To Kiss My True Memories

CHAPTER 26

Chapter 26

I couldn't take away or even blink my eyes while looking at Darrow in his eyes from afar. Ang seryoso niyang mata ay nakatuon parin sa akin. Hindi ko magawang maigalaw ang sarili dahil abala sa pakikipagtitigan sa kaniya. Ang taging nararamdaman ko lang ay ang bawat masasayang pintig ng aking puso na hindi ko maintindihan kung para saan!

Why I couldn't understand what my heart shouting for!? Is my heart beating this strange feeling because of him? Is there something wrong with how I feel right now? O talagang tumitibok ang puso ko ng ganito kagalak dahil sa kaniya?

Paano? Gayong pangalawang pagkikita pa lamang namin ito! Ayaw kong amin dahil... dahil natatakot ako na may nararamdaman na agad ako para sa kaniya! Is it called, liking for the first meeting?

The fudge!

Una pa lamang naming pagkikita ay may naramdaman na ako para sa kaniya... and I thought it was anger but I was wrong because it's the feelings that I didn't expect!

There's something missing with our last and first meeting and I thought it was just my handkerchief - but it was really something!

Is this for real?

No, no! Kairra, you don't know him that much!

Dahil sa sobrang pagkakatulala sa kaniya ay halos napatalon ako nang magsalita ang mc para sa birthday party ni tita Ezee. The mc announced that the party will start a minute from now. I quickly turned my eyes away to Darrow eyes because I feel my heart wanted to explode now!

What was that, Kairra!

Bakit ka nakikipagtitigan sa kaniya! Pagkatalikod sa kaniya ay agad na napahawak sa dibdib na malakas ang kalabog, hindi na muli pang sumubok na tumingin sa kung nasaan siya. I just distract myself towards who's speaking in front now to at least calm myself.

"Ang gwapo talaga ni Darrow! At kung sino man ang babaeng naru-rumor sa kaniya, I know she's just flirting Darrow! As if patulan siya ni Darrow ko. Slap soil siya!" narinig kong saad ni Zandro, aboridong-aburido.

"Shhh, quiet na, Zandro. Hindi ka sure." saway ni Stef kay Zandro.

I sighed heavily when I feel myself calm a little bit now. Unti-unti ay lumingon ako sa aking bandang likuran, umaasa na naroon parin siya ngunit wala na maski ang pinsan kong kasama niya ay wala na sa kinatatayuan nila kanina. Where is he now?

You're really punk, Kairra! Talagang gusto mo siya!

"Darrow really looking at you kanina. Is there's something between you two?" bulog ni Sheeme sa akin sa kalagitnaan ng pagsasalita ng mc.

I turned to her innocently. "Sheeme, we just met a week ago."

"K, don't keep it. Nararamdaman kong parang may bago." aniya, masama ang tingin sa akin.

"There's nothing between us!" pilit ko dahil iyon ang totoo.

"Then, I feel like meron kang something para sa kaniya?" taas ang kilay niyang saad.

I scowled, playing innocent in front of her. "Something para sa kaniya?"

"K, don't keep it!" iritado na siya.

Napabuga ako ng malalim. Ang titig niya sa akin ay seryoso, nag-aanatay na magsabi ako ng totoo. Napangiwi na lamang ako sa kaniya.

I pouted first before I speak. "I feels something new inside me everytime I'm looking at him! Hindi ka maniniwala, Sheeme... dahil maski ako ay hindi!"

"You mean you like him already?" nakataas ang kilay niyang tanong.

"I-I don't know, I'm not sure."

"Don't denied it, you like him."

"But it's too sudden, Shee!"

She just shrugged before she turned her attention to our classmates.

Nanatili na lamang akong tahimik, hindi na nakisali sa mga kaklase because my mind still thinking if I really like him that too sudden?

There's really something inside me that I couldn't accept for now!

Ang nakasimangot kong mukha ay nagliwanag lamang nang maiserve na ang mga foods. It's time now to distract myself!

"Your favorite part everytime there's a events and part." bumaling sa akin si Sheeme upang sabihin lamang iyon.

Hindi ko na siya pinansin dahil natuon na ang atensyon sa pagkain. Before I eat my food I examine it first. I saw how neat and perfect the plating. The server from our restaurant was really doing there best everytime there was a events or party like this.

