OBSESSION: I don't fall in love, I absorb it.

For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted the things I can't have. Especially the things that aren't mine to want. I don't even know why. I can't explain it, but it's just this constant, heavy feeling I carry around. And right now? All I can think about is Owen Cooper. My sister's boyfriend. I know, I know. Trust me, I know how awful that sounds. You're probably judging me right now, and honestly, I don't blame you. What is wrong with me? you're thinking. But feelings aren't logical, they just happen. Of course, I'd never actually say a word to anyone. My best friend thinks I've just been stressed about finals. I let her think that. I keep the truth buried inside, locked away where no one can ruin it. But it's so hard when he's right there. He takes me out on dates. Well, group dates with my sister Chloe, but still. He brings me flowers whenever he comes over to see her. It's like I get this extra princess treatment just by association. I know he's just being a good guy, a perfect gentleman. I know a normal girl would think it doesn't mean he likes me that way, but God, that's exactly what makes me fall for him even harder. He is just so incredibly gentle, and kind, and cute. Did I mention cute? Because he really is. To me, he's just... the best human being alive. And I'm just stuck here, watching from the sidelines. Or at least, I used to be. Yesterday, everything changed. He laughed at one of my jokes, and for a split second, his hand brushed my shoulder. Just a casual, friendly gesture to anyone else. But my whole body went electric. I stayed awake until 3:00 AM replaying that two-second moment in my head, staring at my bedroom ceiling until the darkness turned to gray dawn. That was the moment I realized living in a fantasy world is exhausting. I'm tired of waiting for a mistake, waiting for him to do something ordinary or annoying just so I can snap out of it. He doesn't. He just stays perfect. And if he's perfect, why should Chloe get to keep him all to herself? I look down at the floor of my bedroom. It looks like a crime scene. A massive trash bag sits by my desk, stuffed to the brim with my old life. The oversized black hoodies, the ripped dark denim, the heavy eyeliner,the whole "I don't care about the world" aesthetic I've worn like armor for three years. It's all garbage now. Instead, my bed is covered in pink. Soft pastel cardigans, pleated skirts, and a bottle of floral perfume I bought after staring at Chloe's vanity for an hour. The guilt used to sit in my stomach like a rock every time I looked at my sister. She's happy, she's glowing, and she has no idea that her own flesh and blood is secretly wishing to step into her shoes. I love her, I really do. But love is a luxury I can't afford anymore. When Owen walks through that door, my love for Chloe gets tangled up in this toxic, desperate envy. If Owen loves a soft, sweet, girly girl... then that's exactly what I'll give him. Better than Chloe ever could. The closet door snaps shut, hiding the last traces of who I used to be. I glide a pale pink gloss over my lips, watching my reflection change. It's a dangerous game, and maybe I'll be the only one who gets hurt. But right now, when he smiles at me? I don't want to wake up. I want to win.