Happiness Is A Choice

Choices in the Rain

"I doubt if I'll pass on Algebra," Patty muttered in a very disappointed voice as she drinks her soda.

"Me too." Lacey frowned and bite at the burger.

Sports Competition week was followed by exam week. Tanch and her friends were eating at a fast-food near their school. Sarah's not there. Trying to release stress, disappointment, and covering their frowns by intaking too many fats, sugar, and calories.

"How about you Tanch? How's the exam?"

Tanch didn't even hear what Patty, her friend asked. She's busy playing the straw on her float.

Aria, sitting beside her slightly tapped her on her shoulders and called her by her name.

"Tanch."

"Oh? What is it again?"

The three exchanged looks figuring that something's wrong with her.

"What's going on in your mind?"

"N-nothing special guys. I-'m just tired."

Tanch took fries and dipped it on her float then munch it.

The three decided to just shrug it off. Not believing her reason but decided to let it pass for now.

"Why Sarah didn't come here with us?"

Tanch blushed at the mention of Sarah's name.

She suddenly remembers what Sarah ask her last week before her phone rings.

"Do you want me to make you love me?"

She slightly lowers her head and took more pieces of fries to cover up her blushing cheeks.

It's been a week since she asked me that and I don't have an answer yet. Wait -- what the hell. I mean -- It's been a week since she asked me that and yet I still get these weird tingly feeling on my stomach. After that day she didn't even act awkwardly. She's still sweet and always smiling at me. 

That question left Tanch awake every evening. She barely focused on reviewing and taking the actual exam. She never doubts the possibility that she'll pass her exams. And up until now Sarah never mentioned anything about her question.

I don't even know if she's serious. And what if she is? What would I do? Should I say yes? But it's not normal. I shouldn't say no -- but. I want to. But --

Tanch's thought was interrupted when suddenly Aria's phone ring. She heard Aria talking to her mom.

"Bebs, mom wants me to go home already," Aria said as soon as she hangs up the call.

"Oh, then we should go too."

The four agreed to just go home already. It's only 2:30 on Tanch's watch so she decided to stop the car and take a walk in a park on her way home.

"The sun was covered by gray clouds. It will probably rain." She talked with herself.

Children running around the park and parents yelling at their child to stop running or else they will fall on the ground and get hurt.

Why do we always get hurt when we fell?

Tanch took a sit on a wooden bench and just stared at empty space.

She didn't know what's going on in her mind. She doesn't know what to think. She doesn't know what's right to think. Her mind was a mess. She's thinking of Sarah, Sarah's question, if she would say yes if Sarah is serious about her question, why Sarah asked her that, what's her intention, did she mean it or she's just playing at her emotions?

Tanch sighed. Her mind was a mess but it's clear that Sarah's the main and only subject.

Something wet fell on her hair. At first, it was still countable then suddenly it became impossible to count. Tanch didn't even try to run unto her car. Her phone or wallet is not with her, so she thinks it's okay to let the rain attempt at clearing off her mind.

Tanch sighed again and look at the grass on her feet rejoicing at the sudden rain.

"What comes to your mind and you let yourself be soaked by the rain?"

Tanch immediately raised her head when she heard a familiar voice. She found the girl that's making her mind a mess. She's wearing that smile that never failed to make Tanch's heart beat abnormally. She's holding an umbrella with her right hand and carrying a plastic bag on her left hand.

"Sarah. What- what are you doing here?"

She raised the plastic bag she's carrying then pointed out to the direction of a convenience store.

"Bought something on my way home."

Tanch just nod and averted her gaze. She busied herself with the grass on her feet.

I couldn't look at her eyes without even thinking about her question.

Tanch felt Sarah sit beside her. Not even bothering that the bench is already wet by the rain.

Sarah folds her umbrella and lets herself be soaked by the rain too.

"What are you doing?" Tanch asked seeing Sarah's clothes starting to get wet by the rain.

"Keeping you accompany. If you decided to get sick then I'll be too. I won't leave you alone." Sarah smiled not even understanding what she's doing.