Nang magsimula na akong kumain ay ninamnam ang bawat lasa sa pagkain. The cooking is just right while the taste of each food is in the right mixture. Ang galing talaga ng mga cook namin. They never disappoint me in whatever course they serve.

Nang matapos akong kumain ay tumayo na ako. Bumaling kay Sheeme, magpapaalam palamang ngunit nagsalita na ito.

"I know where you going." she said playfully.

Ngumiti na lamang ako sa kaniya ng malaki. She really know me that much, huh!

Gaya nga ng alam ni Sheeme, nagtungo ako sa dessert table. Pagkadating doon ay bumungad ang chocolate fountain. Nakangiti lamang ako doon habang pinagmamasdan iyon. It's really nice but I think those chocolate was too sweet?

"Someone didn't feel cold, huh." someone said from my back.

Napakurap ako. That voice sounds too familiar to me. Ohh! And gosh, he's on my back! He's too near at me!

Slowly, I turned to my back. Our eyes immediately meet. Tinatagan ko ang aking tingin upang matapatan ang paninitig niya sa akin, though my heart began to beat loud and fast again that's why I couldn't focus to stare in his eyes.

He sighed helplessly. "You look so cold, I'll let you barrow my coat." aniya.

Sinimulan niyang hubarin ang kaniyang suot ma coat, hindi naman ako makapagsalita sa gulat. I want to protested but no words came out from my mouth while my eyes widened.

"Come on, I will wear it to you." aniya pa nang mahubad na ng tuluyan ang kaniyang coat.

He's now wearing a white long sleeve that why his massive body reveal. Napalunok ako nang makitang humakbang siya ng isang beses palapit sa akin, agad naman akong napahakbang palikod ngunit dahil maliit lamang ang nagawa kong hakbang ay balewala ito upang mapalayo sa kaniya. And from where he is he can easily touch me.

He's too near at me now while his full attention is on me. Mabilis akong napabaling sa paligid, natatakot na may makakita sa amin at baka makaabot sa babaeng naru-rumor sa kaniya. I don't know if it's a relief that all the people was too busy socializing to others, seems they have their own world.

Pagbalik ko ng tingin sa lalaking nasa harapan naramdaman ko na ang telang pinatong sa aking balikan. Darrow putting his coat now on me.

"W-hat... what are you d-oing." pagalit kong saad ngunit nautal. "Take that away!" mariin kong saad habang masama ang tingin sa kaniya.

Abala ako sa pagtataray sa kaniya ngunit hindi parin nakataas sa aking ilong ang mabagong amoy ng coat niya. Shocks, it's smell good like him!

"You look cold-"

"But I'm fine!" binigyan ko siya ng masamang tingin.

Though, I really want his smell - I mean the smell of his coat I shouldn't let him come this near me because someone might be hurt, his woman. Ayoko pa namang mainvolve sa kaniya dahil hindi tama!

Akma kong tatanggalin ang coat na kakapatong niya sa aking balikat ngunit mabilis nahuli ng kamay niya ang akin. Halos manginig ako sa sobrang lambot ng pagkakahawak niya sa amin. His hold was too soft seems like I'm a fragile which can be broken at anytime!

Mabilis kong binawi ang kamay ko sa kaniya, scared that someone could see us at the same time his touch makes me feel what I really feel for him! Shocks, I can't even breath now! I'm tryna calming what I really feel inside but I can't!

"I-I don't want to see us someone this too near! And you shouldn't take your coat off! Ayos naman ako!" pagtataray ko.

"What if someone see us? What's the matter?" he asked with his deep voice. "You said at our last meeting, you don't have boy? Maybe, there is now, huh. He will get mad at you, probably?" he mocked as I caught him smirking.

What he thinks of me? Isang linggo lamang ang lumipas nakahanap na ako ng lalaki! Eh, siya nga iyong may babae, eh!

"Wala akong lalaki! Do you think ganon ako? Pagkalipas ng isang linggo meron na!? Walang magagalit sa akin, malay ko kung meron sayo, siguro meron." sarkastikto kong saad.

He chuckled softly. "Sino naman?"

"I don't know!" iritado kong saad. "Just get your coat on me now!"

"If no one will get mad, then wear that."

