To Kiss My True Memories

CHAPTER 3

Chapter 3

Maingay na katok nag gumising sakin kinaumagahan. Antok pa at ayaw bangunin, kung hindi lamang ito kanina pa kumakatok ay hindi ko ito bubuksan. Nakakarindi eh! Ibang katok ito ngayon sa mga nauna kaninang katok. I'm sure this isn't one of our housemaid or my Nanny. This knock is familiar to me. I rolled my eyes irritatedly. This girl pestering me.

I stay on my bed for a minutes. I closed my eyes remembering what I've felt yesterday. When I went home yesterday after I checked the restaurant. I stay on my bed still thinking about that feelings, I also pushed myself, my heart to feel again that strange feelings but I couldn't feel it again.

Please, I really, really want to feel that feeling again. But how?

Seems there was a key to unlock my heart before I feel that feelings again. Seems someone is the key.

Even it was a strange feelings I still want to feel it again.

Napabugtong hininga ako ng malakas bago tamad akong tumayo sa malambot kong kama para maharap ang pinsan kong babae. She made my morning bad, I hope not all my day, I want peace!

"What-" I'm not yet done with my words when she cut me off.

"What the hell coz! You made me worry!" malakas niyang sigaw sa pagmumuka ko.

Duh! Seems she's at the mountain kung makasigaw, katabi niya lamang ako pero makasigaw wagas. Sirang-sira na ang umaga ko! Karindi pa ang boses niyang may katinisan!

"Why you didn't open the door quickly!" she shouted again.

I rolled my eyes irritatedly. "What? I'm still sleeping." I said lazily.

"Kahit na!"

Napasinghap ako. "The heck Gem! What's wrong with you?" Inis ko nang tugon dahil na din siguro sa bitin na tulog.

"Galing ako sa restaurant at wala ka doon." aniya.

"'Cause I'm here nga." nawawalan ng pasensya kong tugon.

"I asked Sheeme! And worse she didn't know kung bakit hindi ka pumasok. Wala kang pinagsabihan kung bakit ka wala sa restaurant." pinag-krus niya ang kaniyang kamay at mataray na tumayo sa harapan ko. "They worried about you also."

"Worried?" taka kong tanong.

"Hindi ka man lang nagsabi, it's almost ten in the morning!" sigaw niya na nag-pagising sa aking diwang inaantok pa.

"What!" bulyaw ko.

"Yes!" sigaw nya pabalik.

Napasimangot ako sa kaniya. "Hindi ko alam! Napasarap tulog ko!" sigaw ko.

Tsk, parang tanga, nagsisigawan na kami dito sa loob ng aking kwarto. Nakagiwi akong tumingin sa kaniya, inirapan niya naman ako, iritado.

"My gosh I'm late na pala." saad ko at walang pag-aatubiling bumalik sa loob ng kwarto.

I glanced at the clock near to my bed to check if my cousin's says the truth. Nanlalaki ang mata ko ng pinagmasdan ito ng matagal, para bang hindi naniwala sa unang tingin. It's true! It's passed ten in the morning already! Gosh!

The fudge! Masyadong nasobrahan at napasarap ang tulog ko kaya hindi na namalayan ang oras dahil sa pagkakahimbing! I fall asleep kagabi ng matagal because I'm still thinking about the strange feelings I've felt.

"My goodness coz, bakit kaba late nagising?" kalmado ng saad ni Gem.

Hindi kona namalayan na nakasunod na ang aking pinsan sa aking kwarto. Hindi na ako nag-aksaya ng oras para sagutin pa siya. Dumeretsyo ako sa lalagyanan ng aking mga damit para pumili ng sususotin sa araw na ito. I don't have enough time to choose that's why I just picked up the first dress my eyes saw.

"What are you doing?" my cousin asked irritatedly when she saw what I'm doing. "You don't need to go to the restaurant, Sheeme can handle it. Magpahinga ka na muna ngayon." her words are full of command.

"Gem." mahinahon kong sabi. "I need to go to the restaurant. I need to check the food, the costumers — if, if they okay." tipid ko siyang sinulyapan.

She sighed as she sit on my bed lazily."Mag rest day ka muna. Do that in the other day."

"Gem, kailangan kong pumunta sa restaurant." tipid kong paliwanag.

