undecided

Wana and Anthony

I reach home very early from work, I text Boyde and asked him if he was at work and he responded to say he was working late. I asked him, if he was busy and could talk and he informed me that he will call me in a few minutes he was busy at the moment doing something. I put my phone on charge and went to prepare something to eat. I prepared enough and left some for Anthony, he always stop by in the evenings for dinner. although I left the dinner for him I was worried if he will stop by. I miss him and although he make me feel messed up inside I wanted to see him, I wanted to be in his company. not being with him makes me very miserable and frustrated.

I was waiting to hear from Boyde, so I ate and went to have a shower, after my shower I turn on my television and curled up in my couch and was watching a movie when I hear the lock on my grill to my veranda open. My heart skip a beat, I know it was Anthony. I was happy but at the same time I was afraid. I did not know what to do or say based on how he was acting.

I hear when he entered the verendah and lock the pad lock on the grill, that tells me he had no intention of leaving anytime soon. He came into the room where I was, upon entering the room, he went to the fridge and get himself some water to drink. he then went into the bathroom wash his hands then come where I was sitting in the couch and sit beside me. I observed he was not wearing his work cloths, it seems that he went home and have a shower and then he return. he was also smelling fresh like he just have a shower. I observed that he have his work bag, that he put on the little bed in the room. he also has a pair of work shoes that he place at the foot of the bed and a suit of work cloths that he put on the bed . after sitting beside me, he did not said anything for about five minutes. he then move closer towards me, then he hugged me and pulled me towards him saying, "I am sorry, I know you are hurting and I am sorry." "i never mean to hurt you, but I am married and I cannot love you the way you deserved to be love." he then kissed me on my forehead and pulled me from the couch and turn off the television. he walked me to my room where we both get into my bed. upon entering the bed, I went to lay in the corner crying, I did not respond to anything that he said to me because I was overwhelmed with emotion's. I did not know what to do or say. I did not know how to react to what he said to me. he pulled me over to where he was, he take off his cloths and was only in his boxers. he held me close to him, but he did not said anything. I felt warm and comfortable in his arms. he did not attempt to have s*x with me. we lay there him holding me in his arm for about an hour when my phone started ringing, I know it was Boyde calling. Anthony asked me if it was Boyde and I told him yes, I could see that he was not happy about him calling me, he ask if I was going to take the call and I told him no. the phone rang out, it eventually stop ringing. I lay in Anthony arms until I fall asleep.

about 2:00am I woke up because I wanted to use the bathroom. when I attempt to let go off Anthony and go to the bathroom he held onto me asking where I was off to. I told him bathroom and he accompany me. he stood at the door watching me pee until I finish he lift me up and carry me back to bed. when we lay on the bed he pulled me towards him, I was facing him, he started kissing me slowly, while fondling my breasts. I began to feel turned on. he pushed his tongue into my mouth deepening the kiss, I moaned into his mouth, I could feel my desire burning inside me. I wanted to feel his mouth on my breast, I removed my top, I was wearing an oversized T-shirt and a underwear. upon removing the shirt he started to trail kisses down my body. he sucked on my breast causing me to feel wet between my legs. my n*****s were stiff and I was feeling very aroused. I kissed him deeply, I fondles his d**k, and sucked on his n*****s, I feel the shaft of his d**k rock solid in my palm, he put me to lay on my back and come over me, he kiss my ears, and my neck while fingering my p***y. I kissed him and massage his stuff d**k with my hands, I run my tongue over his ears lobe, kiss his neck and suck on it while massaging his d**k. he then sucks my beast and position between my legs. I open my legs putting my foot over his shoulders, giving him access to my now wet dripping p***y. he inserted his p***s into my v****a with one hard trust, I cried out in pain, but I was feeling pleasure at the same time. he relaxed his body and wait for me to adjust to the size of his d**k. he then started to pump his p***s into my wet p***y. I move my hips to the movements of his hips. he stop and look at me, you could see how aroused he was. his eyes were dark, he kissed me deeply and said,"if only you know how much I love you, if only you know how you make me feel alive." tears started to run from my eyes, I was feeling emotional, I did not know how to respond to what he said. my only response was to kiss him deeply and f**k the hell out of him. I f**k him and milk his d**k dry, until we fall asleep from exertion.

I awake the following morning about 5:30am, he was still asleep, I texted Boyde and lied to him telling him I fall asleep because I was tired, tell him I love him and wish him a lovely day. I then went to the bathroom and freshen up. after which I went and prepare breakfast for both of us. while the breakfast was on the stove, I ironed his cloths for work, we had to be at work by 8:00am.

about 6:40am he woke up, he went to the bathroom freshen up then eat his breakfast. after he finish eaten we talked for about half hour. I tell him how I was feeling and he open up to me and tell me that he is in love with me but he is still married and cannot give me what I wanted.