Tanch tried to get the umbrella on her hand but Sarah put it away from her.

"Sarah. Open your umbrella. You'll get sick." Tanch worriedly said while still trying to get the umbrella on Sarah's hand.

"I don't care."

"Sarah," Tanch called with irritation in her voice.

Sarah didn't let Tanch get the umbrella on her hand and Tanch just sighed on defeat and look everywhere but Sarah.

"You're avoiding me," Sarah stated the fact. You can hear the sadness and disappointment in her voice. Tanch startled at Sarah's statement.

"No. I'm not. Why would I?"

Tanch said without even looking at Sarah.

"Yes, you are. You barely look at me. And when I caught you looking at me you'll immediately shift your eyes. You're not your usual self. You didn't stare at me in class anymore. You didn't look excited when I'm around. You barely exchanged words with me. In other words, you're avoiding me."

Tanch didn't find the right words to say. Sarah's right, she's avoiding Sarah. She's avoiding Sarah not because she's mad at her. It's just, her mind was a mess. She's being weird and acting not normal, thinking not normal when Sarah's near.

"You're avoiding me ever since I asked you that question."

Tanch again didn't reply. This is the first time Sarah will talk to her about her question.

"You know Tanch, I mean it. I'm serious about that. I asked you that because that's the truth. I want you to love me like the way I do."

Tanch froze at what she heard.

I want you to love me like the way I do.

Her heart beats louder and faster than usual. Her mind was blank. She couldn't think of anything. She doesn't want to think of anything right now.

"I know it's too early. We barely know each other. But when I saw you that day, staring at me like I'm the most beautiful girl in the world, like I'm a princess even if I don't have a castle. When I saw you that day, I couldn't get you off my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about you. How you look at me, how everything I do you find it amazing, how you smiled when I smiled, how you say my name. Tanch, I know you're straight and you have a boyfriend."

Sarah bitterly chuckled on her last statement then continue speaking.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same way. I'm good at being friends with you."

Tanch followed Sarah's every movement as she stood up on her seat and stretched out her hand to give her her umbrella. Tanch unconsciously took it while looking at Sarah.

"Take care and don't get sick."

Sarah turned her back to Tanch and started walking away. Tanch stood up and run to catch up with Sarah. Without further ado. Without thinking about what she must do or what's the right thing to do she hugs her from behind and whisper, "I want to. I want to love you more, more than I am right now."

Sarah didn't speak. She breaks free from Tanch's hug and faces her. Sarah raised her hands and cupped her cheeks. She leaned closer and clear the gap between their lips.

It was so soft just like what I thought it would be.

Tanch reciprocated the kiss. Not even bothering if someone may see them. Not even thinking about the rain. Not even minding the world. It lasted for a few minutes and when their lips broke the embrace, they were catching up their breath.

Tanch held her cheeks, she looks straight from her eyes.

This is real. This is happening right now.

Tanch felt her eyes get hot. She can feel the hot liquid flowing from her eyes that were not visible due to rain.

She's crying due to overflowing happiness.

Sarah kissed her on her forehead then hugged her tightly.

"I'm more than happy Tanch. I never thought that this day will come true. Thank you. Thank you for choosing to love me."

Tanch smiled. A genuine smile. A smile that never seeks for more. A smile that symbolizes contentment. A smile that's full of love and care.

--

"Oh my God. Sweetie. What happened to the both of you?"

"Rain." Tanch awkwardly replied while trying to comb her wet hair with her fingers.

"Ow. I'm sure you two know that you're old enough to play in the rain." Tanch's mom said while her hands were on her waist.

"Yeah. Ah mom, can you save your sermons for later? It's just- We'll catch a cold if we don't take a shower now."

"Oh right, sweetie. Hurry. Shower first. You can use the shower in our room and let your friend here use the shower in your room."

Tanch just nods as a reply.

"Thank you so much Mrs. Lobete."

"Hurry. Take a shower and I'll make a hot chocolate drink for both of you."

The two just nodded and smiled then walk upstairs to take a bath.