She rolled her eyes. "Kala mo hindi namin alam ang nangyayari sayo?" she then raised her right eyebrow.

"About me? What is it?" tumutok ako sa kaniya.

"The commotion inside the restaurant?" galit niyang saad, titig na titig sa akin.

I looked away. "Okay na iyon... at tsaka It's only a small commotion."

"Small huh? Swear pagnalaman ito ni daddy..." banta niya.

"Oh, come on coz, you won't tell to Tito Amer." I gritted my teeth because of the irritation.

Swear, hindi ito magugustuhan ni Tito Amer! Baka hindi na ako payagang maghandle ng aming restaurant. Baka pabalikin na ako sa France. I remember what his last words before he let me go back here. I need to take care myself. I may not be involve in any trouble even it's a small commotion only.

"Magrest ka muna ngayon. Simula ng umuwi tayo dito sa Pilipinas ay wala ka pang pahinga!" aniya pa.

Tipid ko siyang nginitian. "I'm fine, coz. Sa restaurant lang naman ako."

"Tsk, okay fine." napipilitan niyang tugon. "But, I will stay at the restaurant too." she declared.

Tumawa ako na parang may nakakatawa sa sinabi niya. She got insulted by my laughter. "Seriously?" I then asked. "Baka hindi ka makatagal sa restaurant" I teased.

"Try me?" hamon niya.

"Boring doon." parinig ko pa.

"So?" Pinagtaasan niya ako ng kilay.

I chuckled. "I know you hate boring places."

"Whatever." Tumayo siya galing sa pagkakaupo. "I will just wait you downstairs."

"Okay. Bye coz." Mapang-asar kong saad.

Sinundan ko siya ng nang-iinis na tingin hanggang sa tuluyan na siyang nakalabas sa aking kwarto.

Nagmadali akong maligo at mag-ayos para mabilis na matapos. Swear, my time isn't enough to arrive at restaurant. Maybe mga lunch time na ako makarating? I need to manage my time, nakakahiya sa mga tao sa restaurant, ni hindi ko man lang sila nasabihan.

Though, Sheeme has the ability to manage it. I really trusted Sheeme but I still have to be there to help them. Tinatamad ang katawan ko at gusto pang matulog pero tinutulak ako ng nararamdaman ko na kailangan kong pumunta doon ngayon.

"I need to be there." said my every heartbeat.

I need to move faster but because I always find myself na nakatulala natagalan ako. Hindi ko alam ngunit nablablangko ang aking utak sa kadahilanang hindi nanaman alam. Natagal tuloy ako sa pag-aayos. Nakakahiya sa mga tao sa restaurant.

"Let's go." anyaya ko kay Gem nang makababa na galing sa itaas, done fixing myself.

Tumayo siya sa pagkakaupo sa sofa at maarteng umunang naglakad sa akin. She led the way until we reached her car. I don't need to bother my driver to send me to the restaurant. I will just ride Gem's car.

Kahit sa loob ng sasakyan ni Gem ay napapatulala na lamang ako. It was a good thing that Gem was remained silent, she didn't try to pissed me. I remained silent as well as I felt my chest beating so loud and fast with happiness that I don't know where comes from.

Maybe, sometimes we don't know why our heart smiling, sometimes we don't know where's our happiness came from, where's our smile began — but, maybe what we need was to feel and enjoy that moment. Moment that we found our heart genuinely happy even if we didn't know how.

Pinakiramdaman ko na lamang ang masasayang pagtibok ng aking dibdib. Though, it's driving me crazy thinking where's comes from this happiness but I really want this feeling that I don't even need to question why I feel this happiness!

Even we're still outside of the restaurant through the glass walls I could cleary saw how plenty our customers. Though, it weekdays there are still plenty people here to have their lunch.

"Kairra, kuya Aldwin and ate Zen will be here for lunch, sasabay sila sa atin." balita ni Gem habang pumapasok kami sa glass door.

"Okay. Maghahanda ako." tipid ko siyang binalingan ng tingin.

"Good afternoon ma'am." greetings from the guards as we enter in a glass door.

"Good afternoon po." nakangiti kong saad pabalik.

