What It Means To Be Free

Chapter 8

"Thank you for that wonderful question. A-as to answer your question, If you were granted one wish, what would you wish for? To be h-honest this is quite a tough question for me to answer since I don't think I have anything to wish for....." Bumuntong hininga si Talia siguro dala na rin ng kabang nararamdaman niya habang nakatingin sa sahig.

"But come to think of it, everyone has their own wishes. And I were to be granted one wish I would wish for peace. Peace in mind and heart for the world to possess." Iniangat ni Talia ang tingin niya at tumingin sa paligid na tahimik na nakikinig sa kaniya.

"Being quiet and alone doesn't mean you're at peace. You may look fine but your mind is in loud rowdy chaos while your heart is in vain. Inner noise is louder than what we can hear and painful than the external pain we could feel. That's all thank you." Sabi niya bago yumuko at inilagay ang hawak na mikropono sa mic stand na nasa harap niya.

I just looked at Talia as she walked back beside the other candidates.

Hindi ko alam pero this past few days, people have been saying things that makes me think twice for my decisions. Hindi madaling pumili at magdesisyon lalo na't hindi naman natin alam ang mga posibleng kalalabasan ng mga desisyon natin.

There's no pre-written guarantees and warning signs that could help us determine which would be the right choices. Balang araw pupunta rin tayo sa punto na iisa lang ang pipiliin. Hindi pwedeng dalawa, hindi pwedeng wala. Our mind will always be in constant chaos when it's time for us to choose. Hindi naman kasi madaling pumili lalo na't walang kasiguraduhan.

"Nakakaproud naman 'tong anak ko! Ampon ko 'ya—" Agad ko namang tinakpan ang bibig ni Adie bago pa siya sumigaw gamit ang kamay ko.

"Oo na, proud ka ng gaga ka!" Pasigaw na bulong ko sa kaniya na ikinatawa naman din naming dalawa.

Talia was the last to be questioned on girls then after that an intermission number was held by some of the choir members, including Adie. Pagkatapos ng isang kanta ay ang banda naman nila Jace ang pumalit.

Adie invited me to accompany her to the Comfort Room when she went back. Medyo nahirapan pa kaming dumaan papunta sa likod dahil sa harap ang pwesto namin at halos magsiksikan para makita ang ganap sa entablado.

"Dito na lang ako." Sabi ko kay Adie kaya naman pumasok na siya at iniwan ako rito sa tapat ng C.R.

"Pa'no ba 'to?" Nilingon ko ang pinanggalingan ng boses at nakita si Brixz na kalalabas lang ng CR ng lalaki at naguguluhang nakatingin at inaayos ang necktie niya.

He's wearing a black suit jacket, slacks, shoes and a white long sleeve inner with his black tie hanging on his collar.

I just watched him struggling to tie his necktie as he walks back and forth with my arms crossed over my chest. Maya maya pa ay malakas siyang bumuntong hininga bago pumameywang at ginulo ang buhok.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Akin nga." Nagangat siya ng tingin habang hawak hawak ang necktie na nakasabit sa leeg niya.

He glanced at me. "Marunong ka?" He asked as he walked closer to me.

"Of course." I smugly smiled and reached for his tie.

I can feel his warm breath fanning my forehead and his eyes burning me but I didn't mind him and swiftly tied his neck tie. I was about to adjust its tightness when Brixz held my hand by pulling the skinnier part of the tie and pushing the knot upwards.

"Oo na, marunong ka nga, t-tama na, awat na." Nauubong sabi niya bago hinawi ang mga kamay kong nakahawak sa necktie niya.

Napahigpit....ata?

I grinned. "Hindi eh. Maluwag pa ata." Nanunuyang sabi ko habang may mapaglarong ngiti sa labi.

Suddenly, the door of the girl's comfort room opened and revealed Adie. Inimbitahan niya akong bumalik sa pwesto namin pagkatapos niya ako patagong asar asarin kay Brixz kaya naman pagkaupo namin ay hindi na maipinta ang mukha ko dahil naagawan kami ng pwesto sa harap at dahil na rin sa pangaasar ni Adie kanina.

Lakas makapangasar eh.

