Happiness Is A Choice

Break-up

Tanch

Finally! It's Monday and the sports camp was over. Athletes will come back to school today. This is my chance now to talk to James. I'll break up with him and be with Sarah forever. 

I tucked the loose hair that's falling on my face as I smile just by thinking about it. I drag my feet to my room when I heard Lacey called my name. I looked back and saw her jogging in big steps to catch up to me. 

Lacey hold her chest and took big breaths. 

"I've been calling your name a hundred times already. What are you deaf? Or just daydreaming about Sarah even at this hour?"

"Sad but none of the choices Lacey. I'm just thinking about something."

"And what's that something?"

Lacey finally caught normal breathing and we continue walking to our respective rooms at a slow pace. 

"I plan to break up with him today."

"I love the idea. Update me about the results."

I just nodded at her.

I'm nervous. I hope everything will turn out according to plan and James will just let go of me easily. It's not like he has feelings for me. We're just sticking up together because he loves to be with someone famous and beautiful and me, I just let him be my boyfriend since it's not a bother for me back then. But today, I have someone special in my heart. I have someone I want to love with all my heart. Also, I'm tired of him claiming me as his'. Not because he's my boyfriend, he can just claim me. I don't want anyone else to claim me as their's, I want to be claimed by Sarah only. May heaven answered my prayers.

--

Classes were done. I was walking on my way to the gymnasium where James may be staying. Sarah has already left school and I said I'll stay for an hour 'cause I need to take care of something. Sarah didn't know about this. I didn't tell her that I'm breaking up with James today and tomorrow I'll be her's only. I planned to surprise Sarah.

I walked inside the gymnasium and spotted James on a bleacher, drinking water. Lacey was right. James is handsome but I never felt something different from him. I don't even have an inch of interest on him, never did. For me, he's just an ordinary guy. 

After hearing what he did to Sarah, I really want to take revenge on him but if I did that, Sarah won't love the idea and she won't fully move on about that past. So, I'll just break up him, that's all I can do.

"James."

"Oh, babe. It's new, you coming here for me." 

James said and smirked at me. 

"Can we talk for a moment?"

"But we're talking now talking at the moment."

"I mean privately."

I looked around seeing his teammates were looking at us and trying to figure out what we're talking about. 

"Can't it wait? We're practicing."

Geez.

"Fine. Let's have dinner tonight."

"Wow, you're now inviting me to a date with you. This is new. Are you now developing feelings for me?"

What the hell is wrong with this guy? He's so full of confidence. He's starting to get on my nerves.

"Don't get your hopes so high James that will never happen."

"Aw. That hurts babe."

I just rolled my eyes in irritation and continued with my proposal. 

"Just meet me at the usual place at 7:00 pm."

"Okay, babe." 

I bid my goodbye to him and walked to the parking lot. 

I need to build my courage tonight. I got this feeling that he's toying up with me. I got this feeling that tonight will be worse.

--

Tanch clasped her hand due to nervousness. Her hands were getting sweaty. Her heart was beating so fast as if it would burst due to nervousness. The place was airconditioned but little beads of sweat are forming on her forehead.

"Is that all Ma'am? Sir?"

"Yes." 

"Okay Ma'am, Sir. It will take 10 minutes for your orders, is that alright?"

Tanch just nodded and James just smiled then the waiter left them alone. 

Tanch stared at James who has this big smirk plastered on his face. 

Tonight, he's nothing but a jerk. 

Tanch reached out for the glass of water and drink it in big gulps then clench her fist under the table.

I can do this.

"Let's break up James."

James' expression didn't even change. He still has that big smirk plastered on his face. James put her clasped hand on the table and look at Tanch amusingly. 

I can't understand his expression. I don't know why is he smirking. Why is he amused? Why the hell he looks like he's expecting this? 

James didn't speak for 10 seconds neither did Tanch. They were just staring at each other. Waiting who will surrender first, and Tanch win.

Tanch let out air from her nose then look at the table. 

I'm busy calming my nerves from freaking out.

"Okay."

Okay? Did he just say okay? Is that mean he's okay with it? He'll let me go? 

Tanch smiled widely and was about to speak up to thank him for letting her go when James spoke again.

"In one condition."

"W-what is it?"

"I want you to tell me who's the reason why you're breaking up with me."

James crossed her hands on his chest then lean his back on his chair.

He's challenging me. The way he looks at me, his smirk, and his aura; they are screaming with evil intentions. 

"W-what are you saying? I'm not doing this for someone else."

"Really? Then why are you breaking up with me?"

"It's just that, we're not in love with each other. I don't see any reason to continue this relationship."

"Is that so? But we've been together for almost a year. In those days, you never give a damn to think about this relationship. Why all of a sudden you want to break up with me?"

Tanch looked down at her clasped hands under the table. 

"It's just, It's not right. We're just fooling around. This was never serious."

"Oh? But no one would be hurt if we continue fooling around."

"No, it's just-"

"Or maybe there's someone else who will get hurt if we continue our relationship? Am I right?"

I didn't look away at my clasped hands. I don't want to look at him in the eyes. It feels like he's seeing the inside of me. I didn't reply. I don't have enough strength to deny it. Nervousness was eating the inside of me. My mind was a blank mess. I don't know what to say. I want to say "No, you're wrong." but I feel like he knew that I'm lying.

"Then I think I should show it to you."

Show what?