Si Gem ay deretso ng pumasok sa loob na sinundan ko naman. I quickly noticed that all my server was too busy but they didn't forget to greets us once they saw us, though they looked shocked because of my sudden presence here.

"Good afternoon miss Kairra, miss Gem." ang mga server sa na malapit, halata ang pagkakagulat.

Gulat sila sa aming presensya dahil walang pasabi. Kasii, Kairra, late ka! Maybe, they think that I won't be here this day. Nah, I'm just late.

"Good afternoon." I greeted back while we're still walking towards the counter.

Mabilis na umupo si Gem sa mga upuan doon at agarang nagpakuha ng wine para may mainom. I told you, she hates boring places. Duh, I just want to clear that isn't boring here but for her it's a boring time, she didn't used to be here, mas gusto niya sa maiingay at magulong lugar, sa mga bars.

I slowly walk towards her while shaking my head. "Kaya pa?" I asked, teasing her.

Sinamaan niya lamang ako ng tingin at nagpatuloy na sa kaniyang pag-inom. Tsk! This girl.

"Where's, Sheeme?" tanong ko sa malapit na babaeng server, kumukuha ng order.

"Nasa rooftop, Miss. Gusto niyo pong tawagin ko?" tanong niya.

"Yes, please, thanks." nginitian ko ito.

I'm not yet familiar to my server. Magtatatlong linggo pa lamang kasi simula ng makauwi kami dito sa Pilipinas galing sa France. I'm the one who insisted to go home here. I don't remember any memories that I'm here but tito Amer, tita Gemi and my cousins said that I'm still young when we live here with my family, sa France na raw ako lumaki at nagkaisip kaya hindi maalala ang tungkol dito dahil masyado pa akong bata noon.

Matapos magpaalam ng server na nagvolunteer upang tawagin si Sheeme binalingan ko ang aking pinsan na mag-isang umiinom ng wine. Inip na inip na,

"Coz, if you want to leave me here it's okay. Alam kong naboboring ka na." pangungulit ko sa kaniya, pero totoo naman iyon. "It's okay when you leave me here."

"Where I'm going, then?" mataray niyang tanong.

"Anywhere where isn't boring?" patanong kong sagot.

Her brow arch. "Like?"

I acted like I'm thinking. "Bar?" I suggested. I know she likes there. "Or wherever you want. Sa maiingay." I added.

"Nakakasawa, at tsaka maaga pa." she said simply.

"What if... tumulong ka sa business niyo." I suggested and smiled at her. As if she want? Haystt!

She hate to handle their business. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ayaw niyang ihandle ang kanilang business pero sa tingin ko ay may mabigat siyang dahilan.

She rolled her eyes at me first before she protested. "Duh! You know how I hate that part. Besides, kuya Aldwin can handle it."

"Kahit pa, mag-mamanage karin doon someday." I said matter of fact. "Why don't you train yourself now, Instead drinking wine?" tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.

"If you say so. Akyat muna ako sa taas ingay mo dito." kunwari'y inis niyang tugon.

"You likes loud places, right?" I asked pero hindi niya na ako pinansin at dumeretsyo na sa hagdanan patungo sa itaas.

Saktong pagkaalis ni Gem ay ang pagdating naman ni Sheeme.

"You're late, Kairra." panimula niya. "I thought you won't come here today."

Sinimangutan ko siya. "Wala akong sinabi, eh."

"I just thought..." ngumiwi siya. "I know that your tired yesterday. Sana ay nagpahinga ka na lamang, K. Kaya naman namin dito."

"Pinapaalis mo ba ako sa restaurant ko?" kunwari'y pagtataray ko.

She got shocked at what I said pero kalaunan ay napalitan din ng ngisi nang may para bang naalala siya

"Of course not." she laughed.

Nangiwi na lamang ako. "By the way, how's for today?"

"It's okay naman. Just the same in the past day. May mga ilang reservation lamang sa itaas para mamayang gabi." she explained.

"Walang nag-iskandalo." tanong ko na tila tinutukoy ang kahapong nangyari.

She shook her head. "Wala na."

"Good." nilibot ko ang mga mata ko at nakita ang mga tahimik na costumers. "Please, reserve a table for our lunch. Dadating ang mga pinsan ko."

"Noted." she smiled.