"Ayoko nga, eh," sinimangutan ko siya habang bahagyan siyang tinitingala.

Ayystt, he's really tall!

"It's because of the boy at your table?" tanong niya. "Is he your man?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't have man! Wala akong lalaki! Eh, ikaw nga itong may babae, eh!" pagalit kong saad.

Ohh, gosh, Kairra! You sounds so bitter! What's that for!?

Dahil naman sa sinabi ko ay natahimik siya. Siguro'y totoo nga. Ang kapal niyang paratangan akong may lalaki na pagkalipas pa lamang ng isang linggo, eh, siya nga ang may babae na, eh!

"I don't want to involve to you! Baka mamaya ay may bigla na lamang sumugod sa akin at sabunutan ako!" mariin kong saad, sarkastikto.

"Wala akong babae." depensa niya.

I sighed heavily sound losing patience with him. "Then, who is this woman who is rumored that there is something with the both of you?" utas ko sabay irap sa kaniya.

Shocks, I'm really sounds so bitter ngunit wala na akong pakealam. Niiinis niya ako, eh!

"Magsinungaling ka pa kase!" I murmured.

"I'm not lying, wala akong babae." mariin niyang saad, narinig ang binubulong-bulong ko.

"Then fine!" napairap muli ako sa kawalan.

I heard him sighed heavily, seems he's having a hard time. "What should I do? I will prove it to you."

"I said it's fine na!" iritado akong nakatitig sa mata niya. "I don't want to be involve to you, anyway." bulong-bulong ko muli habang hindi makatingin sa mata niya.

"I still want to prove it to you." he said softly.

"No, need!" mataray ko siyang inirapan. "I will get going now. You already put your coat on me, sige na hihiramin ko na ito." I gave him a smirked.

Ang bango kase talaga ng coat niya!

I immediately turned my back to him. Ngunit hindi pa nakakahakbang ng isang beses ay napabaling muli sa kaniya. I remembered something.

"Hey, may nakakalimutan ka ba?" nanliliit ang mata kong tanong sa kaniya.

He scowled. "What is it?"

Tsk!

"You forgot something you had to give back to me."

Mas lalo pang kumunot ang noo niya sa sinabi ko. Wala ba talaga siyang naaalala!?

"Gosh, my handkerchief!" I rolled my eyes to him. "You should give it back to me! Nasaan na?"

"Isn't on me right now. But don't worry its safe." aniya.

"Eh, nasaan na? Bakit kase hindi mo pa binalik noon?" I asked, serious.

He didn't speak, he just shrugged.

What's that mean? He didn't know kung hindi niya binalik.

"Siguro sinadya mong hindi ibalik ano kase mabango? Is my handkerchief smell good like me?" I asked excitedly while smiling in front of him.

Nanliit na ang mata ko sa kakangiti sa kaniya ngunit ilang segundo na ay hindi niya parin ako sinasagot. It means, isn't smell good? But I'm smell good naman, ah!

I just pouted.

Mabango iyon, eh! Siguro'y nawala na ang amoy dahil pinangpunas ko noon sa pawis?

"Swear mabango iyon." seryoso kong saad sa kaniya. "Halika, amuyin mo ako gan'to ang amoy ng panyo ko. Mabango." saad ko at lumapit sa kaniya.

Nang makalapit sa kaniya ay hindi naman siya nakagalaw. Seems there's something wrong about him now! I stare him while pouting, his eyes was serious but I caught his adam's apple moved for several times.

"C'mon, smell me! Mabango ako kaya mabango rin ang panyo ko." utas ko sa nagmamayabang na boses.

Bahagyan pa akong napatingkayad upang ilahad sa kaniya ang aking leeg.

"It's fine... I can smell you from here already." he said as he swallowed for times.

"Talaga? Mabango ako 'diba? Ganon ang amoy ng handkerchief ko." nakangiti kong saad.

"Yeah." he said shortly.

Humakbang na ako paatras dahil ang lapit ko na pala sa kaniya. I just said earlier that I don't want him to come near me, tapos ngayon ako pa ang lumalabas.

"Anyway, kailan mo ibabalik? Bukas ibalik mo para magkita tayo." I suggested excitedly.

"Not tommorow."

"Huh, bakit?"

"Hindi ba ay may pasok ka?" nakataas ang kilay niyang tanong.