"Is life easier for women or men? Life isn't easy for us individuals, may it be men or women. We all have different levels of limits. Everyday, we all face different challenges and problems. We only need to look for the light that will brighten our darkest times, our propellants to move forward, and our inspirations as our defense." Brixz answered.

His answer was short but the whole message was there, he was on point straightforward. Walang paligoy ligoy.

Another intermission number took place before the announcement of winners. Medyo magulo na rin ang pila ng bawat grade level at section dahil halos magkagulo na kanina sa talent portion. People now are more settled than earlier, especially because we are all anticipating the announcement of winners.

Minuto ang lumipas nang muling lumabas ang mga contestants para sa anunsyo ng mananalo. Few awards are given for most of the contestants such as most photogenic, best sports wear, national costume and more. Nakakadalawang award na si Talia habang si Brixz naman ay apat.

Natawag na ang 3rd and 2nd runner up for boys and girls kaya naman kung sino ang matatawag ay siya raw ang 1st runner up habang ang hindi naman natawag ang nanalo.

Kasama kami ni Adie sa mga nakipagunahan at nakipagsiksikan sa harap para masilip ang nangyayari sa harapan. It's hot and crowded but is still bearable.

"Jadie! Natawag si Talia! Tayo nanalo diba? Wooh! Congrats!" Tuwang tuwang sabi ni Adie habang iwinawagayway ang banner na gawa namin.

"Huy, anong nanalo? Diba nga tatawagin yung 1st runner up?"

"Oo nga. Nanalo pa rin naman si Talia ah? Besides, ginawa naman niya yung best niya at iyon ang dapat nating ika congratulate sa kaniya." Napatango tango naman ako sa sinabi niya at nakuha ang nais niyang iparating.

Besides, Talia's place wasn't that bad. She did her best and that's something to be proud of. At least she tried right? Hindi naman porke hindi nanalo ay hindi na ginalingan. Trying is already an achievement, at least you know for yourself that you gave your all, at least you know you failed knowing that you tried rather than never really taking the risk. That's something that you'll regret.

Sumunod namang in-announce ang 1st runner up sa boys. I was only watching amongst the audience but I admit that I was also feeling nervous as I anticipated the winner. Palipat lipat ang tingin ko sa host at kay Brixz na nakatayo sa stage. I don’t know why I was hoping for Brixz to win, not just because he’s my classmate but because I was worried about how he would react if he loses.

Nang hindi nabanggit ang pangalan ni Brixz ay napatigil ako.

“Teh, gumalaw ka na. Nanalo na.” I snapped back to reality and sighed. Oo nga pala, ang hindi mababanggit ay siyang panalo.

Before I realised it, I was already smiling like I was the one who won as I watched Brixz take pictures with the other candidates with a crown on his head and a wide grin on his lips.

Mabilis ang paglipas ng araw at sa kabila ng bawat pagsubok sa bawat araw, nakakaya namin at kinakaya namin. Everyday is a challenge but I know at the end of the day this obstacles shape us into a better person.

Ilang araw at linggo na ang nakalipas matapos ng paligsahan. Time flew so fast that everything seemed to flash in my eyes. This week is already our completion week for the last quarter.

Kilala si Brixz dito sa school namin bilang estudyanteng napapatropa at kung ano anong kalokohan ang ginagawa kahit pa magaling din naman siya sa klase. But winning the contest showed another side of Brixz. He showed everyone that there's more to him than what they can see. More than what I can see.

Maloko si Brixz, makulit at maingay pero alam niya kung kailan dapat magbiro at hindi. He takes things earnestly especially if it's something to be taken seriously. Each day I started to notice how Brixz tries to be a good model student lalo na't nakilala siya bilang nanalo sa contest namin.

He's not that bad after all.

"Ay nako! Sinasabi ko talaga sayo ghorl! Crush ka niyan!" Malakas na sabi ni Adie sa tabi ko na ikinapikit ko. Talia noticed it and shook her head from left and right with a small smile written on her lips.

I scoffed at her statement. "Crush." Hindi makapaniwalang sabi ko.