Dumeretsyo ako sa kitchen para tignan kung walang problema doon. Nanoot sa aking ilong ang mabango at nakakatakam na amoy ng ibat-ibang potahe ng pagkain.

"Good afternoon, Miss." they greeted me once they saw me.

"How's here?" I asked politely.

"It's fine here, medyo hassle lamang dahil maraming costumers but over all it's alright." sagot ng sa tingin ko ay pinaka-pinuno.

Hindi ko pa kasi sila kilala lahat. I'm still tryna memorizing their names. Ang dami kasi.

"I appreciate you all po, because you always doing your best, but don't forget to eat and rest also. Hindi po porket maraming tao ay kakalimutan niyo na ang sarili na pagpahingahin." paalala ko sa kanila.

"Yes miss, hindi namin nakakalimutan iyan." a nila.

Sinimulan kong itali ang aking buhok at pinulot ang apron na para sa akin pagkatapos ay maayos na nilagay sa ulo ang hairnet upang makapagsimula ng tumulong sa kanila kahit na saglit lamang. I really want to do it.

"Miss, kaya na namin ito." a nang isang kaedad kong babae.

"Opsss, huwag n'yo na akong pigilan, this is mine." agad kong angal as I chuckled. "What's your name again?" I asked.

"Abby, po." sagot niya.

"Hmmm, okay, I forget, eh."

I have five chef and their assistants, and there is also a baker for making some desserts. Malaki ito kaya kinakailan ko din ng maraming katuwang upang mas mapabilis ang mga gawain. I can't manage it with only a few worker.

I spent a couple of minutes inside the kitchen to help them even just for a little bit before I decided to leave to fix the table we will use for my lunch with my cousins.

When I decided to come back here to the Philippines my cousins really wanted to come with me because if I was alone I wouldn't be allowed by tito Amer and her wife tita Gemi. So I have no choice. Anyway, they're my cousin and they're the only family I have, if we apart to each other or they wouldn't go with me I think my life here will be boring and of course I'll miss them. Hindi ko na din sila natanggihan dahil iyon din naman ang gusto ni tito Amer ang bantayan ako dito. I don't know, though.

Tumungo ako sa ikalawang palapag ng restaurant upang masilip na ang aming magiging lamesa naisip na mamaya na lamang ako magtutungo sa rooftop. As I walked up to the stairs heading towards the second floor, every servers who saw me give me a greetings. Others get shocked when they saw me, I think they really not expecting me here, huh?

Sa ikalawang palapag ay maraming nagkakainan, siguro ay dahil tapat ang oras ngayon para sa tanghalian. Mabilis nahagip ng aking paningin si Sheeme na inaayos ang isa sa malalaking mesa na gawa sa narra na nakaksiguro ako na ito ang aming magiging lamesa. I saw her through the glass wall.

Mabilis akong naglakad patungo sa kaniya habang nililibot ang mga mata upang mahanap ang pinsan na si Gem.

"Where's Gem?" I asked to Sheeme when I'm in front of her.

"She's here a while ago, but she go outside to answer her phone. Baka nasa veranda." she said then smiled.

I nodded as a reply to her. Lumabas ako sa reservation area upang puntahan kung nasaan ang pinsan. Tumanaw ako sa magkabilang gilid at sa pinakadulong bahagi ng restaurant sa veranda ay kita ko si Gem hawak ang phone na nasa kaniyang tainga, may kausap.

"Hey, coz." I said once I get near to her.

Pinagtaasan niya ako ng kilay bago nagsalita sa kanyang katawagan. "Yes, Kuya just faster, I'm hungry!" she then off her phone.

She sipped first on the glass she was holding with wine before she finally turned to me. "What is it?"

"Is that kuya Aldwin?" I asked.

She nodded lazily. "Papunta na daw sila."

"Huh, okay. I will go to our table to fix our foods na." saad ko at akma na akong aalis ngunit nagsalita siya.

"Why don't you just join me rather that making yourself tired. Kaya na iyan ng mga servers mo." Inis niyang tugon.

"I want to do it." angal ko.

I heard her sighed. "Coz, remember what daddy said?" she sipped on her wine glass and peeked at me through it.

"Of course I remember..." I rolled my eyes.

Pinag-ikutan niya rin ako ng mata."Then... why are you stressing yourself? Sakatunayan nandito ka nga para mag relax, eh." patuya niyang sabi.

