Silenced

  I've gone to a Christian school my whole life and I've always felt like I was different from others, I don't know how but in my gut I've always felt different. At school we're currently learning about l***q+ people and how they are all going to Hell if we don t help them. Today we were taught about Lesbians and how they are evil and they don't follow the path god created for them. When they told us what a Lesbian is and I quote "A Lesbian is a female sinner who is attracted to the same gender, and unless they get help they're going to Hell just like all the other gays." I realized that I might be a Lesbian because I am a girl and I've always had this attraction to girls I couldn't explain. "No, that's not possible I can't be into girls I'll go to hell" I muttered to myself. ~A FEW WEEKS LATER ~ What we've been learning in schools has gotten me thinking a lot about my sexuality. It has made me realize that I am a lesbian, what confirmed it for me was when I watching Wonder Woman with my family and I couldn't stop staring at her. It took a while for the fact that I like girls to sink in but when it did I was overcome with dread because my family is VERY Christian so they would never and I mean never accept me if they knew. When all of this sank in I started to cry, and I just grabbed my stuffed bunny (yes I'm 14 and still have a stuffed animal get over it) and crawled into my covers and cried myself to sleep. "Honey, why are your eyes red? Were you crying?" My mom asked waking me up. "No, it's probably because I just woke up let me just go wash my face please." I responded groggily "Ok honey get ready for school when you're done" planting a kiss on my forehead. "Yes ma'am" I rubbed the tired out of my eyes and I went to go wash my face and got ready for school. On my way to school I was debating if I should tell my friends that I've figured out that I'm into girls or I at least think I am into girls. On one hand I don't want to possibly lose my friends forever but on the other I don't exactly want to keep this bottled up as it is such a big thing. If I'm being honest with myself I don't want to be alone maybe it's for the best that I don't tell my friends. Yea, its for the best I don't tell them. I suddenly feel solemn but I put a fake smile on my face and go on with my day hoping it will get better. When I arrived at school my friends Sarah and Clover were talking to each other and I couldn't help but run up to them and give them a hug. "GIRLS NO TOUCHING YOU KNOW THE RULES!" yelled one of the teachers. Me and my friends instantly got annoyed at the lady and stopped hugging. After that me and my friends went about our day talking whenever we could. When it finally became time for me to go to lunch was when my day went downhill and fast. Me, Clover, and Sarah happen to have the same lunch so we always sit together but today was different. "Hey ladies can I join?" Jeremy asked, Jeremy is the school player; Clover for some reason decided to let Jeremy join us knowing me and Sarah don't want him around us. It was going fine but just as I was thinking maybe Jeremy isn't as bad as they say he starts to hit on Clover and she's clearly falling for it. "Sarah do you see what I see?" I quietly ask her. "Yea, I don't wanna watch anymore I can tell we're gonna lose her let's get out of here" She whispers I nod my head and me and Sarah leave knowing Clover will get sucked into his trap while getting a push into the world of high school popularity. ~ A COUPLE WEEKS LATER~ We were right, Clover got sucked into Jeremy's trap and ended up dating him which made her popular. It's amazing how popularity can change someone so much, Clover was a really sweet girl but when she started to date Jeremy she became meaner and meaner, She isn't the same Clover we once knew. ~AUTHOR'S NOTE~ Hey guys I just wanted to go ahead tell you all that the chapters I make are gonna be a bit short but I will try to have some long chapters sometimes. Anyway I hope y'all enjoyed the book so far please let me know in the comments if you have any suggestions or ways I could my work if need be. Also please like my book so that I know you guys like it! I also realize I didn't talk much about Emilia's sexuality but that will be talked about more in the next chapter.