"Ay nako tigil tigilan mo na 'yang si Jadie, Adie." Talia said which made me sigh in relief. Finally nagsalita na rin. "Look at her face, Jadie doesn't deserve Brixz." Dugtong niya na ikinakunot muli ng noo ko.

"Hindi ba parang baliktad?" Tanong ko.

"Oh, yeah." Manghang sabi ni Talia na alam ko namang hindi totoo dahilan para mapasimangot ako. Pa'no ba napunta rito ang usapan namin?

"Ay! Uy! Tara na! Time na!" Sabi ni Adie kaya naman tumayo na kami mula sa mga inuupuan namin at isinama sa amin ang mga pinagkainan.

We threw our trash and went to our room. Nauna na si Adie sa room nila since tabi lang naman ng canteen namin ang room nila.

"Guys! Sa bababa raw tayo sabi raw ni Miss Yvonne." Sabi ni Nyx nang mapansing nasa loob na ang lahat.

Naglabasan kaming lahat at pumila sa labas bago isinara ni Nyx ang pinto ng room namin. We waited for Miss Navia once we reached the ground floor since our class adviser couldn’t make it. Nang dumating naman si Miss Navia ay binilinan muna niya kami kung anong gagawin namin ngayon bago kami iniwan dahil may aasikasuhin pa raw sila ng iba pang advisory teachers ng Grade 10. She's Adie's adviser.

"Ano sa'n tayo mamaya? Pwede naman daw magfilm sa labas ng school diba?" Tanong ni Nyx habang nakasandal sa dingding at nakaupo sa sahig na katabi ni Brixz.

"Di pwede sa'min eh."

"Wala kaming space."

Sagot ng iba sa mga kaklase namin. Ang iba naman sa kanila ay nakaupo lang din malapit sa amin pero hindi naman nakikinig at patago pang naglalaro sa mga cellphone nila.

"Sa'min. Pwede sa'min. Ano bang gagawin?" Sabi ni Talia dahilan para makuha niya ang atensyon namin. Minsan lang kasi magsalita si Talia sa mga ganito kaya paniguradong nagulat ang iba.

"Wala namang sinabi si Miss Navia na hindi pwedeng magfilm sa labas ng school diba? Sa inyo sana natin i-fifilm yung scene nila Brixz? Hindi naman siguro magagalit parents mo, Talia?" Maingat na tanong ni Nyx kay Talia dahil hindi naman sila laging nagkakausap maliban na lamang kung importante ang pagusapan. Hindi naman kasi sila close.

"No, hindi naman." Sagot ni Talia at ngumiti ng tipid.

We planned the scenes we're going to film today and tomorrow at Talia's house. Biyernes bukas at bilang lamang ang sasama sa bahay nila Talia. Nakakahiya naman kasi kung lahat kami sasama. 43 kaya kaming lahat sa section namin!

And since their house is only a few walks from ours it really is not a problem for me. Sure naman akong papayag si Mommy kapag magpapaalam ako dahil malapit lang naman ang bahay nila Talia sa amin. Parang family friends na rin ang turing namin sa isa't isa.

Kami nila Talia, Dark, Adie at Sorin. The 5 of us may not be together in one place but we still hear news about them from our mothers.

"Oh, andito ka na agad? Bilis mo naman." Sabi nila Amara nang maabutan nila ako rito sa salas nila Talia na kumakain ng sandwich.

Kasama ni Amara sila Nyx, Kyro, Aidan at Nyx dala dala ang iba sa mga props namin na gagamitin namin ngayon sa scenes namin na i-fifilm namin.

I'm already wearing my costume for my part of the scene which is red loose silk spaghetti strap top and a black high waisted shorts. Dala dala ko pa nga ang puting skirt ko na aabot hanggang sa tuhod ko pati na rin ang denim jacket ko kung sakaling maabutan ako ni Mommy pagkauwi ko.

Nasa school pa naman si Mommy at nauna na akong umuwi para pumunta ako rito. Alam naman ni Mommy dahil nakapagpaalam na ako kahapon. Wala si Daddy sa bahay at nasa opisina. Mom doesn't approve of the idea of wearing showy outfits.

