything my now cheating ex has given me. The closet doors are close to being splintered off the hinges as Lucas bangs on the doors begging for forgiveness. A word I will never give him. I swing the doors open as he face plants the floor before my feet. “How long?” I urge “Baby please it meant nothing to me” he spits “How long?” I repeat. Lucas drops his head low defeated. “1 year” “1 year and you say it never meant nothing” I shake my head. 1 year? And I never noticed? Feeling depleted I leave the bedroom with the last of my stuff forcing my feet to move to my car parked in my garage, forcing my ears not to listen to his reasons forcing my heart not to break until we are safe. I numbly drive to the closest hotel to work and book into a room. Once inside my room I wait until the lock has clicked and a bath is full before I undress and slip into the tub. As I soak into the tub all my emotions finally break free. I cry for the loss of my fiancé, my boyfriend, my best friend and I cry for our unborn child. A year ago today we had lost our baby girl at 32 weeks due to complications of the umbilical cord being wrapped around her little neck causing her to suffocate. While I was recovering from our loss by myself in the hospital he had been f*****g her in his office pretending to be working late.. no wonder why it hit him hard. He chose her over us and he felt guilty for it. Getting out of the tub I mentally toughened up chanting that I can get through this. I sent a quick update to my family and best friend before turning my phone off. Forcing myself once again to get my s**t together, thankfully we hadn’t signed off on that house. So I decided first thing in the morning I am cancelling my plans on buying a house with that no good ex of mine. That night I dozed off researching places to buy. Hoping tomorrow will be lighter.