Tanch finally found the courage to look on him with her eyes getting bigger due to shock and confusedness. James took his wallet and took 3 hard white papers on it.

Tanch's heart beats louder. It was like she's going to be deaf due to its loud beats. It was like her heart was beating next to her ears. 

"W-what is that?"

"Oh? This? This is a picture of you."

James turned his hand that's holding the 'picture' and showed it to Tanch.

"With Sarah."

Tanch turned pale as she saw the picture. Her body stiffened and her nails slowly digging into her palm as she clenched her fist in anger. 

"W-where did you get that?"

"Come on Tanch. Did you really think that I didn't notice that you're too close with that dyke? It's maybe normal for other people since you're 'friends'."

James mouthed the last word in sarcasm and hatred.

 "But you can't fool me Tanch. I knew Sarah more than you knew. She's dyke, a murderer, an evil-"

"Stop!" 

Tanch shouted loud enough to not catch other people's attention.

"You don't know her. You're the one who's evil here. Sarah told me the truth. You seduced her first love because she rejected you. You beat her up and make her life miserable. You're nothing but an asshole."

Tanch spits every word with hatred and venom. James' expression hardened as she heard Tanch speak with him with so much hatred. James clenched his jaw and clutched his fist for a few seconds then smirked again. 

"Whatever Tanch. Say what you want. Do what you want. But first, let me ask you, what do you think I will do with these pictures if you break up with me?"

Tanch bit her lips so hard to suppress the anger that's building upon her. 

"Aw. You two are so sweet here."

James stared again at the picture with bitterness on her eyes. It was a picture of Tanch and Sarah hugging each other, holding each other's hands and Sarah kissed the edge of Tanch's lips. 

"You look like two idiots in love with each other. What a pain in the eyes. You immoral dykes."

Tanch tried to snatch the picture to him but failed as he put it away from her reach. 

"You know Tanch, I never expected that you'll be trash too. You let Sarah turned you into dyke. Are you even thinking? I thought you're smart? Well, I guess maybe I'm wrong, you're actually stupid."

I couldn't utter a word. I have too much to say but I can't even say a single word. 

"You want to get these pictures, right?"

Tanch gulped again in nervousness.

"Okay, I'll give these to you." 

James stretched his hand holding the pictures near Tanch's trembling hands. 

"You can have it."

"D-do you mean it?"

James nodded and smiled at her. He looks at Tanch, trying to convince her to go grab it. Tanch moved her shaking hands and move it closer to the pictures. Her hand is getting nearer the picture when James smiled at her then put his hand away from her reach.

What an asshole!

"In one condition."

One condition again. Is he toying me? Obviously, yes. 

"If it's breaking up with Sarah, you can keep those pictures until your death arrives." 

"Oh, you're sure about that?"

I hesitated for a second. But no, I shouldn't leave Sarah just because of this stupid blackmailing thing.

"Y-yeah, asshole."

Tanch failed to remain brave enough to not accept his foolish conditions when she stuttered that made James' smile became wider then laughed like a maniac. People look at their table, probably wondering what's up with them, but James doesn't give a damn about them and just continue laughing for almost 10 seconds. 

"Tanch I knew you. You care about other people's opinions. You don't want to disappoint the people around you, especially your lovely parents. They may be kind and they love you, but sometimes love is not enough."

"Love will never be enough. Even if someone loves you, they can still hurt you. They can still abandon you. They can still reject you. They can still disown you. Not because they love you, the love they have for you will never fade. I'm sure you know that. "

Tanch avoided his gaze and instead looked at her hands. She closes her eyes and prays that this was just a nightmare. 

I want to cover my ears with my hands! I don't want to listen to him! But my hands won't move. It feels like someone was holding it and forcing it to remain in the table.

"Tanch how are you going to continue your life when suddenly everyone you thought loved you turned their backs to you? Just because you turned into a dyke. Just because you become immoral. Just because you let these pictures get on the internet. How will you live then? Can you just ignore those judgemental stares and endless called whispers but it's loud and clear to your ears? Can you do that? Can you live with that kind of life?"

I can't see James' face but I knew he's smiling like a maniac. 

Tanch didn't speak until our food arrives neither James. James was just smirking and rejoicing quietly because he's aware that Tanch we're having a hard time now; choosing between her perfect life and her happiness. 

"Come on eat babe. These foods are delicious."

Tanch didn't even bother to touch the utensils. She lost her appetite. 

I want to go home. I want to leave this place now. I don't want to hear his voice anymore nor see his face. I-I want to be alone with Sarah. Snuggle up to her and never worry about tomorrow.

"You know babe, I'm kind enough to give you enough time to decide."

Tanch looks up to him and gives her a puzzled look.

"You know, to decide whether you'll break up with me or you'll break up with Sarah."

"I won't break up with Sarah!"

"Of course you'll say that now. But I'll give you time to think and weigh the situation. Until Saturday. Come to my house, any time you want. I'll wait for your decision if its Sarah then you'll lose everyone or everyone and just lose Sarah."

Tanch glared at him. If looks will kill, he will be dead in no time. But James just smirked at her. 

I hate him! How the hell could he do this? How can he be so asshole? I just want to be with Sarah's arm all the time without thinking about anything. Why. Why he's making it hard for me?

Sarah. I can't leave her just because he blackmailed me. I love Sarah more than everything. I love Sarah more than everyone. I- I- I love Sarah so much and I hate James. But I hate myself because I'll break my promise to her.