On Loop

It begins again. The green seatbelt sign above him lights up as the gasps grow louder. Dinig na dinig niya ang iyak ng ilang mga sanggol at ang pag-aalala sa boses ng mga magulang nito. I can't die tonight. Meron pang stockholders' meeting bukas. He peers at the thick gray clouds outside the window and marvels at the strength of the turbulence in the last twenty minutes. Naiinis siya sa sarili niya dahil kinuha niya pa rin ang last flight kahit inabisuhan na siya ng staff tungkol sa panahon ngayon. Beside him, a brown-haired girl about his age sleeps peacefully, her head half buried in her yellow neck pillow. She remains blissfully indifferent to the growing mayhem around her. Suddenly, the lights dim and the pilot's voice crackles over the speaker. "Ladies and gentlemen, we ask you to stay in your seats and fasten your seatbelt. Keep your seats at the upright position with your tray tables stowed. We will be encountering more turbulence, so please bear with us." A couple more terrifying bumps hit the plane. He bits his bottom lip, valiantly trying not to cuss. He glances at the sleeping girl beside him and squints his eyes in the faint cabin light. She looked strangely familiar to him. Maybe a trainee? He had so many classes these past few months that he could never remember them all. Still, he is impressed by her obliviousness. Paanong sumisigaw na ang iba sa takot, samantalang siya ay natutulog lang? After what seems like a torturous eternity, the lights came back and the plane quietly drifts into calmer territory. The babies have now stopped wailing. An uncertain hush falls upon the passengers as they try to regain their composture. Bumuntong hininga siya at umupo ng ayos. Bigla na lang gumising ang babae sa tabi niya at tumingin sa kanya. "Morning!" sabi nito. Tumama ang mata niya sa isa pang pares ng mala tsokolateng mga mata. His heart suddenly flusters. Those eyes. He swears he has seen them before, but he can't remember where or when. In the midst of all the chaos, he finds himself utterly transfixed by those eyes, those lashes, and those lips. He close his eyes for a moment and inhales the air that lingers around her. Vanilla and lemon -- this is the scent he knows so well, but does not know how or why. He remembers her and can't place her at the same time. She is saying something, her lips are moving, but he hears nothing. He knows those lips but the exact memory escapes him. The lips begin to form a smile, and swears he's seen that smile before. She sits up, peels of her neck pillow, and proceeds to fix her hair. As she gathers it up in a high bun, she exposes her lovely caramel-colored neck and shoulders, teasing him with a sense of deja vu. Alam niya na mayroong nunal ang dalaga kahit hindi niya pa ito nakita. He studies her little hand tying her hair and sees a little ring around her finger. A yellow diamond in its center sparkles in the din light of the cabin... an engagement ring. Strangely enough, he feels that he knows this for a fact. He knows how much it costs. He even knows it was given in the midst of winter. Somehow he knows all of this but does not remember. He does not know her name of face. He does not know her at all. "Are you okay?" tanong ng dalaga sa kanya. He scans his memory again. Is she someone he met at the corporate event? A friend of a friend? An old classmate from Bulacan? She relaxes back into her seat, gives him another heart-stopping smile, and gently adjusts her diamond ring. "So binabasa mo ulit?" He frowns, unaware of what she is referring to. She gestures to a hardbound book inserted in the front pocket across his chair. "The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea." she points out. "Alam mo, I've always wondered kung bakit ganun ang title ng book." "Uhm well... the author is a big Carpenters fan. Parang lyric ata nila..." he pauses, suddenly unsure of his own actions. Why am I even explaining to her? None of this was making sense. "Aha! That's why it's familiar!" she hums a tune he doesn't recognize. "Alam mo namang favorite ni Papa yung Carpenters." "Papa?" She smiles and playfully punches his arm. "Hala ka. Nakalimutan mo! Lagot ka kay Papa." she says. "Anyway, since you've read that book like a hundred of times already, tell me about it." Papa? Carpenters? Hundred of times??But I've only started reading the book! What the hell was going on? Yet before he can stop, he finds himself answering her question. "Well, it talks about the choices and how they impact everything else... that if you could do things all over again, the best choices are actually the same as the ones you made before..." "The best choices are same as the ones you made before." she echoes wistfully as she leans closer, her vanilla and lemon scent intoxicating him, triggering an uncertain sense of nostalgia he cannot place. A thousand incomprehensible thoughts race through his head, yet before he can even begin to make any sense, he finds himself leaning into her and kissing her with inexplicable desperation. It feels utterly familiar and utterly new at the same time. Waves of confusion flood his system but everything feels right. Somehow, this kiss is something he needs. It is something he knows. It is something he has done a thousand times before. She slowly peels her lips from his, leaving him lost but wanting. Now he is torn between wanting to kiss her again and wanting to find out what the hell is going on. She leans closer and brings her lips to his ear. "Find me..." she whispers. The plane suddenly hits another invisible bump, eliciting gasps from terrified passengers behind him. He closes his eyes as he strains to hear the rest of her words. "... and choose me again." A horrible feeling of impending doom floods his senses. The lights in the plane begin to flicker once again. Dark. Light. Dark. Light. Dark.