Oh joy. So Maya, in her infinite goddamn wisdom and zero filter, thought it was the best idea ever to out my “secret” to my parents. And no, it wasn’t “I’m secretly a billionaire” or “I’m planning to take over the world.” It was way juicier: I hear voices. Yeah. Like, real disembodied voices trying to “help” me navigate the hot mess that is life. Apparently, that’s the kind of revelation that’ll send your parents screaming in terror like I just told them I wanted to eat glass for fun.
Cue the parental freakout of the century. My parents basically looked like they’d seen a ghost. No, scratch that. They looked like they’d seen a ghost wearing sunglasses, riding a unicorn, juggling chainsaws, and reciting the Gettysburg Address backwards. It was horror movie-level horror. I almost expected
