The Girl Of Sorrows

It always starts with a birth. Whether wanted or not. Life is brought into the world every day. The saying about how there’s one born every minute is true and so surreal. Even now there’s one being born at this very minute. It’s how she came to be. She always saw things she thought wouldn’t happen to her. Abuse, pain,hurt. Misplaced trust. As a kid we crave for the adult world untill it’s to late and we come to realise we should have enjoyed being a kid more. Aylina was 2 years old when her mother left her. Her mother packed her things and never looked back. “Being a mother wasn’t something I signed up for.” “It’s to hard.” These were the words she said and left with. Her mother loved her but it was to much for her. The arguing, the late nights, the long hard rough days. The stress. Her deadbeat father who didn’t have a job or was barely home. Gone at all times in the night unreachable. Maybe her mother knew something. Who knows. Aylina cried the whole night when her mother left. No one comforted her. Things only got worse from there. Her father started to spiral. He drank, he started to get into debt and worst of all he lashed out and some days wasn’t home. Aylina was left to learn for herself. She figured out how to do things for herself even though she shouldn’t have to. She was smart. She used things to climb onto so she could reach the places she couldn’t. She used this to access the fridge to feed herself. She played by herself in the dark corner of her room. The curtains always closed. Aylina learned to be self sufficient. When she turned four her father ended up dying due to a car crash after being highly intoxicated. You would think that finally she would be free but sometimes the world has a way of f*****g people over. Aylina ended up in the care system. In some places it was great and others it was just broken. Aylina swapped foster homes more than a few times which confused the poor girl. Eventually she was taken in by a small family. She was taken to a small cozy house in the city. She was settled in her room and given some space. Aylina didn’t understand what was going on. She was scared. She lay there in her new bed unsure of what was going to happen next. She kept quiet. Her long blond hair sprawled out on the bed going in different directions. The bags under her eyes indicating she hadn’t slept much. She slowly started to drift to sleep. She dreamt of a feild. She was there with her mother running happily while her mother sat and watched smiling. Telling her not to go to far. Aylina dreamt of her picking the flowers in the feild counting them as she did. Her mother would be praising her for how smart she was. Her mother would run to her and scoop her up in her arms and tickle her. The sun was bright and it was warm. This dream was better than the nightmares she would have every night. It shed some light in the dark. If Aylina could she wouldn’t want to wake up. She would let this dream consume her and take her. Aylina was cold and her skin was pale. She looked mal nourished. When a woman came into the bedroom and noticed the little girl asleep she placed the blanket over her and left. She closed the door behind her and quietly left the hallway. She told her husband that the little girl was asleep and they shouldn’t push her today. They let the little girl sleep in the room alone considering the day it had been and how she needed to settle. The house fell silent. Aylina lay there quietly in that room that was now hers, undisturbed in her beautiful dream that she wished to be real. If only she knew that this was just the beginning. That she would only indure more as time went on and on.