I nodded quickly. "Hmmm, pwede namang magkita tayo ng panandalian." pilit ko.

"Sa linggo na lamang tayo magkita. Dadalhin ko.'

"Lingo pa! Lingo pa lang ngayon! Ang tagal pa!" nagkukumahog kong angal.

He chuckled quickly because of my reaction.

Napatikom naman ang bibig ko sa kahihiyan. Ang sabi mo Kairra, hindi siya pwedeng lumapit sayo ngunit bakit ngayon tila ikaw pa ang may gusto! You punk, just stay calm!

"Okay, sa linggo." mahinahon ko ng saad.

"Why? You excited to see me?" umaasang tanong nitya.

My eyes widened. "Of course not! Bakit naman! Hindi naman kita gusto!" depensa ko.

Narinig ko muli ang mahina niyang pagtawa.

Napatikom muli sa bibig dahil nasobrahan na ata ang sinabi ko! Shocks! I feel my face heated.

Dahil sa sobrang-sobrang kahihiyan ay agad na lamang akong nagpaalam sa kaniya at baka mas mapahiya pa ng lalo sa harapan niya.

"I will get going now."

"See you on sunday." aniya, bakas ang saya sa boses.

"Okay, then!" iritado kong saad bago siya tinalikuran.

I will wait a week again before I see him again!

You punk, Kairra! You shouldn't be too obvious! Or else he will notice that you have feelings for him!

*************

Sometimes, we want the time get pass but sometimes we does not.

Tatlong araw pa bago sumapit nag linggo kung saan magkikita kami ni Darrow ngunit ito ako inip na inip na sa tagal ng bawat araw na dumadaan. We will see each other on sunday but I don't know where place? He didn't say any place while I'm too.

It's already eighth pm and I'm still here in our restaurant. Inaantay ang oras na lumipas. Pwede naman na akong umuwi kaso nga lang ay mas pinili kong manatili na rito, kakagaling ko lamang sa school and I'm still wearing my uniform. I guess mom and dad was in our home now, I don't want to think what they're doing because I know they fighting again.

I chose to stayed here upang hindi na sila marinig at makitang nag-aaway, though dad texted me earlier, asking if where am I. I just said I'm still here and doing something important. It's true anyway. Nagawa ko na ang lahat ng assignment namin kaya ito ako nakatunganga sa counter habang ang tingin ay sa labas kung saan madilim na, malalim ang iniisip.

"Kairra, hindi ka pa kumakain." si ate Sam, lumapit sa akin para sabihin iyon.

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na bugtong-hininga. "Hindi pa ako nagugutom."

"Hindi ka pa uuwi? Gabi na, may klase ka pa bukas."

I shook my head while smiling at her a little. "I will stay here more." tanging saad ko.

"Ayos ka lang?" mahinahon niyang tanong.

"Yup. Magpapalipas lang ako ng oras dito." nginitian ko siya.

Hindi kalaunan ay nagpaalam na rin siya. Napabugtong-hininga ako at bumalik sa pagkakatulala. Yes, maybe we couldn't prevent our mind not to think to deeep everytime our we spacing out. These situations makes us think what things will possible to happen along our way.

Until when my parents will stay like this? Are they planning something that I didn't know? Are they planning to have an annulment? What would happen to me, then?

I don't want a broken family!

Instead to stay more here and think about it I just decided to go home. Mababaliw lamang ako dito kakaisip sa kung anong hahantungan ni mommy at daddy. Pumasok ako sa maliit na opisina sa counter upang kuhanin na ang aking gamit doon at nang makauwi na. Matamlay ang bawat galaw ko dahil iniisip kung ano nanaman ang madadatnan sa bahay. Probably, mom and dad fights again.

Hinanap ko si ate Sam upang magpaalam saktong nandoon naroon lamang siya sa counter. Agad na akong nagpaalam.

"Ate Sam, uwi na ako."

"Oh, sige, sige. Gabi narin. Mag-ingat ka." aniya.

Tumango ako at nginitian siya bago naglakad palabas — ngunit, nakakaapat na hakbang pa lamang ako nang mag-angat ng tingin sa glass door at naabutan ang lalaking may seryosong tingin na hindi ko inaasahan ngayon. He's standing there while his eyes was on me.