Hindi siya komportable sa ideyang pagsusuot ng mga damit na nauuso sa iba ngayon tulad ng crop top, ripped jeans, shorts and plaid skirts na above the knee lalo na kung isinusuot panlabas. My Mom is conservative while my Dad just lets me wear anything I want and is comfortable with but still uncomfortable with the idea of wearing skirts thinking that some people might take advantage of that clothing style.

There's this one time when we went shopping. Nakasunod si Daddy sa amin habang naglilibot kami ni Mommy. Mom was looking for dresses for me to wear when I pointed out a dress that was too exposing.

"Dy, payag ka bang suotin ko 'to?" Tanong ko hawak hawak ang maikling dress. Me and my Dad doesn't really talk to each other that much but still.

"Komportable ka bang suotin 'yan?" Balik tanong niya sa akin na ikinailing ko naman.

"See? Kung hindi ka naman komportableng suotin bakit mo pa susuotin? As long as you're fine and comfortable with it then fine, wear it." Sabi ni Daddy at saka ipinatong ang kamay sa ulo ko habang nakangiti dahilan para mapangiti rin ako nang makaramdam ng init na bumalot sa puso ko.

Minsan lang kami magusap ni Daddy pero sa tuwing naguusap kami ay hindi ko maiwasang hindi mapamangha sa mga sagot na ibinibigay niya sa akin. I'm not that close to my father but I do love him, he's still my father and I'm thankful that he is.

"Ang tagal niyo eh." Sabi ko na lang sabay sabit ng denim jacket ko sa magkabilang balikat ko.

I stood up with my plate of sandwich at hand. "Tawagin ko lang si Talia." Sabi ko bago sila tinalikuran.

I was about to leave when I forgot to bring my manners with me.

"Upo kayo." I told them before I picked up my glass of orange juice and took a sip from it.

Iniwan ko na sila roon para iligpit ang pinagkainan ko pagkatapos ay tawagin si Talia na nag aayos pa rin sa guest's room na gagamitin namin.

I went upstairs to look for Talia's room. Madalas kami ni Adie rito dahil madalas ay dito kami nagkikita ng mga magulang namin. We often go to family outings together with Adie's family, my family, Talia's, Dark's, and Sorin's.

"Tapos na? Andito na sila. Sa'n tayo?" Sabay sabay na sabi ko sa kaniya nang maabutan siyang kalalabas lamang ng kwarto niya.

"Iniwan mo?" She spat. Ay galit?

"Hindi ah." Sabi ko na lang at sumunod sa kaniya ng magsimula siyang bumaba.

Talia's parents are not around while her twin is probably inside his room. Dalawa ang kapatid ni Talia. She has an older brother and a twin.

Nagplano muna kami ng mga gagawin sa salas nila Talia bago kami pumunta sa guest room na hinanda niya.

"Talia, may make up ka?" Tanong ni Amara na nakaupo sa single sofa sa tabi ng pinto nang makapasok kami sa loob.

The room's color pattern is brown, beige and white. The room contains a single seater sofa beside the door, a wooden cabinet placed right beside the sofa and the king sized bed in the middle of the room with wooden white bedside tables on each side.

"Oh, I don't wear make ups." Sagot ni Talia at nahihiyang ngumiti. Right, she doesn't even need one. She looks like those fairies.

Nyx told me to wear a lipstick to suit my character. May dala naman siya kaya iyon na ang ginamit ko. It's a matte lipstick. Power Red.

Humiga ako sa higaan na nasa gitna nang maipahid ang lipstick sa bibig at gold hoop earrings na hindi kalakihan. I also removed my white skirt to show off my black high waisted denim shorts.

"Game? Brixz game na." Nakangiting sabi ni Kyro kay Brixz na nakaluhod sa kanang gilid ko rito sa kama.

My gosh! Bilisan niyo!

This is a project for 4 subjects. AP, Filipino, Music and Arts. Our task is to choose an OPM song that is connected to our AP topics, one of our topics this last quarter is Isyung Panlipunan and translate the lyrics to Filipino then make our own music video as our class project.

Gaganap ako bilang isang babae na nagtatrabaho bilang isang bayaran na binayarang aliwin ang karakter ni Brixz. Bakit ba kasi kami pa?

Baka masipa ko lang si Brixz sa gagawin namin!