Prologue.
The hall was filled with shouts and cheers as people were hugging themselves and screaming ‘congratulations’ at the top of their lungs. The vice principal tried so desperately to get the crowd under control, but nothing could stop the class of 2010s joy as this was their graduating year. This was their last day at the crest field high that they had grown to love and hate all at once.
Throughout the hall, you could see tears on the faces of the students saying their last goodbye and the huge smile that was on display as their graduation caps that were once floating in the sky now lay sprawled along the floors. Parents and guardians leafing through the crowds to hug their kids.
“Andrew my boy, congratulations. Your mother and I are so proud of you. You did it, my boy.” Andrew’s dad patted his shoulder as he spoke grinning ear to ear. Andrew, on the other hand, looked nervous and was looking all over the hall for the one person on his mind, the one person he didn’t want to see for the last time. As his eyes landed on her, all the surrounding voices muffled and almost became silent to him. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he smiled sheepishly. Following his gaze, his older brother immediately knew and said while pushing him forward.
“Go get her guppy”
‘Guppy’ was a nickname that his brother had come up with regarding his weight. Andrew had hated it at first and even begged him to change it to anything else. But Matthew never budged, so eventually, he learned to live with it, and maybe even like it, to be honest.
Andrew walked and weaved through the crowds till he was right behind her. He took in a deep breath and tapped on her shoulder. As she turned to look at him, he went breathless like he’d been running and his palms got sweaty as he cleaned it against the graduation gown repeatedly. She looked at him and smiled.
“Hi Andy”
“Can we talk outside for a minute? It’s way too loud in here.”
After Andrew spoke, she took his hand and tugged him towards the door. He followed till they were outside and the atmosphere was calmer. Looking up at him, she said,
“Sorry, I just pulled you out; it was way too loud in there.”
“It’s fine,” was all Andrew could get out with a small smile on his lips.
Under the crisp night sky and the moon illuminating her. He couldn’t help himself thinking she looked like a princess, exactly like the ones from fairy tales. He admired all her features as if seeing her for the first time. Her dark hair was wavy as it flowed all around her face, resting in a way that looked unruly and neat all at once. Her eyes were the shiniest brown orbs that almost glowed in the night. Her dark skin was like melted chocolate; it wasn’t too dark, wasn’t too light, it was perfect brown. Just right even. Her eyes had golden flecks in them, they looked like honey-colored lights.
He’d heard somewhere that when you loved someone, they seemed to sparkle in your eyes. Well to Andrew, Zalia Parker was basically amongst the stars. They’d been friends for 5 years, met in middle school, and they stayed close for years. She was the valedictorian, the girl everyone knew would head straight to college and probably end up living luxuriously, with a picket fence, probably an athletic husband and 3 kids -which is the perfect number to have — and live happily ever after, and he was a nobody, he’d had 3 friends in all his years of high school, was bullied by the jocks, was a nerd and most likely a geek.
Everyone always called him funny, but not because they could laugh with him, it was because they always laughed at him. In his yearbook, he was voted ‘most likely to be the joke’. And some people had signed ‘piggy’ on it since he’d always been on the heavy side, so that never helped.
As he looked at Zalia under the moonlight, he realized that she’d stuck with him through thick and thin, that she’d been his friend. And now he wants to be more than a friend to her.
“Zalia, i- I- I’m, I have…” he found himself stuttering through the nervousness. She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder,
“I know what you want to say, Andrew, I’ll miss you too, but Stanford isn’t really that far, and we’ll text and call each other, or you could just come to California with me. I mean, you don’t have to go to N.Y.U, your grades are even better than mine, you could go any-”
“Zalia, I love you,” he blurted out, seeing as how she wasn’t going to stop, but he was ready to follow her anywhere.
She stopped talking, looking at him; she looked confused, like she was thinking about something, before she finally spoke up.
“I don’t think we’ve said that to each other before.”
She got a serious look and spoke
“I love you, Andrew; how couldn’t I love you? You’re my best friend, c’mon, Let's go take some pictures.”
She took his hand and tried taking him back into the hall, but he held onto her hand and pulled her a bit closer. He looked straight into her eyes, hoping this time she’d understand him better.
“I’m in love with you, Zalia Parker, and I have been for years.” He was smiling, hoping this time she’d get it, get that she was the love of his life, he was hopeful, almost expectant of something, but he didn’t know what… maybe it’d be a confession too, maybe a hug, or even a kiss if he was lucky.
“No, no… n… no,” she tried to pull her hand free as she shook her head no, almost in horror.
Desperate to try and save the situation, he started rambling.
“Zalia, I’m in love with you, and I think I’ve been in love with you since the first time you said my name, since before I knew you, I loved you from afar. The way you speak, so confident in your words, your smile brightens my day without you knowing it. Your contagious laugh—”
“Stop”
“No, Zalia, please listen to me; you are the reason I kept fighting all these years. You inspire me to be better. I love everything about you, your eyes, your soul, your thoughts, your dreams, your hair, even the way your nose scrunches up when you’re sad, and how, when you get nervous, your legs shake, or you try to hide when you’re angry, but it shows anyhow-”
“Andrew, Stop”
“No, Zalia Juanita Parker, I love you with every bone in my body. My heart calls for you endlessly. You’re not hearing me, listen-”
“ANDREW!!! Stop, YOU'RE not listening to me. Why’d you have to do this? Why’d you– look, don’t ruin this for me please, don’t ruin this friendship for me. Please. Let’s forget this ever happened and keep being friends. I don’t want to lose you.”
With each statement, Andrew’s face fell and he looked crushed.
“I can’t do that, Zalia. It’ll hurt me too much. That’s not fair to me.”
“And is this fair to me? What did you expect from me? I can’t change who I am for you.
“I never asked you to,” was all Andrew could say.
“You don’t know what you’re saying, Andrew, I can’t love you that way-”
“Can’t or won’t allow yourself to Zalia?”
“I think we should stop being friends, at least for now. I can never like you in that way. I will never like you that way, and if you need time to realize that.”
“You’re not even giving me a chance,” his voice shook as he spoke.
“You’re not giving me any choice. You pushed me to a corner, and what did you expect? That I’d run into your arms, say I love you in that way? I don’t, I won’t, and I most certainly never will, Andrew. Get over me.” Her voice rose with every word till she was screaming at him.
“You can’t blame me for these feelings, Zalia”
“I don’t blame you for loving me, I blame you for telling me and making me the bad guy because I don’t feel the same.”
She turned to walk away, leaving him standing with tears in his eyes and as a slight drizzle began to fall.
“We don’t match, you and I ... I deserve someone better, not some fat pig that drinks and texts embarrassing things. I have to put myself first.”
And as if wanting to nail down
the coffin. She muttered a faint ‘goodbye’ as she walked away, stepping on Andrew’s heart all the way.