Numb Thorns

No one really said a thing about how lonely and back to reality and how fast life hits you when you are really done with the divorce. Being an introvert helped quite a lot but am one who gets really tired at a repetitive lifestyle. From watching my boys, working and just surviving, it seems like a lot of activities being all by my self but such straight patterns makes me feel out of my soul and mind and old. Am not that old. Going forty one and divorced does sound like am old already to have to have fallen out of love with my now ex husband, does really make me feel old. Am Alexandra, Alex for short, I have been the reserved and naughty girl right from my teens. I am not one who just have fun because everyone is having it, I have fun at my own terms making the whole thing memorable. My freedom to explore and experience life as it came unfolding made me the type of person I am right now. I traveled, made friends, did almost all my bucket list adventures before hitting twenty three years and somehow got married to someone who I thought knew my lifestyle. For the records am not a way word woman, Jeffrey( ex husband) who was my partner for 3 years before we got married liked my adventure spirit and wanted that same experience even while married, the spontaneous lifestyle and still been the person you wanted to be without bothering on the main norms of marriage were what we talked about on most nights after our shenanigans but then after we had our boys and establishing our businesses to what it is now. I realized that that spontaneous and adventurous lifestyle will be the prize we both have to pay. Making it seem like we were drifting apart from each other as one was either too tired or not mentally available for the other. We would plan trips and date nights or movie nights but one thing or the other made it hard to actually commit to those fun times. It was as though the spark of our relationship was dying and none of us even noticed. I and Jeffery came to an unexpected end leaving both of us especially me drained and empty as I was the one with the spark. Reminiscing on old times do help relive me of some work or home related stress, since it’s my go to happy place moments saved in my head, I felt a little better and came back to reality, my workload filed office desk and my secretary walking in to alert me of something that needs my urgent attention, yeahhhh this is becoming boring. Secretary Olives Ma, the DA and his team are still waiting at the conference hall, should I assign your deputy sir to attend the meeting in your stead, mam???? She said looking at my face and trying to know my mood so as to give a better response to my situation right now, Alex Olive, there’s no reason to tell Deputy Adams to attend the meeting on my stead when I actually asked for it. Help me with my jacket, please. I said standing up from my swivel comforter, I tried to hide my feelings and be 100% in my serious boss attitude. She got my jacket and we both left to do some business meetings. Oliver has worked with me for almost 7years as my Pa and friend. We both married but she’s still very young. She knows me quite so well because when been married became extremely, excruciating and unavoidable boring and tiring, we brooded together in my office closet, as it could pass as a lounge and a personal exit from my office. Most times we worked over time as I always like to review each departments ledger once in a while to kill time. Sometimes I slip and she does finds out am stressed and provides solutions in my favor. Am really in her debts as she takes her job seriously. The meeting finally came to end, I gave myself a mental reminder of f things I need to do once I get back to my office, calling my kids father just to check up on them because they will be staying with him for the week, as we decided co-parenting was what we could at least try to do for them since the divorce was solely our decision, it’s been two days they left and I feel more aware of my life decisions. Walking down the one minute trip to my office, Secretary Olive kept saying a lot of things and then finally handed my phone over to me. Secretary Olive Ma’m I thing your family been trying to reach you the whole time the meeting was going on. Alex Thanks Olive. I really need to talk to them. I collected my phone and saw 8 missed call from my kids, they are 15 and 12. Miles and Enzo, my babies. They really tried as hard as they could try to make the whole divorce a lot easier for me and their dad. I guess warm parenting helped create the emotional support I got from them. I quickly shut the door behind me and slumped myself on the couch. I failed their fathers number and like I much expected Enzo was the one who picked on first ring. Hey pumpkin, he’s face filled with laugher as I knew that Miles wasn’t far behind. Miles and Enzo. Good day mum, how have you been, been calling you but you weren’t picking up. How are you how’s workkkk mummy, dad just came to pick us up that’s why we been trying to call you, we went out to get some fast food, I told them mum isn’t going to be happy with it but I guess they really make organic food not gmo, and so they both kept talking and making silly concerned faces at me. Talking to them with their dad present makes the whole separation a little less awkward and tiring. The whole scenery still spells out family and stuff. They will always be a part of me that I will always be so damn grateful for. We talked the whole time till they got home and settled in. Both of them made it their duty to make sure I was a lot relaxed afterwards. It was almost time to closure so I promised to call while going home. I finished up my work load for the day and got ready to get home. I made a mental reminder of things to o het at the grocery store before heading home since the weather isn’t looking to friendly for a divorced home alone old workaholic woman like me. I got to my parking lot but I didn’t get to see my driver, I looked over towards Oliver to know the reason my driver is no where to be seen. Secretary Olive. Ma’m you sent him to take the marketing department for their field work. And from there he’s meant to drop them home, and head back to his since it might be too late to return to the office and then drive you home. She said, nodding her head in a way to tell that the last part was my idea. I smiled and nooses my head in agreement having remembered when I said that yesterday. Alex Ohhhh, I forgot about that. We need to head home before we get stuck in traffic because of the rain. Secretary Olive. It’s definitely a good idea if we hit the gas right now. Am sure you will be comfortable driving yourself home right ?? She now sounds like she’s my boss Alex. Sure I can drive . I still have a call date with Mike’s and Enzo so I’d be able to handle that. We said our goodbyes and got into our car. I drove my 2020 baby jeep, a definitely colored shining purple. It was the car I bought with part of my alimony, so I drove with a little big bad and bougee vibe. The rich aunty vibes of you have to put it that way, I called the kids but had to hang up as they were both z A working on their homework. I and Jeffrey spoke a little and then realized that I needed to get to the grocery store. I packed my car and worked inside the mall, I got a few of the items I needed and the security officer helped get my bags to my car.