"What he's doing here?" my mind whispered.

I stopped walking and just stand while looking at him with my startled face. Hindi makapaniwalang nandito siya ngayon.

"It's true, he's here!" I whispered.

Nang makabawi sa gulat ay agad na akong naglakad palapit sa kaniya. Naramdaman ko na lamang ang labi kong nangingiti na habang sa loob ko ay nabuhayan. I walked faster while he stayed there standing seems he's waiting for me to come towards him — or he's waiting someone?

Is he with another woman? May kasama ba siya? Anong ginagawa niya dito gayong gabi na? Don't tell me he's here to eat dinner — with someone, I guess?

Ang mabilis kong paglakad ay bumagal nang maisip na may kasama siya. Probably, iyong babaeng naru-rumor sa kaniya? I also remained my face serious because I feel earlier that I'm too obvious that I'm excited because he's here now.

"Hmm, hey, you're here." I saide casually.

Nginitian ko siya ngunit ang mata ay nabaling sa kaniyang likuran at gilid na baka mamataan ang susulpot niyang kasama. But minutes passed and there's no one appear and approach him.

"What are you doing here? Are you with your girl?" kunwari'y masigla kong tanong nang binalik ang tingin sa kaniya.

"I'm alone." he said with his usual deep voice.

Nag-antay pa muli ako ng ilang segundo, iniisip na may darating at lalapit sa kaniya ngunit walang talaga. I take back my eyes on him.

"What are you doing here? Sabi mo sa sunday pa tayo magkikita? Bakit nandito ka na?" sunod-sunod kong tanong, bahagyan nakaangat ang ulo upang matingala siya.

"I'm here to have my dinner." aniya.

I bit my lips as I nodded. "Hmmm, I don't think so."

"What do you think, then?"

"You're here because you miss me!" nakangiti kong at nagawa pa siyang pinagtaasan ng kilay.

He smirked. "I didn't know you're here."

Napasimangot na lamang ako sa kaniya. Everyday I think of him and I'm excited to see him on sunday because... because I think I miss him!

"You, what are you still doing here?" tanong niya.

"I can be here kahit kailan ko gusto. It's our restaurant." sarkastikto kong saad at inirapan siya.

He chuckled happily.

"And I don't want to go home, yet." dagdag ko sa malungkot na boses.

"Why? Gabi na." aniya.

"Just nothing." tipid ko siyang nginitian. "So, you will have your dinner here?" tanong ko upang maiba na ang usapan.

He didn't answer me quickly, instead he watched me intently seemed he examining me if there's something wrong about me. I just raise my brow to him.

At the end he nodded as his answer.

"You sure... wala kang kasama?" tanong ko pa. "Baka may kasama ka naman..."

"Wala akong kasama." panlilinaw niya.

Napangiti ako doon. So I can have my dinner with him?

"Why?" kuryoso niyag tanong.

Napakagat ako sa labi upang mapigilan ang ngiti. "Then... can I join you for dinner?" tinaasan ko pa siya ny kilay, kunwari'y nagtataray.

Tskk, I wish he won't notice how excited I am!

"Hindi ka pa kumain?" seryoso niyang tanong. "You own this restaurant but you didn't take you dinner yet?" pagalit niyang saad.

"I'm not in the mood, eh." I said simply. "Tara na sa taas, doon tayo kumain. Maganda view roon dahil gabi na!" excited ko ng saad kahit hindi pa siya pumapayag.

Nginitian ko siya ng malaki, pansin ko naman ang mariing paninitig niya sa akin. He just stared me for a while before I heard him sighed heavily and take his eyes away at me. I just smiles at him widely.

"Let's go." he said with his serious voice.

Mas lalo pang lumaki ang ngiti sa aking labi. This time, I don't mind if he will notice how excited I am everytime I'm with him. I just want to feel these happiness inside me. Ayokong pigilan kung ano mang saya ang nararamdaman ko pagdating sa kaniya... because I realized I could only feel this once.

Let us not restrain ourselves from feeling pleasure at an unexpected time, we should embrace these time and appreciate, instead.

My heart has never felt the pleasure I feel now. Hindi ko alam kung gusto ko nga lang ba talaga siya o mas higit pa roon. I don't know what it feels loving with someone, I've never loved before! It is the first time if ever!