"This is my way to relax." I said with my small voice.

"Really? But based on what I see you're stressed. Stressing yourself is your relaxing as well?" she laughed sarcastically.

I smiled at her a little. "Coz I want this, and this is only I can do." pag-aamin ko.

"I know, I'll support you into this but don't force yourself too much, just rest, give yourself a break — and swear if daddy know about this..." umiling-iling siya hindi niya matapos ang sinasabi.

"Tito won't know about it." mabilis kong angal. "I know you won't tell to Tito."

Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin. "I can. Kay mommy din."

"Don't coz... I'm going to rest now tomorrow, promise." tinaas ko pa ang kanan kong kamay para mas kapani-paniwala.

"Really?" now her eyes twinkle. "Come with me I'm gonna shop tommorow. It's better to buy you a new dresses too." she said happily.

I sighed. I have no choice, then.

Alam kong iyan lamang ang inaantay niya. Siguro'y wala siyang kasama kaya ngayon ako ang pinipilit niya, tsk. This girl! But It's fine anyway para hindi niya na ako isumbong kay Tita at Tito. I know that if tito Amer find out about it, he will command me to go back to France which is I don't want.

They over protective and I don't know why.

"Tommorow, save and mark the date." masaya niya ng tugon.

"Yes. You already plan it, are you?" sarkatikto kong tanong.

"Actually, no..." iling niya, hindi matago ang ngiti sa labi.

Tsk!

Inis ko siyang tinalikuran upang makita kung ayos na ba ang aming lamesa at mga pagkain. I think her plan was good, though.

Bumungad sa akin ang ayos ng lamesa na aming pagkakainan ganon din ang mga putahe na request ko. It's simple luch but I want to be prepared even though they're my relatives. I want to show that I have the ability in this field even I'm young? Well they only the one who saying that I'm still young.

"Tapos na, Kairra." saad ni Sheeme pagkalapit ko.

"Thanks, Sheeme." I smiled at her.

"I will now leave you here. I will just check something important downstairs." paalam niya.

Pagkaalis ni Sheeme hindi rin nagtagal ay dumating na din ang mga pinsan ko para sa aming tanghalian. Si kuya Aldwin na pinsan ko na kapatid ni Gem kasama ang asawang si ate Zen.

"How are you, Kairra?" we're in the middle of our lunch when ate Zen asked me.

"I'm fine, ate." I smiled at her before I continued eating.

She smiled sweetly at me. "That's good, then." she commented.

"How 'bout you, ate?" tanong ko pabalik habang ngumunguya.

"Don't mind me, I'm fine." she declared. "When is your rest day?"

Sasagutin ko palang sana si ate Zen ng wala akong rest ngunit nauna ng si Gem.

"Bukas, ate Zen." maligayang singit ni Gem.

I just rolled my eyes...

"Talaga?" baling ni ate Zen sakin.

I smiled a little. "Yup."

"We're going to shop. You want to come with us, ate?" Gem asked.

Malungkot na ngumiti sa amin si ate Zen. "I want to come, but you know I have a presentation for tommorow."

"Sayang ate, maybe next time." si Gem.

"Yes, sure. I will clear my schedule first." ate Zen promised.

"Kairra, are you not having a hard time here?" tanong naman ni kuya Aldwin sa akin sa seryosong boses.

Huminto ako sa pagkain para masagot si kuya Aldwin. "Hindi naman, Kuya."

"Why don't you just stay in your house or plan a vacation. You're stressing yourself here." dagdag niya pa, napakaseryoso ng boses.

"Exactly, Kuya. I suggested that to her already pero ayaw niya." si Gem sa nagsusumbong na boses.

Nginitian ko si kuya Aldwin. "Kuya, I'm not having a hard time doing it. It's fine and if I will just going to stay at home I will be bord. I'm fine here."

"Just let here, Ald." pigil ni ate Zen sa asawa na mukhang may sasabihin siya.

Kuya Aldwin sighed. "Just take care of yourself." aniya.

Binigyan ko ito ng malaking ngiti at tumango. Of course, I need to take care of myself. Hindi naman ako nagpapabaya, eh.