Tanch guided Sarah into her room and give her spare clothes for her to wear then walked to her parent's room to take a bath.

Tanch raised her right hand to touch her lips. She can still felt Sarah's lips. The lingering feeling, the thud sound of her heartbeat, and the rain, she can still felt it on her skin. The words Sarah said kept replaying at her mind like a piece of music on repeat. 

Does falling in love really felt this way? Your heart doing somersaults. You're smiling just by thinking her. You're going crazy. How can love be so magical? 

As Tanch closed the door in her parent's room she heard the sound of a door closing and found Sarah in her cute pajama and plain white shirt. The two smiled at each other as their eyes meet. 

"You smell so good." 

Sarah whispered on Tanch ears as they walked downstairs that gave Tanch goose bumps. 

Tanch was about to reply when she heard her Mom's voice.

"Girls! Finally, you are done. Come on sit here. I'll just get your chocolate drink." 

Tanch's mom left the magazine she's scanning. The two sat at the long sofa having enough distance between them so Tanch's mom will not suspect a thing. 

"Here are your drinks." 

Tanch's mom held the two cups of chocolate drink to the two and they immediately took it and sipped lightly.

"Care to explain why the two of you play in the rain even if you are already old enough to pick up some boys?"

Sarah giggled at Tanch's mom. She likes Tanch's mom. 

I hope mine has the same personality.

Sarah sadly smiled but kept it out of their view.

Tanch was about to argue with her mom when her mom interrupted her. 

"Wait. First, please introduce this beautiful friend of yours sweetie." 

Tanch nods and shifted her gaze to Sarah. 

"Mom, her name is Sarah, Sarah Jane Riveria; Classmate and a very close friend."

Tanch mom's eyes twinkled as she heard the name.

"You mean the new girl in your school? The one you said who looks like a princess? The one you keep talking about after school? The-"

Tanch, in panic, put the cup into the table and put her hands on her Mom's mouth while blushing madly. 

"M-mom"

Tanch called her in a panic voice then looked at her Mom pleadingly before removing her hands.

"Oh. Sorry about that sweetie but you're right. She looks-"

"Mom" 

Tanch's mom slightly giggled at her daughter and decided to drop the topic.

"Back to my first question, so why did you play in the rain?"

"Mom we didn't play in the rain. It's just that- we're caught by the rain in the park earlier."

"Is that so Sarah?"

Sarah nodded as a response to her Tanch's mom.

"Okay but please don't be caught again by the rain next time. I'll just prepare for dinner. Sarah, please feel at home."

"Thank you again Mrs. Las."

"Aunty is more than enough. Refrain from calling me Mrs. Las. I feel like I'm an old lady."

"Mom you are."

"Shut up Tanch." 

Tanch's mom stood up and leave the two in the living room giggling at each other.

Later, Sarah met Tanch's dad who is as kind and cool as Tanch's mom.

Sarah can't stop the insecurities building upon her. She can't stop herself wishing she too has a very good relationship with her parents or even if at least felt a little bit of their love. 

Sarah sighed as she sits at the Tanch's bed looking at the floor.

"Hey what's with the sigh?"

Tanch questioned as she closes the door of the bathroom in her room. 

Sarah immediately wipes the sad look on her face and smiled sweetly at the girl of her dreams.

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

Tanch sat the opposite of the bed and look at Sarah, just staring.

Sarah took this as a signal as she scooted closer to the girl and wrapped her hands on her waist. She put her chin on her shoulder and inhaled her scent.

"You really smelled so good, love."

"L-love?"

"You don't want it?" Sarah broke the embrace and look deeply into her eyes. 

"N-no. I love it. I-it sounds sweet, love."

Sarah smiled, the sweetest then leaned closer to her lips. 

"Can I?"

Tanch nod and try to wipe her nervousness as she gulped twice consecutively.

Tanch felt again the soft floppy lips moved slowly with hers. It was passionate and sweet. It was full of feelings. It was the best thing she could wish for. 

"Let's sleep." 

Sarah said as they parted, catching up their breaths.