I tell him that I love him and I have deep feelings for him. what I did not tell him however is that I was actually in love with him and I was thinking of breaking off the relationship between Boyde to be with him. when I tell him how I felt about him he held me and give me a deep kiss. I could see how troubled he was, you could see it in his eyes and on his face. I tell him I understand his situation, but I love him and I am willing to be with him irrespective of the fact that he is married. we both get ready and travel to work together. at work no one think anything of us coming in together, they know we are close and often times travel together.

during the day we see each other often, whenever he sees me he often smile and I smile back, I was happy and feeling myself at work again I did not feel uncomfortable around him. he and I both come to the understanding that we did not want anyone at work knowing we were involved s****l, they were already speculating so will will allow them to continue to speculate.

we went to lunch together as usual along with the rest of my team mates. we have fun and laugh. during the day I called Boyde and we talked, he asked how I was feeling, if I was feeling any better and I lied to him yet again saying I was ok but having a slight headache. truth be told, the only place that was hurting was my v****a from all the activities of the previous night. I could not wait to leave work to go home Anthony and I. he texted telling me how turned on he was just watching me in my heels and how much he wants to f**k me in my heels.

After work we went home, we spent the evening together having fun, by watching movies and playing games. we continue like this for days. sometimes he went home after work and return to spend the night with me.

Anthony and I relationship become better over the following months to come. I continue the relationship with Boyde where we text and called each other, but over time I realized that there was changes in his attitude and behaviour towards me. He hardly call and hardly text. most times when he is at work, whenever he is on breaks he normally call to find out how am doing. The first thing he normally does in the morning was to text telling me good morning and I notice that over time I hardly get a Good morning text. Even an entire day went by without me hearing from him. Boyde have some cousins that were close to me, I started to notice changes in their conversation whenever were are conversing. they are always encouraging me to moved on with my life because it clear Boyde don't know what exactly he want. I continue to ignore what they are saying not realizing they are saying something to me without actually saying something. this continued for months into nearly two years.

During this time Anthony wife divorced him, he was happy and he and I have a more committed relationship. we spend more time together and do more things together. Boyde visit my country on three occasions without telling me, I hear through his cousins. normally he would come to my house or even make plans when he is coming but I had no idea he was in my country until he actually reach. I later learn through his cousins that he have a woman pregnant in the area where they are living. I also learn that he is married and his wife refuse from giving him a divorce. I confronted him about the woman being pregnant and he denied it flatly stating it was rumors. I did not tell him where I get the information from because I did not want any animosity in his family because of me. when the baby born his cousins send me pictures of the baby and his mother. also the baby name which was his name. I asked him again and he denied same. I confided in Anthony and tell him what was happening, he decided he will not interfere but I must do what's best.

I continue my relationship with Anthony because based on everything between Boyde and I, it was clear that I was in a relationship all by myself, he had nice on. I did not make it become a bother, I continue to live knowing he was being unfaithful and telling me pure lies. based on all I gathered our relationship was a lie from the beginning because he is still married. mark you Anthony was married at the time we get involved but he and his wife was separated and living apart until they finally divorced. based on what I gathered, Boyde was having this relationship with this woman at the same time he was with me, as well as married.

I continue to enjoy my relationship with Anthony, because based on everything Boyde and I did not have a relationship anymore, it was clear where his priorities are, based on how he was treating me. it was displayed in our conversation together he never have anything to say to me or for us to discuss. he will call and we on the phone for hours and the only person doing the talking is me. it started to become very frustrated for me. The worst part about it all he make no effort to come see me or make any effort for me to come see him. If I make mention about traveling he is always encouraging me to go to family to spend my time and not come by him, this leave me to wonder if he ever wanted a relationship or he was just joking around.

I was given time off from work, seventy days vacation leave, which will take me up to about four months. I called him and speak to him about it, telling him how much I wanted to come spend time with him as well as work while I was there and he flat out told me I should go to Canada where my relatives are.

everytime I mention about going abroad, he never encourage me to come spend time with him, it's always that I must go elsewhere to visit other family members.

I started to grow distance away from Boyde, I lost all feeling for him. I learn over time that he was just using me until he get what he wants. because of what I learn I stop calling and texting him. if he don't call or text my phone, I do not call or text him either. this goes on for about two years in out if the seven years we are together. It reaches a point where I decided to stop speaking to him all together and concentrate on my relationship with Anthony.