They continued chitchatting and I just kept quiet, no intention of joining to their conversation. Ate Zen need to close her presentation tomorrow for more clients to come to our company dahil isa ito asset upang makatulong sa kumpanya para mas lalong lumago.

I continue eating my foods when I felt myself suddenly stunned like something bothering in my mind and heart when my attention was quickly caught by the man who had just arrived in the VIP room. I followed him with my gaze until he went to a table that reserved for him. I don't know but my gaze still following him until he sat down on the table that reserved for him. Kita ko ang seryoso niyang mga matang nakatingin din sa akin, sakto pang magkatapat ang aming inuupuan. Hindi ko magawang maalis ang aking tingin sa kaniya.

I felt a soft bang in my chest.

My heart felt pain while my head started to ache for the reason I did not know — again.

Tiny pieces of sweat were began to form on my forehead down to my cheeks. May pilit na alaalang pumapasok nanaman sa aking isipan, it was a memory was trying to coming back to me but I couldn't remember. Sa pag-pilit kong may maalala ay mas lalong sumasakit ang aking ulo kaya't hindi ko mapigilang mapahawak dito.

I want to remember that memories but — but I couldn't clearly see all the details — but I saw myself on the rooftop of our restaurant, this restaurant. It was dark, seems it's already night. There was a man setting in front of me but I couldn't see him clearly but I saw myself smiling at the man who's in front of me.

Pinikit ko ng mariin ang aking mata, pinipilit na makita kung ano ang mukha ng lalaking ito. Though, I couldn't see him clearly ngunit sa postura niya ay alam kong lalaki ito ngunit hindi ko lamang talaga makita ang kaniyang mukha because he's blurred on my eyes and my head was really aching so bad that I couldn't handle.

It was blurred.

Blurred the only thing I can see.

I stunned.

I felt cold.

I have a strange feeling that I have never felt before. I felt my heart — I felt my heart beat with the rhythm of happiness. Happiness that I didn't felt before. Happiness that comes from the man who's sitting in front of me.

"Are you okay!" takang baling sa akin ni Gem na katabi ko.

Maingay niyang nabitawan ang hawak na kubyertos at tumungo sa akin. Hindi ako makapagsalita sa sakit at tinitiis na lamang ang sakit sa ulo. It seems like my head is going to explode with pain that I feel.

I closed my eyes more firmly as if it would help to get rid of the pain while my hand still on my head. It's still heart, I couldn't hold the pain on my head.

"Kuya!" Gem shouted, shakiest.

"Call the doctor, Zen!" kuya Aldwin voice thunder.

Ramdam ko ang biglaan niyang pagtayo sa kanyang upuan dahil gumalaw ang aming lamesa.

"Yes, Yes—"

I cut ate Zen off. "N-o need, a-te Zen." pigil ko nakapikit pa rin ng mariin ang mga mata habang ang kamay ay nakabawak pa sa aking ulo.

"What happened, Kairra?" kuya Aldwin asked, really worried.

"No need to call a doctor... I'm okay — I just want w-ater." nanghihina kong saad.

Fudge, I felt weak!

I felt my body been weak!

"Calm down, Kairra." si ate Zen at binigyan ako ng isang basong tubig.

Pilit akong uminom habang pikit pa ang mga mata. I let out a deep sighed trying to calm myself.

"Anong nararamdaman mo, Kairra?" mahinahong tanong ni kuya Aldwin.

I sighed once more. "I-I'm fine na."

Slowly, I try to open my eyes.

Sa pagdilat ng mga mata kong naghihina ay nagtama ito sa aking kaharap. Ramdam ko ang mga mata niyang seryoso ngunit may bahid ng pagtataka at pag-aalala. I don't know his name but he's the son of Mrs. Mizelle Dela Torallez.

What's that care for?

Is he know me? Because the way he looked at me seems like he really know me. It was like he knew me more than I knew myself.

Who is he?

What his name?

Hindi ko ba talaga siya kilala?

A part of me hopping that he's also worried about me right now but a part of me didn't believe. How can I believe if I didn't know him. Maybe — maybe iba ang nakikita ko sa pinapahayag ng kanyang mga mata?

But — they say the eyes are the window to see what one person really feels? Our eyes are the window of our soul.

My heart suddenly beat.

I felt happy.

But — but I really do not know why?